If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.

Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:26 pm

This is good info; thank you.


grandet2 wrote:
calihome wrote:Does slowly withdrawing cash work? How far back do bank statements need to go during the "discovery" process? Over 12 mos? 24 mos?

grandet2 wrote:What is failing?
1 Year old? - Is she suffering from post partum? If yes, she needs help, it does not matter if you guys are not together you need to help her to be 100%, she is the mother of the children.

$$$ - slowly lose the money, I mean make small cash withdrawals and stash it away, give it to fam, buy yourself nice clothes.



I will tell you what my loving ex did:
1. Spend nearly 1k on clothes on CC every few weeks and then returned for cash.
2. gave cash gifts to bf, friends and family, ranging from few hundred dollars 3k.
3. Withdrew cash from ATM machine many times a month, 350, 500, 400 and so on. Everyone needs smokes, gas money, support your neighborhood kids.
4. Stashed money in a separate account and did not reveal it during discovery and the court did not give shite. [don't do this]

It is not illegal to go to the casino and have a good time, it is illegal to take out cash and spend it. But whatever you do has to pass the smell test.

Talk to your accountant about prepaying vendors and other ways to keep your books light.

Hiring your bro: if you do it now, you will get killed in court, if you do then you need to pay "reasonable" wages.
You could say that the stress of your relationship failing is bearing down on you and you needed help to handle business, you needed someone you can trust.

Bottom line, as Tom pointed out, you gots time brother, so use it, sit down and think it through.

Hiring your sibling is not illegal, this is family court brother, he who lies most and lies convincingly wins, unfortunate but true. It is a free for all. You need to have a story is click with the judge, that will have the court clerk shed tears for you.

As long as your brother files taxes with the income stated in 1099, you are fine, be ready to explain what he does for you. I have clients who pay $100k a year for dedicated concierge service. $100k plus a year for a pilot to fly them few times a year on their private jets.

In MI they take a 3 year average for income for CS calc. So go figure out what is the rule in your state.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:28 pm

Again, good info; thanks.


grandet2 wrote:
TJinCA wrote:Regarding getting her back to work: Depending on how young your kids are, somebody is going to have to provide care for them. So you need to figure out if it makes more sense and is better for the kids for you to pay a higher amount in child support so mom can continue to care for them, or for mom to work so the two of you can pay for 3rd party child care. There's no set answer for that, it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

Regarding your business: It's almost certainly going to be ruled a marital asset, so part of your planning needs to be how you're going to buy out her 50% share. You should be talking to an accountant about how to provide a valuation of the business that she'll agree with or alternatively will stand up in court.

And once you file probably one of the first things she'll do is hire an attorney who will be very interested in learning all about your finances. You'll be legally required (very possibly under penalty of perjury) to satisfy his curiosity. So if I were you I wouldn't even think (much less write) about rigging the books of the business or misleading her about it, or hiding funds or (again) about "bending the rules". When that stuff inevitably comes out in court it's likely to be a very bad day for you and will probably stain you in the judge's eyes on every issue not just the financial one. It's just not worth it.


I with TJ and I tried this but my loving ex, took the mula and put the kids in daycare while she shacked up with her loving caption save a hoe. Diaper rash has my child's middle name. The court did not give a shite.

Every business cooks their books, even our dear loving el presidente donnie. So relax. Never do anything that does pass the smell test pls. You run your business as you see fit. Just don't transfer all the money to your mother the night before filing for divorce.

Story time: My ex planned the divorce for nearly 2 year if not more, nobody in court cared about the shite she did.
Also never TELL your own attorney anything you don't want the judge to hear, he/she will rat you out off the record.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby Chaos » Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:29 pm

Recording isn't going to come back and bite you in the < hindquarters >. Hiding assets will.

I'll be interested in your results.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Dec 29, 2017 9:59 pm

what did you expect the court to do? Rewrite history?
grandet2 wrote:nobody in court cared about the shite she did.
Also never TELL your own attorney anything you don't want the judge to hear, he/she will rat you out off the record.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Sun Dec 31, 2017 10:40 am

Chaos wrote:I've seen it go back three years. I think someone on here recently had it go back 7, but I can't recall who. Hiding assets can screw you over like few other things can in a financial settlement. I don't know why anyone would encourage you to do something that could end with her being awarded everything.

I served my XW with 3 years of discovery in GA because that's a reasonable/standard timeframe. She counter served me with 7 years. She couldn't believe that I would want to divorce her unless there was a cupcake, so she was hell bent on looking through financials for disbursements to a hottie that didn't exist.

When completing the financial affidavit, there will be a section about cash assets and cash gifts. Specifying $0 will be suspicious. I had $3k in ATM withdrawals over the previous 12 months before I filed, and it was never questioned. If questioned, I had reasonable responses to it.

My divorce decree has a stipulation that any asset over $5k not previously disclosed will be transferred in it's entirety to the other party. I'd say this is a standard stipulation, but YMMV based on your state and attorney.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:17 pm

If I want to invest 50k of my business funds into a friends start up; in a divorce situation is she entitled to 1/2 of the current value of the investment in the business; or am I obligated to re-pay 25k? Or is it up to her to choose which she wants?
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby grandet2 » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:49 pm

calihome wrote:If I want to invest 50k of my business funds into a friends start up; in a divorce situation is she entitled to 1/2 of the current value of the investment in the business; or am I obligated to re-pay 25k? Or is it up to her to choose which she wants?


Paperwork involved? signed contracts?
Could it be that you gifted that to your friend :mrgreen:
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby TJinCA » Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:04 pm

calihome wrote:If I want to invest 50k of my business funds into a friends start up; in a divorce situation is she entitled to 1/2 of the current value of the investment in the business; or am I obligated to re-pay 25k? Or is it up to her to choose which she wants?


It'll likely be what the judge decides based on what he thinks of the evidence and arguments presented to him.

If it looks like a normal investment that a reasonable person might have made without a pending divorce, she'll likely get half the current value of the investment. Which may very well mean that she'll own a piece of your friend's startup and will participate in any future appreciation.

If it looks to the judge like you "invested" in your friend's business for the purpose of diminishing the value of the funds in order to shield them from property division in a divorce, after which you expect that your investment will magically appreciate back to the original value and be returned to you, you could wind up very, very screwed. You might have to pay her the $25K in cash regardless of current value, plus now you're dealing with a judge who thinks you're dishonest and that will color every other issue in the case. Family law typically gives the judge a ton of discretion over a lot of issues, so if you <urine> them off they can find ways to screw you.

So, you pick...
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:10 pm

calihome wrote:BTW; she doesn't see the books and has no clue on our finances other than to buy stupid < feces > all the time.

If you want to stop her from buying stupid < feces >, then stop giving her the means to do so. Nothing motivates a person to work more than being cutoff.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:42 pm

Yes; but I need to be careful with this b/c we are not at the D stage yet. I am spending the next 12 mos better situating myself before that occurs; and a "cutting off" type of behavior may tip my hand or accelerate the process.



HaltAndCatchFire wrote:
calihome wrote:BTW; she doesn't see the books and has no clue on our finances other than to buy stupid < feces > all the time.

If you want to stop her from buying stupid < feces >, then stop giving her the means to do so. Nothing motivates a person to work more than being cutoff.
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