Known affair

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Known affair

Postby Guitargrinder » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:39 pm

What if a spouse is told by another party of an affair that happened in the past, but doesn't address it with the other spouse. Can the spouse divorce on infidelity 7 months later even though there is proof that the spouse knew of the affair 7 months before filing for divorce?
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Re: Known affair

Postby Anything4Her » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:42 pm

"The spouse" can file anyway she wants. Filing for infidelity is virtually meaningless in a no fault state. It sometimes affects alimony, but that varies state to state.
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Re: Known affair

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:44 pm

And every state is a no fault state.
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Re: Known affair

Postby Trevor » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:46 pm

And hearsay is hearsay in all 50 states.
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Re: Known affair

Postby Guitargrinder » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:50 pm

Is it hearsay if an email exists from the party that informed the spouse of the affair, admitting that they informed the spouse?

The strange piece is that when the spouse found out about the affair, instead of addressing it, the spouse dedicated more to the marriage to make it great. But then decided months later that they couldn't move on knowing that the affair happened.
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Re: Known affair

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:50 pm

Could you? Probably. In VA at least...you could file Fault Based with infidelity as the grounds. However, as Anything4her said...the grounds are only likely to impact alimony.

Guitargrinder wrote:Is it hearsay if an email exists from the party that informed the spouse of the affair, admitting that they informed the spouse?

The strange piece is that when the spouse found out about the affair, instead of addressing it, the spouse dedicated more to the marriage to make it great. But then decided months later that they couldn't move on knowing that the affair happened.


This is just my $.02...sitting on the information for seven months is...in my opinion...equal to forgiving the spouse. This is evidence by the spouse that received the information putting more work into the marriage. I think (again...my opinion) that you'd have a tough time convincing a judge that the affair was your reason for wanting a divorce when you didn't see a problem continuing to live with, have relations, improve things, etc. for seven months.
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Re: Known affair

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:18 pm

Seems like a big dance over nothing. No one cares why two people get divorced except maybe one of the two people.

While one party concerns themselves with the why the other party is usually concerning themselves with the what, as in what they are getting out of the divorce.
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Re: Known affair

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:26 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:Seems like a big dance over nothing. No one cares why two people get divorced except maybe one of the two people.

While one party concerns themselves with the why the other party is usually concerning themselves with the what, as in what they are getting out of the divorce.


Yup. The only reason I filed Fault Based is that was the only way I could get a relief hearing to get money out of the NJ before the year mark. I would imagine that most people (regardless of the reason for the divorce) file no fault to just get it over with.
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Re: Known affair

Postby soccer rocker » Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:31 pm

I know lots of people that try to forgive and can't. 7 months doesn't seem like all that long a time. Some people say they forgive but its obvious they haven't.

But I still don't get what all the fuss is about in a no-fault world. Seems like throwing fuel on a fire.
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