capslock wrote:Trevor has brought up really good points.
Sounds like you should just say happy anniversary, buy her an xl neglige, and ______ the heck out of her. It does wonders as an attitude adjustment.
It's a shame how the mind works sometimes. I do believe it is deep in humans' dna to want to move on and spread our genes around. At the same time, if you can save the marraige that would be best for your daughter.
Trevor wrote:No one I know whose parents "stayed together for the kids" appreciates that and got no benefit from it. You are right that kids living in a toxic environment don't fare better than ones raised with two household that are happier.
Your use of the phrase "boogeyman called divorce" suggests to me that you aren't looking deeply enough at the implications and impacts of real divorce on real people. This is not about superficial rubbish like people's opinions of you or the child worrying about how to explain it to her little friends. There is no longer a stigma to divorce except in little pockets of America who will never see any good reason to divorce, not even abuse or violence or addiction.
This is about real change to your kid's everyday life, and a lot of it won't be pleasant, especially if her mother reacts with venom and vengeance, as often happens. Yes, you have to make a decision and stick with it, and other people will also be forever changed because of it, so again, you'd better make damn sure this isn't about some chick or some notion that the grass is greener on another meadow.
I need time to adjust and get myself some new goals and a new direction as a newly single dad (I won't say a divorced dad). Dating will come in time but heck, I am looking to spend time becoming the best ME I can be and sharing that with those I love (my daughter, other family, friends, etc).
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