How do I get this divorce over with?

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How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:46 am

So me and my wife have been separated about 2 1/2 years now. I waited the 1 year period to file because we have children (standard for Virginia), then filed, and my wife contested it because she wants money now that she doesn't have her gravy train. This has been extremely rough on me and we've tried to come to some kind of agreement just so I can be done with, and done with her (she cheated on me, which is why we separated in the first place). However, I think she's stalling, because due to me being in the military, she still gets benefits until we're divorced. I can't seem to get a straight answer out of my lawyer about when the courts are actually going to do something, either. I think it's nuts that I'm basically forced to stay married to this woman because she doesn't want the divorce, and wanted to contest it, even though she cheated. Is my lawyer just not doing what he needs to do to get it done? I just want this over with!! Where do I go from here?
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby golfdad » Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:49 am

The only advice I can give you is to that it's very difficult to get a quick divorce when only one person wants a quick divorce.

The lawyers like the long drawn out divorce as it lines their pockets. So asking your lawyer to speed it up is fruitless.

It goes back to the one thought that struck me as gold. "the person who cares the least in a relationship, has the most power."

If you can find it in you to not give a rats < edited > about her and the divorce & let it play out. You'll be much happier.

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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:19 am

I think the problem is with your attorney - he seems to fail to communicate with you.

Get a new attorney.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby Hawaii50 » Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:50 pm

In VA, you file a fault divorce (her cheating) and you will have a guaranteed date.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:01 pm

Hawaii50 wrote:In VA, you file a fault divorce (her cheating) and you will have a guaranteed date.


Initially, I filed no-fault because I figured that would make things go smoother and I just wanted to get it done with, but when she contested it, my lawyer re-filed it as a fault divorce. But I don't have a date though :(
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby jj22441 » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:17 pm

Initially, I filed no-fault because I figured that would make things go smoother and I just wanted to get it done with, but when she contested it, my lawyer re-filed it as a fault divorce. But I don't have a date though :([/quote]

I'm also in virgina PW county.

How do you not have a date? Should be very simple.

If you need a new attorney and live in fairfax, stafford, or PW. send me a PM and I can at very least give you my attorney's info. She is reasonable with payment schedulues and fights for you in court.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:20 pm

jj22441 wrote:Initially, I filed no-fault because I figured that would make things go smoother and I just wanted to get it done with, but when she contested it, my lawyer re-filed it as a fault divorce. But I don't have a date though :(


I'm also in virgina PW county.

How do you not have a date? Should be very simple.

If you need a new attorney and live in fairfax, stafford, or PW. send me a PM and I can at very least give you my attorney's info. She is reasonable with payment schedulues and fights for you in court.[/quote]

I'm in Hampton :(
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Tue May 01, 2012 3:13 pm

I just spoke to my lawyer, and while my wife keeps claiming that her lawyer is working on a settlement agreement, there has been zero movement on her side. I asked my lawyer, well, when does the court move on it and take action? He told me never. He said the courts essentially let the parties handle it, and a divorce could drag on for 20 years (!) if the couple can't agree on a settlement. That can't possibly be right, can it?
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue May 01, 2012 3:19 pm

One party has to be proactive in scheduling hearings and getting in front of a judge and moving the case along. If the other party is clearly being obstructionist then attorneys fees can be assigned. Once that happens, few people are willing to pay both sides attorneys fees to fight with them self.

But , yeah, the court doesnt care and will only rule on the motion put before it.
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Re: How do I get this divorce over with?

Postby GHK » Tue May 01, 2012 3:24 pm

According to my lawyer though, nothing can really be done at this point. Is he just being lazy, or not wanting to do anything, or what? How do I get him to get off his butt and do something for me to get the ball rolling? Or do I just need to find another one?
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