Handwriting on the Wall

Tips on divorce for men considering or starting the divorce process. Get marriage separation tips for men in this divorce forum and child custody forum.

Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby CoDad » Tue Jan 11, 2005 9:53 am

I am starting to feel a little doomed. We have a GAL hearing later this month. When I met with the GAL before X-mas, she had me sign some release forms. I followed up with the school, counselor, etc. to see if they had been contacted yet. None of them have been contacted to date. We have also not had our in house visit yet nor has it been scheduled.

I have a friend who is a Family Counselor who asked me how things are going. I filled him in and he asked who the GAL was. I told him. He said she is known to not like men. I had a gut feeling the few times I spoke with the GAL that was very similar.
Matter of fact, last time we spoke she told me thanks for reminding her our court date is later this month.

I called my attorney a few weeks past and let him know I have a concern. He says to just wait. Give her time to do her job. I gave the GAL 40 plus pages of documented events that are the foundation of my case concerning the children. She comes across as she doesn’t really care. In addition to my journal which is in chronological order by date and neatly typed and spell checked, the people I included to be contacted are school administrators, school teachers, counselors, Sunday school teachers, Doctors, and even another attorney.

I am getting a strong sense of gender bias, or even male hatred by someone who is supposed to be neutral and look out for the interest of the children. I told my attorney that I don’t just want to be walked through this legal process hand in hand to get screwed. I can walk by myself just as easy.

Just going through a tough day with the realization that it may not matter how much time, money, and effort I have spent trying to make my case. I realize there are ups and downs and many more to come. I am just getting a bad feeling. You know, the kind where you can’t sleep, where you realize anything you say or do doesn’t matter to anyone who has the authority to make a recommendation. I guess I am feeling kind of hopeless today.

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby HP » Tue Jan 11, 2005 10:06 am

What was the release for? Did you read what you signed?

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby nuke » Tue Jan 11, 2005 10:12 am

If the eval comes back unfavorable to you, then your attorney's job is to discredit the evaluator and her decision making skills. Ask her to answer to why every one of your points was not important. It is difficult, but not impossible.

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby CoDad » Tue Jan 11, 2005 10:23 am

The release was just to allow the GAL to talk to the people I noted. The release gives them permission to provide the GAL with all pertinent information.

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby CoDad » Tue Jan 11, 2005 10:27 am


My concerns are not that the GAL report/recommendation will be unfavorable to me, but that the GAL will not even address my concerns and issues and follow up with the people and entities I noted.

Again, I could be wrong. I am just getting some feedback from people who know who she is. The information I am receiving does not sound promising at this time.

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby fighting dad » Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:19 am

I feel your pain, our GAL never checked with my daughters counselor, who had daily contact with her because of the turmoil going on in her mothers house...............what I have learned, it is not illegal to treat your kids like crap, so in general they don't care.
fighting dad

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby Captain Jim » Tue Jan 11, 2005 11:40 am

I also learned that it is not illegal to beat your whip your child. My ex even left marks that showed up three days later when he came home. We went straight to the police but were sent home because in our state it isn't illegal to punish a child unless you endanger their life. We were even told that to endanger their life really means the child almost or does die from the act.

Ahhhh yes. This is the system that claims to be putting the child first. It's no wonder they don't think twice about throwing away the kids father.
Captain Jim

Re: Handwriting on the Wall

Unread postby Investigate8 » Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:59 pm


I have dealt with the same problem. I have/had a GAL that was once itching to recommend custody to the ex. The only thing that really turned it around for me was that I was able to provide nuetral 3rd party witnesses.

Keep focused. If the GAL won't talk to your witnesses then your lawyer will have to argue that point later. Don't give up.

Return to Before and During Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Campfire and 8 guests