Hey Ed -
My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you. I feel your pain.
Bubba obviously has not experienced the psychological damage done to children from P.A. I have a stepdaughter that has been abused in this way - while we have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and been "successful" in obtaining custody, having the mother be supervised etc.; in the Michigan courts (we live in Illinois but have kept this in the Michigan courts as that is where we won custody) they feel that since the child is 14 she is old enough to talk to her mother whenever she wants. The result? Her grades have nose-dived from all As and Bs and she wants nothing to do with us or her little 1/2 brother and sister. She is in trouble at school (we sent her to a boarding school because her behavior became intolerable and she was pitting her younger 1/2 siblings against each other and against us -their mom and dad) and she is now grounded to her dorm.
Fact of the matter is that judges and courts do not believe in completely removing a parent from a child - even if a parent will do nothing but cause damage to the child.
That is a brief synopsis without going into the 12 years of agony we have been through, but I have a feeling I don't have too - I have a feeling you know exactly what I am talking about. Our case is a severe one...FII (Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy), allegations of rape etc. Fortunately, our marriage has survived intact and we have hung together in the storm.
I will pray that your children get therapy and decide to bring you into their lives...hard to know when it comes to brain-washing that begins when children are small. We still have custody; however, her mother testified in court that if "Suzy" (fake name to protect the identity) gets pregnant in high school she will support her decisions. So that seems to be the mother's plan now...encourage the minor child to get pregnant in high school so the mother can do this battle all over again with another father and another child (she is too old now to get pregnant herself).
Hang in there and pray!