Final payment coming soon....

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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:56 pm

i'm not sure I follow, if you have a stipulated agreement, and its covered in the agreement, why should there be a misalignment of expectations? Why do you need to provide copies of anything, she is required to prove you did not fulfill your obligations not you to ensure you prove you did. Her time to ask those questions have passed, unless someone isn't following the agreement. ....
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby TJinCA » Thu Jan 04, 2018 6:09 pm

nr552 wrote:I really feel no obligation to pay her a dime more than the order. She can take me to court over it, I have all the documentation for it. I wanted to know if there was any "legal" notification I need to give her. I like idea, and had intended to stop the last direct deposit, then mail her a check for the current payment + the LAST payment with a "payment in full" written on the memo line of the check (registered mail, signature required, etc).


When you say "stipulated agreement" in your original post, I assume you mean that the two of you came to an agreement, had it written up, signed by each of you (and attorneys) and signed/filed by the judge as a stipulated judgment. That makes your agreement an order of the court.

I think the only legal notification required was the court orders, which she surely received and can read as well as you. If you've fulfilled your obligation under the plain language of the order and can, if necessary, demonstrate that to the court's satisfaction then I think you're done.

That said, if providing her notification as a courtesy will help avoid argument, it's worth the effort. Just be sure it's clear that it's notification, not asking her permission or opening negotiations.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby nr552 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 7:24 pm

The stipulated agreement we came up with was then a signed order by the judge/court, sorry for the confusion.

"I'll underscore the value of TJ's suggestion to enclose a simple spreadsheet of payment dates, amounts, and (if appropriate) diminishing balance at each entry." -- I can provide that very spreadsheet, it's already made/done.

"Try to use an overall pleasant tone, to the effect of "it's been a pleasure doing business with you, good bye and good luck"." <--- I think the pleasant tone would come across like me being a sarcastic a-hole.. LOL, but I get what you are saying. My ex isn't the brightest light bulb in the store, and I know she'll flip a lid either way, I just want to get the legal side of things covered.

If I really don't need to provide her anything-- LEGALLY, I'm thinking a simple "paid in full" will ring better than a full disclosure statement-- and here's why. IF, I have made any mistakes in my calculations, I don't want to give her or her attorney any ammo. My thoughts on it-- I completed my obligation, here's your last payment. That's it. If she wants to complain, she can complain to her attorney (costing her Dad $$), and I'll explain/provide (if requested) information to her attorney, and be done with it.

I know other guys have an "end date" on things, I am just trying to cover all the bases on the legal front.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby Minerva » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:03 am

I have a relative that worked in child support for many years. You need an order for child support for or against you even if it is just for the minimum (most states are like $50/month). Not having an order opens you up to a whole bunch of legal risk that she can get back payments or the state can go after you if she signs up for welfare.

I'll echo what the other people said, if you have the money give her a few hundred extra to make the other problem go away.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby nr552 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:22 pm

Minerva wrote:I have a relative that worked in child support for many years. You need an order for child support for or against you even if it is just for the minimum (most states are like $50/month). Not having an order opens you up to a whole bunch of legal risk that she can get back payments or the state can go after you if she signs up for welfare.

I'll echo what the other people said, if you have the money give her a few hundred extra to make the other problem go away.


We have a $zero child support order. The previous order has been vacated/removed, I am the primary parent, 86%, and according to the dissomaster which is what they use, the child support order would be my ex paying me approx. $130-140 a month, but I agreed to not ask for it (then). I could come back at any time to request it. The fighting, legal cost a year ago, it was easier to forego the child support request, and get her to agree the the $$$ I am paying her. If I were to go back to request child support, it opens up everything-- she could fight the custody, etc. For what? $140 x 17 more months? $2350 ? It's not worth it. I have 5 payments left now to her, and then it's done. I went ahead and consulted with an attorney--- final payment will be by check "Paid in Full"... and she can complain all she wants, but I will have fulfilled my payment obligation.

My current wife and her ex never had a child support order between then (never married either), and never had any issues (her S is now in college).

Can't wait until April. 8 )
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby Minerva » Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:48 pm

If you have a custody order then modification of CS does not open you up to anything. You can go to the family support office and tell them you want to put in for the absolute minimum (even if they tell you you could get more). Often times you don't even have to go to court, if you're not a d*ck the office loves working for dads.

Courts don't award $0 support orders, those are against state laws for every state that I'm aware of. Which means you have no CS order in place. This is dangerous, because there are games you can play with CS, and women do play them. I have heard stories first hand (from said relative) of women who move out of state and sign up for WIC. The state immediately looks for the CS order, if they don't have one, you are now potentially on the hook for payback. There has been cases where the state ends up demanding payment from a custodial parent because the government wants to get their money back and the father has the ability to pay.

You don't have to collect. Hell you can tell her that. But from all the horror stories I've heard I'd never walk around without an order until the child is past the age of support in your state.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 12:30 pm

DCSS (dept of child support services) has an online CS request system. I am checking it out now. Will report back. Thanks.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby nr552 » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:11 pm

**UPDATE**

SO I went to review my case file last Friday. Upon reading it, discovered that my CS officially ended prior to Jan 1, 2017. I had made 3 payments after the fact, and those payments were not calculated into my arrears/interest. I have copies of the 3 checks, and on all 3 I wrote in the memo line "CS + arrears" -- Adding those payments into the equation, I officially have 2 payments remaining and then I am done.

I made copies of the "order" and confirmed all of the amounts. Additionally I obtained copies of the mediation report that came out AFTER we signed the "order" (and it confirmed my request during mediation for primary custody, EOW for my ex).

Interestingly, there was a 80/20% parenting time sheet, which I requested to get a copy of. I was told that I was not suppose to see that, and they could not copy it. It was a COURT ONLY document. ??? I told the clerk that I normally got a parenting time % recommendation with the mediation report from FCS, so why is this different? She did not know.

Regarding going after CS from my ex... I ran the numbers with 80% me, 20% her... my ex imputed min wage full time (which she current does nothing, no job), and my income (I just received another raise)... The CS amount without adding any addons (re: out of pocket school costs, etc).. She'd owe me a whopping $6-10 a month. 100% not worth going after, it's wash. I did inform her that her $$$ would be ending soon, and she said "April, right?" and I just told her "Whatever the court documents say..." and left it at that.

Looks like I am free of any financial obligations before Feb 1st!
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby dadforever » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:15 pm

It is absolutely worth it to get the order for 10 bucks a month.
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Re: Final payment coming soon....

Unread postby Trevor » Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:45 pm

nr552 wrote:Interestingly, there was a 80/20% parenting time sheet, which I requested to get a copy of. I was told that I was not suppose to see that, and they could not copy it.

Surely you snapped a pic of the doc with your phone before you raised the question, right?
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