Re: Update: Temporary Orders

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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 5:25 pm

I did not author this thread.
Hoot needs professional help if he really believes what he stated later in this thread.

Good update Hoot.

Didn’t read back thru your situation but why would sole be the best thing for the kiddos; even wih th alienation etc., isn’t it still good for the mother to be involved in their lives my brother?
Last edited by Havalu7 on Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby nr552 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:33 am

I see supervised visits in her future.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Havalu7 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:05 pm

Good call NR552.

Geez Hoot we all hope that these women (and some men) will come around and start getting better.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Havalu7 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:27 pm

Time will tell brother.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:07 am

Keep us posted, Bro. You've been thru a helluva lot.

Tom
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Minerva » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:31 pm

I'm struggling to understand a judge who admits the mother has psychological issues and alienating the children but then lets her have sole decision making for their medical care and religious experience.

I smell an incoming Munchausen by proxy cult in the children's future......
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Campfire » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:48 pm

Minerva wrote:I'm struggling to understand a judge who admits the mother has psychological issues and alienating the children but then lets her have sole decision making for their medical care and religious experience.

I smell an incoming Munchausen by proxy cult in the children's future......



It's quite possible Hoot agreed to this.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Minerva » Tue Dec 05, 2017 4:54 pm

Does your state have a weird aversion to shared custody?
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby Started Over » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:00 pm

I hate seeing the discussion about "alienation" here and in other threads. Having experienced it and having my daughter struggle through depression because of it, I do see the harm that it causes. The problem is that "alienation" has become the new "abuse" in divorce, with one party jumping on to every harsh word the other parent says and shouting "ALIENATION" to the judge at the top of their lungs when, in many cases, it's not that level of concern.

The problem is exacerbated by therapists not understanding the psychological damage of manipulation by one parent to turn against the other. My daughter's therapist was encouraging her to call me by my name and spent every session talking only about how her friends were doing without at any point addressing what I thought was the elephant in the room: "Why do you feel it necessary to call your dad by his name instead of "dad"?" If we can't get therapists to understand it and address it, how can we get judges and guardian ad litem to understand and address it? How can we get legislators to address it.

And inevitably, the reaction of the targeted parent leads to worse problems for the child because the resources just don't exist. Hoot started dating the nanny, which turned his ex into a raging monster, which destroyed a relationship his kids had with that nanny. All problems Hoot could have avoided - Hoot's behavior contributed. But that doesn't make what his ex is doing okay.

I think Washington does a good job recognizing what is called "abusive use of conflict" but not all states have this concept. And so it's really only the people with hundreds of thousands of dollars of spare funds like hoot who can address this while other dads are branded as "dead beats" who don't care about their kids and disappear from their kids' lives because that's what mom wanted - and it was easier to give up than fight.
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Re: Update: Temporary Orders

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:28 am

For those of us going through or finalizing our divorce, this is our biggest fear. I wonder out loud if there is anything we can do to help prevent alienation from even starting? I assume the answer is no for most.
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