mom's boyfriend moves in

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

mom's boyfriend moves in

Postby michigandad » Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:55 am

hi all....

in michigan.... been divorced for 3 years.... i have joint physical and legal custody

mom's boyfriend just moved in... kids are young, girl (10), boy ( 8 ), girl (7)... it appears that ex isn't going to marry this guy and i don't think this sets a good example for the kids.... do i have any legal re-course?... to my protest, ex has had sleepover w/boyfriend when kids are present on a sporadic basis... my lawyer said we could file a motion to prevent that - says it's common - but to date, never pursued it.... just didn't want to push it....

kids aren't real happy about boyfriend moving in - they don't think it's right.... and to top it all, mom never really talked to kids or explained to them why he is moving in......

i could care less if she is with the guy or if she marry's him BUT i think it sets a poor example for the kids.... i've confronted ex - she says it's none of my business and doesn't respond when i ask her if she thinks it sets a good example.... i say - "what will you do or say when your oldest girl wants to shack up with the first guy she meets?"... no answer.. i've told her before, if engaged, great - congratulations!.. but she doesn't explain anything to the kids about the sitiuation... you'd think a discussion on love and marriage at the kids level would be appropriate....

i've asked to meet the boyfriend so i can get to know him and will do so next week.... but, should they not be getting married, does anyone know of any legal precedence in the state of michigan for action against ex to prevent the move?... (haven't talked to lawyer yet)... i'd have no problem if same applied to me....

thanks

michigandad
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Postby Pete » Thu Mar 17, 2005 7:33 pm

You will likely have limited, if any, success at this stage of the game in prohibiting a move. barring a scenario where the b.f presents a danger to the children, it would be very difficult.

If there is no wording in your decree prohibiting overnight guests or co-habitation in the absence of marrital relationship, you would have a hard fight.

I agree that it sets a poor example, especially at those kids age, from a moral responsibility standpoint, but that is the shame of any divorce. Kids learn from example, so in this case you will just have lead by better example and hope they see the value in your level of maturity.
Don't worry about what you cannot control. Focus on what is legally relevant, not morally indignant or petty.
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Postby DadInKS » Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:10 pm

Pete wrote:If there is no wording in your decree prohibiting overnight guests or co-habitation in the absence of marrital relationship, you would have a hard fight.


Pete, how common is that? I thought about putting something in, about just that, but I was afraid the judge wouldn't go for it....
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Postby Lawmoe » Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:37 pm

It is not common and in many states cannot be included unless the parties agree to the language.
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Postby DadInKS » Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:41 pm

Lawmoe wrote:It is not common and in many states cannot be included unless the parties agree to the language.



Thanks moe. I wondered about that. I am hoping to get something in there, about overnight stays or something, but I don't know if I'll have much luck....
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Postby Pete » Fri Mar 18, 2005 11:04 pm

It is a so-called morals clause, and is rarely implemented in permanent orders, although if it is at all utilized, I have read of situations where it was placed in temporary orders until a certain point in time while the divorce was in process.

Since the language must be agreed upon, it is often not included.
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Postby pegasus » Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:29 am

That sucks. I am in complete agrrement about the BF moving in. My STBXW moved her INTERNET BF in 8 days after she moved out, with my 8 and 6 year old daughters. She insisted it was the BEST thing for our D's. Well he got sent home(to Canada) a month after because I filed for custody(her lawyer told her he HAD to go). He has come back to visit, and she is going to visit him soon too. I think she plans to move to Canada soon, but don't know. It bites all the way around though.
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