Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby disneydad » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:20 am

I had no idea this would get 3 pages of replies. LOL

She has exclusive use and posession of the house. When I moved out, our agreement said I could take my clothes, work stuff, personal items, and whatever else we agreed on. We had to go to court following just the TEMPORARY so I could get a bed, a ratty old couch, a table and chairs, some pots and pans, etc because she agreed to ZERO! When I moved out she changed the locks. When the realtor was getting ready to list our house (post temporary) STBX let me in the house to talk over staging, etc with the realtor, but did not want me in the bedroom. That's the backstory.

Frankly, the housing market sucks for sellers anyway, and rather than take a loss I'm considering asking for the house in the final. She's already said she doesn't want it anyway. I can certainly refinance it to get it in just my name. Not looking forward to what she'll leave behind in the house if it comes to that, though.

So I'm torn between working as a team with her to sell the house and setting a precedent for when she wants a little man help with things. And to top it off she just went to the dr for "stress related symptoms" and talks about her cardiologist not allowing her to do yard work. Maybe I don't want a judge looking at me and saying "She had heart issues and you couldn't even help out by cutting the grass". Oy.
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:31 am

[quote ] heart issues [/quote]

You should agree to cut the grass.

Then hide in the bushes and scare the < feces > out of her when she comes out the door.

If she doesn't fall over dead you can claim you were just there by her agreement to cut the grass and she is falsely accusing you of trying to kill her.
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby BubbaGumpShrimp » Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:37 am

disneydad wrote:I had no idea this would get 3 pages of replies. LOL

She has exclusive use and posession of the house. When I moved out, our agreement said I could take my clothes, work stuff, personal items, and whatever else we agreed on. We had to go to court following just the TEMPORARY so I could get a bed, a ratty old couch, a table and chairs, some pots and pans, etc because she agreed to ZERO! When I moved out she changed the locks. When the realtor was getting ready to list our house (post temporary) STBX let me in the house to talk over staging, etc with the realtor, but did not want me in the bedroom. That's the backstory.

Frankly, the housing market sucks for sellers anyway, and rather than take a loss I'm considering asking for the house in the final.
She's already said she doesn't want it anyway. I can certainly refinance it to get it in just my name. Not looking forward to what she'll leave behind in the house if it comes to that, though.

So I'm torn between working as a team with her to sell the house and setting a precedent for when she wants a little man help with things. And to top it off she just went to the dr for "stress related symptoms" and talks about her cardiologist not allowing her to do yard work. Maybe I don't want a judge looking at me and saying "She had heart issues and you couldn't even help out by cutting the grass". Oy.



She needs to fork over the money for a yard service then. As the others said (when I had my head in my < hindquarters >)...exclusive use of the property = exclusive responsibility for maintaining it. That being said...if she isn't doing that...you do have a vested interest to ensure that the lawn gets cut. If your ex is a NJ like mine, she'd process that if she didn't pay for something...I would just pick up the slack, because I have to (otherwise there's HOA fines in the case of overgrown lawns).

Ask for the house and rent it out. That's what I'm planning on doing (it's my house anyways...just a matter of time until I get back in it). I wouldn't consider living in it again. It would only be a matter of time until her nutty < hindquarters > showed up and slashed my tires or something.

**** her. You can't boot a guy out of his house and then turn around and tell him to mow the lawn. Yeah...if I were down near the NJ...that's exactly the kind of $h1t she'd have pulled with me.
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby Chris A » Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:07 am

Fatheroffour wrote:[quote ] heart issues


You should agree to cut the grass.

Then hide in the bushes and scare the < feces > out of her when she comes out the door.

If she doesn't fall over dead you can claim you were just there by her agreement to cut the grass and she is falsely accusing you of trying to kill her.[/quote]


Lol. Best advice.

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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby defaultuser » Sat Jul 14, 2012 5:37 pm

disneydad wrote:She has exclusive use and posession of the house.
So this is not your responsibility.

disneydad wrote: she changed the locks
So she obviously doesn't want you there.
disneydad wrote:So I'm torn between working as a team with her to sell the house and setting a precedent for when she wants a little man help with things. And to top it off she just went to the dr for "stress related symptoms" and talks about her cardiologist not allowing her to do yard work. Maybe I don't want a judge looking at me and saying "She had heart issues and you couldn't even help out by cutting the grass". Oy.
I think you should consider your future.

You may choose to live your life where you respond to your wife, or ex-wife's wants and needs because she will ask in a way where it benefits you to do this for her. What are you going to do in a year when she can't pay her rent and says that if you don't help her out she'll have to move into her creepy BF's house with your kid in tow? What are you going to do when her car breaks down 50 miles from home with your kid in the back seat and she asks for help?

No right answer, but if you don't want to be her personal tool, you gotta say no, or maybe, "If you can't handle the house, I'd be happy to move in and take over. Shall I have my attorney draft the agreement?" or, "I'm sorry you ran out of gas 100 miles from home with no money. Would you like me to come pick up the kid so she doesn't have to see you fail?"

BTW, this thread is popular because we've all been there. It took me a couple years to stop helping the X out. It took a couple more for her to stop asking...
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby disneydad » Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:37 am

Update: just drove by earlier this week and the grass was cut. LOL. So whether or not she owns up to it falling on her plate, she got it done.
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby jumbledone » Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:37 am

Maybe you'll be getting a bill from the city. :S
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby Trevor » Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:38 pm

or the HOA
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby Thoughts? » Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:33 pm

Or someone else got a "mow with a happy ending."'
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Re: Am I petty or should I cut the grass?

Postby Trevor » Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:34 pm

Now that was funny. A mow job.
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