kmich91262 wrote:My first (and has always been) and most important goal is getting S8 back on track for school. Although the school hasn't and won't make a decision until a psych eval is done on S8, he missed 40 days total and wasn't able to do the homework the last 14 days of school since they wouldn't allow him in....so looks like IMO he has failed. The school kind of irks me because the school board won't make a decision until the eval is done. WTF?!?!? Lets just admit the kid has failed and would be in his best interest after missing all of that time to hold him back....just saying.
The second goal, which I would have to say is tied with the first one for importance, is making sure S8 gets/has the needed help from mental health professionals.
As far as custody is concerned, NJ has demostrated the past three school years she can't get S8 to school on her weeks on a regular basis nor has control of her residence (i.e. S8 runs the household). The school has stated to my attorney that it is evident that while with me homework gets done, S8 is there on a consistent basis, and I have a stabile home life. With that being said during the school year, for the best interest of S8, it would be best if he stays with me during the school week and she gets every other week or I would toss a bone in and do 3-4 weekends a month (4th weekend when there are 5 weekends in a month). During the summer would be willing to go with every other week which is what we have thru the calendar year anyways. Everything else I would suggest keeping the same as the current parenting plan such as holidays, breaks, and summer vacation time.
I think this is your problem. Your goal is to
A) have your kid do well in school
B) get mentally healthy
What is the root cause of these problems? You state it very clearly in your third paragraph. NJ. My guess is that your kid wouldn't need a mental health professional if your X wasn't in the picture.
You're trying to treat the symptoms, not the cause. The cause of the problem is that your former wife is incapable of doing a half way decent job of parenting. The solution and your goal should be to get custody, but you're approaching the problem from a standpoint of trying to fix the symptoms.
Have you filed a petition for modification asking for primary custody? The significant change in circumstances is all of the above. Don't go into the hows or whys. Focus on what is. This is pretty simple in your case and relatively easy to present clear evidence on. Your former wife can't function as a parent. You can. Best interest shouldn't be too hard here.
Edit: I'm not advocating taking your X out of the picture. I'm saying your goal should be to take over the primary duties of being a parent so that her relationship with your kid can improve. Regular and continuing contact? Yes. Best taken on weekends, and summer. Like every other weekend.