Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.


Postby briang1969 » Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:50 am

My ex and I have been divorced now for over a year and things are okay. The one area that she just drives me insane is finances. My first complaint is that when we first divorced we imputed income of $2400 gross on to her. She was not working...however she is now making much more than that. I am paying her $1000 in alimony per month until June of 2012 and I pay $650 per month in CS for my two daughters plus 30% of my bonuses. We have a 40/60 timeshare split. Her with 60. In June of 2012 the CS goes up to $800 per month and the alimony goes away. I pay for all of the girls' insurance and out of pocket medical expenses. The only thing that we have in our agreement that we split outside of child support is extra curricular activities and as mentioned I pay their medical and dental.

I have always tried to do what is right for my girls. I buy shoes for them for school. School supplies. Clothing. You name it. Gymnastics. Swimming. Birthday parties.

I guess my problem is....She will nickel and dime me to death. She always wants $20 for a field trip for school. $15 for a gift for the teacher. $25 for a friend of hers that watches the girls after school...on her time...not mine. I have recently just started telling her no...I have already given you more than half when I provide you CS for the 60% of the time you have the kids. I have also pointed out that no one gives me a nickel when I have them. I have enrolled the girls in gymnastics for $125 per month. I provide transportation. She refuses to split the cost of this. Yet will than turn around and say...one of my daughters needs new shoes and that I should pay half. I barely have enough to get by some months. I keep telling her that the only written agreement we have to share anything is extracurricular activities...she just ignores it. Last year when she was paying for aftercare, I did not mind helping out. But she is getting that for free now. I know some of this sounds fairly trivial, but it just gets to a point wherein I am sick of it. Am I wrong? Knowing that she is making a significant amount more of monthly income grounds for revising CS? or is this just opening a can of worms? I just feel like she is getting

The other aspect of this is that she stops getting alimony in June of 2012. She has had sole possession and use of our marital home. She gets to stay there until December 31st 2012. At that time we either sell it...she buys it...or I buy it. She refuses to get moving. The clock is ticking. She waffles back and forth between selling and buying. We split all repair expenses. I gave her money to replace a failing AC unit...in August and she has done nothing. I purchased a dishwasher for her and she had agreed to fix several other items in return. She has done nothing. I have no told her I am not giving her a nickel for any repairs whatsoever until she has met her obligation to split these costs.

The other thing is she is, by our agreement supposed to take on a AMEX bill that she had run up. It was in both of our names. Last year she took her name off of the bill leaving it solely in my name. She has been making the payments...but I have to pay it first and than she repays me so that I can make sure that it is paid on time. She is horrible about paying me back. Do I have any recourse or am I just screwed?

I do not mean to sound bitter...but I am..
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Re: CS

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:59 am

Am I wrong? Knowing that she is making a significant amount more of monthly income grounds for revising CS? or is this just opening a can of worms?

No, you are not wrong. Yes, you have sufficient reason for recalculating support is she is making more and , yes, it could be a can of worms.
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Re: CS

Postby jumbledone » Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:04 am

Tell her that those expenses are hers to bear. You are already paying CS, and that, from my understanding, covers things like clothes, etc. So she wants D to get a friend a gift? Fine, she can pay for it. Don't pay for things that are outside of the MSA.

Childcare costs are another thing. There is no Her/Mine time. Children need care, and you are both to provide it. However, I would want receipts - it's tax-deductible. Plus at that point it should be nothing more than percentage of money you earn vs what she earns. Also, is this someplace where you can have the kids for an extra hour or two a week, by stepping in and taking that time? Would your work schedule allow that? I am all for trying to get more time with kids.

Depending upon your state, I would also look to file for reduced CS based upon a better income for her. If the state looks at both parents' incomes while determining CS, it will save you a bundle.

It also appears you don't have a right to know what is going on with the house until 12/31/2012 - a full year away. Frustrating, but if that is what is in the MSA...
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Re: CS

Postby matt_ » Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:10 pm

Wow, the sooner you untangle yourself from her financially, the better. You should be able to write a check each month in an amount specified in a separation agreement, and that is it.

In my state, child support is supposed to cover clothing and other minor expenses you describe. Anything beyond that has to be mutually agreed upon if costs are to be shared.

It is great that you can get along with her, but sharing things like household repairs is an unnecessary entanglement to keep up.
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Re: CS

Postby gotkids » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:30 pm

Wow, the sooner you untangle yourself from her financially, the better. You should be able to write a check each month in an amount specified in a separation agreement, and that is it.


You've tangled yourself up, and need to resolve it.

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