Hello to all here,
It is my first time posting on here as I have been following this site on and off for a few months now. I initially came across this site seeking information for my brother, who has a child with a woman that our family doesn't approve of (long story) and now I've been coming on here more often as I am now having an affair with a married man with a child; it's not my brightest nor proudest moment, but the heart can definitely play tricks on all of us and I have certainly not been the exception.
With all that said, here's my story: I am having an affair with a co-worker; he is 35 years old and I am 30 years old. His wife is 25 years old and she is a high school teacher in NYC and currently studying for a Master's degree. My guy tells me that she neglects him (sexually, emotionally, etc.), she's insanely jealous, she checks his phone every day, that they are always arguing, his family and many of his friends have literally turned their backs on him because they never liked her and she has apparently only gotten worse after my guy and her were married. Anytime he wants to do anything with his family and/or friends, he has to do it without her. Of course, I am aware that he may be exaggerating and even lying; I understand all of those implications. However, through conversations with some of our colleagues, I have been able to corroborate that a lot of the things he has told me are true. Things between them got really bad to the point that he was mapping out a divorce and only stepped back because he was not able to sell his apartment, therefore he could not count on that extra $$$.
I know he is unhappy and that he wants out. We are both at similar stages in our life, age-wise, career-wise and mature-wise, we both care deeply for each other and want to remain in each other's lives. Now I ask you guys here, what are my guy's options given the following info that I know about him:
1) He owns the apartment where he lives with his wife and 2 year old daughter. He bought it before they were married.
2) They have been married for about 3 years.
3) She is a HS teacher in NYC studying for her master's (paid for through a fellowship program that she's in) and makes about $55-65K
4) He makes about 95k + bonus
5) They do not have any major debts; he's told me all credit cards are paid off, his only major expense is his mortgage.
6) His wife's parents live nearby in a big house w/swimming pool.
7) His main concern is always his daughter (as it should be) and I would be willing to accomodate my life so that he can always be near his daughter and see her whenever he wants. I know that there is potential for lots of drama.
8)This is all in NYC (Brooklyn)...how much does a divorce cost on average? Will he be totally screwed over with child support? Is it true that if he lives close to his daughter and has shared custody, will his child support payments be lower?
I appreciate any advice anyone on here can provide and hoped not to be judged too harshly.