EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYER

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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:04 pm

tdever wrote:But i do know this, there is no judge or third party that truly knows what is in the best interests of my children.

Nonsense. You have one's person's perspective on what's best for a child. Judges see thousands of cases and therefore have a better perspective than you do. Your kids are not objectively viewed as the unique little snowflakes that you think they are; nor is your case in any way special. To think otherwise is to ignore the obvious bias on your part, and to render yourself ineffective in arguing your case.
tdever wrote:some of you all think that it is ok that one day your ex, decides hey I don't want to talk to you anymore and I am not going to give you updates as what your children are doing. Well I neither agree nor think that it is ok that she hide behind a attorney.

Tough < feces >. It's not up to you how she chooses to communicate with you. This is America, we have these special little freedoms, the first ten of which come to mind often. Second point is that your decision to live so far away puts you at an informational disadvantage, and you're foolish for expecting her (or anyone else) to take up the slack that you introduced into the equation. You can fix this on you want to sack up and fix it. But it seems clear that you prefer to continue down the path of charade and dance, and aren't happy that we're not clicking our heels and snapping our fingers to the rhythm. We're not your personal echo chamber.
tdever wrote:The best interests of my children are to see there parents be able to get along and coparent and put all the past in the past.

Wrong. It's in their best interest to have two engaged parents in their lives who are around and showing up at soccer matches and cello recitals and scouting trips and school lunchroom surprise lunches and homework help and holding them during their inoculations and teaching them how to clean themselves and on and on.

Living so far away gives license to the next schmuck who gets in their mother's panties who gets to do that stuff more often than you do. And here you sit justifying. Interested in changing that dynamic, or to remain bellyaching about the legal impotence resulting directly from your choice to remove yourself from their proximity?
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:08 pm

So you admit that your real problem is that you don't live near your kids.

I hope you are starting to understand that your problem isn't your ex wife or a judge or family law or best interest of the kids or anything other than your distance from your kids.

Until you fix that nothing will change.

As it stands now, when this is over with all you are going to have is a new long distance parenting plan. You will have minimum time with your kids and your ex wife and her new man will do the majority of raising your kids.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:19 pm

tdever wrote:And my job I work overseas, I travel a whole lot. I always make sure that I am home to see my kids when it is my time. But again, it sounds real easy to get that info, in reality it is not.

Please explain, specifically, how you plan to convince a judge that the best interest of the kids is to move them to your primary custody, 500 miles away from their mother, while you have a time- and travel-demanding job that you clearly take more seriously than your parenting?

I am not try to provoke you...but the judge sees a father who elected to put 500 miles between himself and his kids for his employer.

Do you really think you have a hope in hell? Can you tell what is our opinion on this?
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby tdever » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:39 pm

Trevor wrote:
tdever wrote:And my job I work overseas, I travel a whole lot. I always make sure that I am home to see my kids when it is my time. But again, it sounds real easy to get that info, in reality it is not.

Please explain, specifically, how you plan to convince a judge that the best interest of the kids is to move them to your primary custody, 500 miles away from their mother, while you have a time- and travel-demanding job that you clearly take more seriously than your parenting?

I am not try to provoke you...but the judge sees a father who elected to put 500 miles between himself and his kids for his employer.

Do you really think you have a hope in hell? Can you tell what is our opinion on this?

My opinion on this is that I have never once said that I wanted to take away custody from their mother. the original post was to simply ask a question of wether or not she could have a lawyer do all the parenting for her with me.

As far as my job and really the whole situation you guys on here see what I have told you, not the hundreds of incidents that I am not putting on here. As far as my situation being unique or that some one would allude to my daughters big snowflakes, is laughable. No where did i say i wanted everyone or anyone to agree with me.

As far as me living 500 miles away, i do understand that puts me at a huge disadvantage when it comes down to information and having physical custody of my children. All of you And trust me I do understand that I am not the only one that has been in this situation and thousands of other guys have it much worse than me. But you guys say that I chose my job over my children, not exactly true. I was given a hand and I had to play it. My situation which I will not go into all the details is really of none of your concern. I simply asked for advice about the lawyer situation.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby tdever » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:40 pm

Trevor wrote:
tdever wrote:But i do know this, there is no judge or third party that truly knows what is in the best interests of my children.

Nonsense. You have one's person's perspective on what's best for a child. Judges see thousands of cases and therefore have a better perspective than you do. Your kids are not objectively viewed as the unique little snowflakes that you think they are; nor is your case in any way special. To think otherwise is to ignore the obvious bias on your part, and to render yourself ineffective in arguing your case.

do yo honestly think that a judge knows what is best for my children or yours or anyones elses. 15 minutes a case that person sees and you think they can render a decision who is the better parent when both parents are fit. Iwould argue that a judge by no means knows better than I for my children.

tdever wrote:some of you all think that it is ok that one day your ex, decides hey I don't want to talk to you anymore and I am not going to give you updates as what your children are doing. Well I neither agree nor think that it is ok that she hide behind a attorney.

Tough < feces >. It's not up to you how she chooses to communicate with you. This is America, we have these special little freedoms, the first ten of which come to mind often. Second point is that your decision to live so far away puts you at an informational disadvantage, and you're foolish for expecting her (or anyone else) to take up the slack that you introduced into the equation. You can fix this on you want to sack up and fix it. But it seems clear that you prefer to continue down the path of charade and dance, and aren't happy that we're not clicking our heels and snapping our fingers to the rhythm. We're not your personal echo chamber.
tdever wrote:The best interests of my children are to see there parents be able to get along and coparent and put all the past in the past.

Wrong. It's in their best interest to have two engaged parents in their lives who are around and showing up at soccer matches and cello recitals and scouting trips and school lunchroom surprise lunches and homework help and holding them during their inoculations and teaching them how to clean themselves and on and on.

Living so far away gives license to the next schmuck who gets in their mother's panties who gets to do that stuff more often than you do. And here you sit justifying. Interested in changing that dynamic, or to remain bellyaching about the legal impotence resulting directly from your choice to remove yourself from their proximity?
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:56 pm

You weren't dealt a hand that you had to play.

You had a choice, job or parent, you chose job. And now you are looking to blame everyone and everything else for how your choice is turning out.

I know this all sounds harsh but you need to hear these things and internalize what we are saying.

Look in the mirror, seriously look into a mirror and say to yourself "I chose a job over my kids". Everything should come full circle for you after doing that, it would for me.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:30 pm

tdever wrote:My situation which I will not go into all the details is really of none of your concern. I simply asked for advice about the lawyer situation.

So, are we done here?
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 3:38 pm

Yes she can direct her Attorney to take all her calls from you. If you don't, she could get a RO against you.
She's kinda saying if you don't use the attorney she'll make it official. Then you'll really need an attorney and a bucket of money.

No you wont have a case against her Attorney or her for Contempt. It will flop and you will have your custody changed to suite your location. It is possible that you will loose even more time due to your distance. I'm thinking Summers and some major Holidays. That will be fun.

You can ask for address update and preferred contact information.

I would start looking for a job in SC to be closer to your child.
Change the custody.
Live happily ever after with little to Zero contact from your Stbx/Ex.

Your not hearing people here. She doesn't have to talk to you or give you any information.

Some, no A lot Parallel Parent.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby tdever » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:32 pm

Trevor wrote:
tdever wrote:My situation which I will not go into all the details is really of none of your concern. I simply asked for advice about the lawyer situation.

So, are we done here?

I guess so, I love that people see what you post have a slight idea of what the whole situation is and make snap judgements, as to what it is you think. after reading most of you guys posts this isn't a place to get any advice this is a place so that some people can tell you what they think without knowing what the whole story is.

Appreciate you.
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Re: EX DELEGATES < parenting time > AND UPDATES TO HER LAWYE

Unread postby tdever » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:36 pm

lovingfatherof2 wrote:You weren't dealt a hand that you had to play.

You had a choice, job or parent, you chose job. And now you are looking to blame everyone and everything else for how your choice is turning out.

Yes in the reality of it there was a choice, keep my job or live under a bridge with no job, I fail to see how that would have helped my children or the situation.

I do understand what you are saying. I do understand what the court sees as best interests of the children. that does not mean that it is always right.

I know this all sounds harsh but you need to hear these things and internalize what we are saying.

Look in the mirror, seriously look into a mirror and say to yourself "I chose a job over my kids". Everything should come full circle for you after doing that, it would for me.


And no did not chose a job over my kids. I had no job in SC when all this went down. I won't go into all the things that were lost due to the divorce and litigation. But try telling a family court judge hey I am just going to stay around here even though I have 1600 a month to pay in support but i don't have my job anymore here. So yeah I get what you are saying but it isn't all what you are saying.
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