New and lost

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New and lost

Postby Tony1mr » Fri Feb 24, 2012 4:56 pm

Hello all... I'm joining the club here soon and discovered this site. It seems to be very helpful and insightful. I've read the list and understand that these steps are very important. My only question is, what if I can't do all of these things, or even half of them? I realize that I'm a guy/father and won't get a fair treatment by the courts. That’s why I’m here… Here’s a little about my situation..
I'll be married 3 years next July. I moved "here" (Moved from another state) and left everything behind to get married... blaaa... It's funny what love will do. Now there's not so much love in the relationship. Everything we own is basically hers... The house and everything in it except for the things i moved here with. The only thing we have in our name is our Van... The other 2 cars are in her name (she made me sell mine). I only make 32 a year and she makes 76 a year. She's been married 3 times before me and has kids from each dad (a total of four kids from them). What a mistake it was or poor judgment by me.. The mistake I didn't make is my 23 month old little girl. My stbx says she'll work with me yotta yotta yotta... But if i blink an eye wrong she'll throw all of my stuff on the lawn and kick me out because it's her house ( I have witnesses for each time also). I don't make much and a lawyer is hard to pay for if I’m kicked out with nowhere to go. My family and friends live to far away so no luck there... She can afford to go out a get a lawyer and sock it to me and that’s messed up. We have a very good tax return coming xx,xxx amount and I know that she'll use it against me. What do I do?? Am I out of luck? I have a couple of questions about the list also..
How do I stay in the marital residents if I feel unsafe?? She could file a false claim and so on.. And I hate having the kids see us when we fight... It's just not good for them.
What if I don't have time to write a journal? How do I live there long enough to get one going? Although I do have some things documented and witnesses to these occasions.
I feel she holds all the cards. I have no money and the house is in her name.. Am I really in that bad of shape?? It sure feels like it and she has my confidents so low i feel lost and unsecure.. HELP!!
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Re: New and lost

Postby jamessick » Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:03 pm

Apply the parts of the List that apply to your situation. The digital recorder is your protection from false DV charges. Study up on the law as best you can, because going pro se is always an option. What state are you in? There may be pro bono lawyers available to you. Stick around, there's more coming.
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Re: New and lost

Postby Tony1mr » Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:11 pm

Thanks for the reply... I'll definatly be sticking around.
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Re: New and lost

Postby CCR » Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:34 pm

"She's been married 3 times before me and has kids from each dad (a total of four kids from them) The mistake I didn't make is my 23 month old little girl."

So she has 5 kids between 4 dads. Sounds like she has 3 child support orders and you will be #4.

The next time she fills out any kind of form that asks what she does for a living, she might as well say "child support collector."

By the way, you won't be the last. As the kids "age out" of the system, she will need additional revenue.

Sorry, but I know someone like her...and it irks me. It happens to be my cousin. She has children from a physician, attorney, accountant and police officer. The kids are all spaced a few years apart to maximize "earnings."
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Re: New and lost

Postby Fatheroffour » Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:59 pm

How do I stay in the marital residents if I feel unsafe


However you do it, do it with the knowledge that if she gets you out of the house before a parenting plan is signed by the court, she wins.

Considering her prior experience in the matter, I'd say you are way behind the learning curve. Get to reading.
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Re: New and lost

Postby NewReality » Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:13 pm

Wow, have you come to the right place.

A great melding of SuperDad powers to fight the Dark Lord Darth Collectivus I see
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Re: New and lost

Postby Chris A » Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:48 pm

Snoop around on Craig's list for roommates or rooms to rent. Keep your recorder running all the time the list is made for girls like that and yes she has experience and will probably kick your butt. But without a plan and goals you truly will feel lost. Start asking specific questions there are smart peeps here who can help.
“Women can fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”
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Re: New and lost

Postby Tony1mr » Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:15 pm

What kind of recorder?? How do I hide it from her and keep it close enough without her noticing?? Who has done this and what's you technique? I just found out she's having our income tax put into her personal acct... :x did I also mention she has an eighteen year old daughter that let's her guy friends stay the night? She's had 3 different ones in the past three months. What's bad, is this guy her daughter's with no, she only knew him for 2 weeks. It's not good for the kids and it doesn't set a good example. Not to mention we don't even know him. Also, she jus started letting them drink in her daughters bedroom. That is a big no no! But she won't listen to me. We could get into legal trouble if something happend.
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Re: New and lost

Postby Fatheroffour » Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:20 pm

I think many of the guys are using either flash drive mp3 recorders that are just a key fob and don't attract any attention or apps on their smart phones.

Or both.
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Re: New and lost

Postby Chris A » Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:28 pm

Radio shack and Walmart have some. Also check in the technology section of the forums they are talking about some.
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