defaultuser wrote:That's the whole problem with our society. If they didn't gain ownership of your income by having a child or staying married long enough to collect alimony, they would pay more attention to you and stay.
Because the laws give them long term benefits, they don't need you anymore and can go find someone else to get those benefits from. That, along with a society that tells them they are entitled motivates them to leave. A woman can do pretty well for herself by 30 if she gets divorced a few times to the right men.
Briffault's Law is a dirty little secret. Typically when a man learns of it, a light comes on and it explains so much of their personal experience.
But it flys in the face of the feminist agenda. Choice? Poor women folk had suffered centuries of oppression at the hand of patriarchy - and now need equality - because they had no choice. She never had a choice, she was historically stuck with her abusive controlling husband because she had no alternative - it's was a man's world. We need to empower women because so many are otherwise helpless and cannot choose. If that means alimony and child support, a wyman has earned it from her in-kind contributions to her marriage.
A comment from my personal experience. My ex did not leave because I stopped providing benefit - quite the opposite. At some point, my previously purposeful behavior which provided her reward simply becomes habit to her. I went home with a waitress who lived on a small income, drove a small car, had a small apartment, and wore a small bra size. With her choice of association with me, she enjoyed a large income, drove a large car, had a large house and wore a large bra size.
One day she woke up and thought - Hey, if this is what my girlie stuff can earn from this dude, I wonder what it is worth on the open market?
It was her choice.
Perhaps the perfect example of this is addiction. At first the substance produces an intense rush of euphoria. But quickly the body begins to habituate and requires increasing dosages to produce decreasing effects. Over time, the baseline physical/emotional condition changes so that instead of beginning state of "normal" and being moved to a state of "euphoria", the lack of the substance produes withdrawal symptoms which are uncomfortable.
My ex was getting the benefits - at increasing levels - but she thought she deserved more; she was an attention addict. My attentiveness wasn't enough, but it was expected and was the baseline for "normal". Her bigger, better deal was always for more attention "euphoria".
Over the years I have observed a great many women who cannot make the connection between their actions in this moment and the consequences in the next. Because they cannot make this cause-effect connection, they blame/explain everything on mystical magic forces operating in the world - like patriarcy, abuse and controlling. Understanding this, and Briffault's Law, explains everything from why women tend to be so ineffective, to why they refuse to take responsibility, to their absolute insane demands in a divorce.
They really do view what men accomplish as magical and thus have no concept of the amount of effort it takes. Deep in their little pea-brain that so many of them possess, they think we make things happen by waving our magic dicks. So that when we don't do what they want because we can't, because it's too much work, they attribute it to malice on our part and our deliberate witholding of their benefits.