Financial questions post Pendente lite

Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.

Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby DaddyofOne » Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:07 pm

Trevor wrote:Take a loan against your balance; no penalty for this. And debts aren't all bad - calculate whether to borrow against your retirement, or structure a repayment plan that you can handle.


I already have a loan for $25k outstanding which covered debts and the retaining of my lawyer. I would want to wipe that out and not have any loan debt to pay.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby DaddyofOne » Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:09 pm

Chaos wrote:Hold up. All of that money was contributed during the marriage? There's no premarital money in either 401k?


Yeah. My wife was contributing $18k a year to her 401k and her employer matched a considerable amount. She front loads it the first part of the year to maximize how they match it. My $45k was originally around $33k at a previous job. Then when I left there I rolled it into a brokerage account and I bought stock in a few companies. Now it's around $45k.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby TJinCA » Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:12 pm

That should actually make it a lot simpler, since all of the contributions and all of the growth are marital property.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby DaddyofOne » Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:21 pm

Another question, how does the division of assets effect the $750 spousal/child support she's paying me? I'm half expecting her to make me an offer with the stipulation of less per month but more in a buy out. Our Pendente lite was just a week and a half ago. When should I start getting into the details with this with my lawyer? He recommended letting things calm down for a couple months before digging into this.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby a dad » Tue Dec 26, 2017 6:46 pm

In your first post, you mentioned she'd been front loading the 401k for over 10yrs but have been married for less than 10yrs, which means that some of her 401k is pre-marital. Only the assets gained during the marriage are split.

With the house, take the estimated value, subtract the mortgage and down payment, then divide by two to get the maximum amount you may be awarded.

Put all the marital assets and debts into a spreadsheet with a column for you and a column for her. Move around items until you get to an even distribution with minimal financial penalities and complications. Note that some assets & debts should stick together in one column, such as a house & mortgage or a car & it's loan.

What's your court ordered parenting schedule?
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby TJinCA » Tue Dec 26, 2017 7:08 pm

DaddyofOne wrote:Another question, how does the division of assets effect the $750 spousal/child support she's paying me? I'm half expecting her to make me an offer with the stipulation of less per month but more in a buy out. Our Pendente lite was just a week and a half ago. When should I start getting into the details with this with my lawyer? He recommended letting things calm down for a couple months before digging into this.


If you ask the judge to decide he's likely to want to keep it simple, split the assets 50-50 and determine spousal support according to whatever guidelines your state family code defines.

But you and your wife are free to make whatever deal you want, so if more cash up front and lower support makes sense you can submit a stipulated judgment and the judge will sign.

If you're the receiver and think you may remarry within a couple of years (meaning spousal support ends), getting more cash up front can be a particularly good deal.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby dad2grls » Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:57 pm

You can't avoid a QDRO.

It's part of the process. Just be glad you married someone with more income and assets, it's usually much worse for us dads who are usually the breadwinners.

Easy enough to figure out what to ask for in a buyout. Add all the joint marital assets and divide in half. She purchased the home before marriage? You might have a claim on the appreciation in value during the marriage but that's usually a stretch. You can ask for half the appreciated value which would require some appraisals but expect to give that up during settlement negotiations unless your state has specific laws that say otherwise.

Spousal support is a bit more complicated. Research case law and decisions for your state to get an idea of how much for how long as compared to duration of the marriage.

Sometimes assets received during settlement are considered when calculating support, but I wouldn't even go there unless you had to as part of negotiations. My exwife got over a million bucks at settlement and I still paid her $4k in monthly support for almost 6.5 years on a 16 year marriage, just to give you an idea. I live in NY.

Interesting that your attorney said "let things calm down for a few months". I figure it's because the longer the divorce takes the more the legal bill will be and since you've got some support money coming in you're in pretty good shape and can hold your own. That much being said, I see no good reason to "wait a few months for things to calm down". The legal system takes long enough without the parties doing something to slow it down even more.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby DaddyofOne » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:59 am

dad2grls wrote:That much being said, I see no good reason to "wait a few months for things to calm down".


I took your advice and sent my lawyer an e-mail asking this "Let me know how much time you need for us to build a financial proposal for a buy out that we can send to my STBX's lawyer". She takes a few days and replies with a PDF of a separation agreement asking me to fill it out. How can I fill this out when I don't know exactly how much of our marital assets are in play here and knowing what I can ask for and how much? I want all our marital assets presented to me so I can asses them and make a proposal myself. I feel like my lawyer wants me to do all the work when I need more information from him first.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby TJinCA » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:13 am

DaddyofOne wrote: I want all our marital assets presented to me so I can asses them and make a proposal myself. I feel like my lawyer wants me to do all the work when I need more information from him first.


You want your lawyer to tell you what your marital assets are? How is he going to know unless you provide the data?

Bottom line, your lawyer isn't responsible for this, you are. Easiest way is to make a spreadsheet for yourself. List all of the community property assets (and debts) - bank accounts, property, cars, retirement accounts, loans, credit cards. In one column list the value of each. Then put in a column for how much value goes to you and how much goes to her. Then you can play with the columns until you get a close enough 50-50 split.

Also keep in mind that anything you can do for yourself costs you nothing but your time. Anything your lawyer does for you will be billed in 6 minute increments. It's a lot cheaper for you to do all the legwork you can and let the lawyer stick to the lawyer stuff.
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Re: Financial questions post Pendente lite

Unread postby ib536 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:45 am

Link for property division spreadsheet I found and used...
http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=79123
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