Ex's new baby

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Ex's new baby

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:43 pm

My divorce was final on 1/4/2012.

Today my ex had a baby from the guy she was seeing as we were going through a divorce. I'm happy for her and for the fact that due to the stresses that go along with having a newborn, I will likely have more time with D3. I welcome more time. As a matter of fact, I have already been enjoying time with D3 outside of my parenting time. I document every time I have her.

Aside from continuing to see her as much as I can and documenting the things we do together as well as documenting the NJ's actions, what else should I expect from this new phase?

This isn't NJ's first go 'round. But it is her boyfriend's. If he isn't perfect on everything, I already know that he will be heavily criticized and constantly corrected. Should I expect added drama from NJ?

I know I do not play much of a role in the new baby's life - especially right off the bat. In the future when D3 is older and close friends with "new baby", I might find myself hanging with the 2 of them together. I don't care as long as my daughter is with me.

Should I do anything other than extend a simple congrats and focus all my energy on D3?

What are the benefits - custody improvement wise - that I have going into this new phase of D3 having a new sibling?
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby defaultuser » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:46 pm

You have D3 with you now as the X is in the hospital, right?

Sending goodwill her way doesn't usually come back to bite you as long as you don't get suckered into doing favors for her or whatever.
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:49 pm

Should I do anything other than extend a simple congrats and focus all my energy on D3?




Sounds like a well thought out plan. I concur.

Chances are pretty fair she'll have another custody situation pretty soon on the horizon. Use now to build up your time, document, document, document and make it extremely easy for her to pawn off kiddo to you for any reason whatsoever.
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:53 pm

I do not have D3 with me right now. I do have it saved in text that I have asked her for the past 2 days to have her tonight and tomorrow night. I have her this thursday - sun either way.

I assume that D3 and NJ and "new baby" will be staying at NJ's moms house for a while. I guess since NJ will be there I can't use ROFR. ROFR in my agreement states that the other party has ROFR if the time is for more than one overnight.
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:35 pm

So since NJ had a C-section, she must stay in the hospital for several days. I know that D3 will not be spending the night at the hospital. I have texted requesting to have D3 tonight and tomorrow. I have also asked where is D3 staying.


NJ has not answered me. I want D3 to stay with me. If she just ignores me - rejecting my ROFR - what do I do? Just document and move on?
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby aero_8 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:09 pm

Find out where your daughter is and go get her. Document that NJ didn't respond. Take a witness, and a recorder. Call the cops if there's any drama.
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby SmokinMeanRibz » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:29 pm

Today and tonight is not technically my night to have D3. However, I know for a fact that she is in the hospital because she gave birth via C-section today.

She has known about the surgery for months. Our MSA states that "any parent that is unwilling or UNABLE to care for the child must contact the other parent and offer them the opportunity as long as it is more than one overnight." Tonight and tomorrow night is more than one overnight. She has not and probably will not contact me to care for D3.

Technically she is not going by the MSA. I have even politely stated on 3 occasions that I would like to have D3 on the nights that she will be in the hospital. No response.

I am just going to document that I reached out and that NJ did not comply with the MSA by offering me the opportunity to care for D3 when she was unable. Is that right?

It is NJ's parenting time so I cannot just go find D3 and take her.
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Re: Ex's new baby

Postby Fatheroffour » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:41 pm

Yes, that i correct. Going to pick up the child could easily backfire.

Mom has grandma watching D and bringing her to the hospital in the evening to see mommy and new baby squid then a night at grammy's and back to the hospital to see mommy and squid again. SmokinRibz swoops in on a dojo storm to whisk away D back to his cave, citing something about an ROFR violation and "not in personal care".

I do not see that going over too well.
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