MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby dadforever » Fri Jan 12, 2018 6:32 pm

You did great. I'm actually surprised- but very happy for you. Keep good records moving forward, it's important.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:07 pm

Great job! Good for you, brotha!!!
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:22 pm

The ball just got moved forward bro!

Nice job massie.

You put in a lot of work and to the newbies here is where it pays off.
"No." is a complete sentence.
Do not move out of your house.
What are you grateful for?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby whatever_works » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:31 am

Looks good massdad. Good work.

Question: is this your temporary order? Was this the first time in front of a judge for you?
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:46 am

Congrats on closing the divorce out. For your State, 3 overnights sounds pretty good. I hope you get everything you worked so hard for in the end.

Curious, how long until your Ex must move out? Personally, it was tough living with my Ex up until the day she moved out. Frankly, it made the divorce (month earlier) seem surreal. I mention this because I see some of me in you and want to forewarn you. I prepared myself like never before for each of my mediation sessions (it was a 2nd full-time job and kept me occupied.) But I was not prepared for the shock of silence when STBX moved out and kids spent their first extended stay with her. It wasn't until I spent that first night alone in half empty house w/o kids that reality crept in. Stay strong. Don't be like me and get lulled into thinking the mental game is over.
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Re: MA - Strategy and feedback Part III

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Jan 17, 2018 9:11 am

thanks everyone for the well wishes. I took some time away to reflect and process things. While I am happy I got 3 overnights per week, I am disappointed in myself for not controlling the process better. I feel I should have done a better job laying out my case. Which is why I am positive moving forward. As it stands now, I just don't see her being able to only work Thurs - Sunday day and be able to provide for the kids nor stay in the area long term. She will either have to work more hours (i'll be the anytime, anywhere, no questions asked) to help document and build status quo.

I'm disappointed in myself for feeling I left some meat on the bones. I'm also disappointed the kids routine and lives will be uprooted because their mother thought it best that they only remain with her. It makes a lot of sense, she has created this narrative around her being supermom (she isn't) and thus took this thing to the mats. I'm also angry at her for being a lying, deceitful person who manipulated my parents and family against me. Which means I am really angry at myself for not making better decisions on who I stick my penis inside of and make a baby. The signs where there, I was too selfish myself to listen.

However, that is in a past problem. My focus is now, the future, being proactive and on being the best dad i can be by being the best listener for my kids, something i work on daily. Yeah it sucks to give money to their mother when i have and am more than capable to spend that money directly on them. I will take this as an opportunity to really reduce the crap that i shouldn't give a fock about and use that to focus on what is really matters, my 3 kids. The rest can kiss my < edited >.
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