If you had time ahead, what would you do?

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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby afc » Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:05 pm

You do this and you could lose it all.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:13 pm

She may not know, but her Attorney will know what to look for. You can bet with a business supporting a family of 4, they will request statements at least 3 years if not more. Her Attorney could also get an financial investigator to check.

This plan is going to take more than a year.

Wait until the youngest is in school.
Cut back your hours and become super dad.
Get her back to work
Build up status quo.

Plan on her getting half of everything.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:00 pm

Ya, aside from closing down my biz and taking a big financial hit I don't see what I can do unfortunately.

Phoenix853 wrote:She may not know, but her Attorney will know what to look for. You can bet with a business supporting a family of 4, they will request statements at least 3 years if not more. Her Attorney could also get an financial investigator to check.

This plan is going to take more than a year.

Wait until the youngest is in school.
Cut back your hours and become super dad.
Get her back to work
Build up status quo.

Plan on her getting half of everything.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:41 pm

what are you talking about? the forum has laid out what to do in this very thread.

Or did you mean you didn't hear the answer your liked?
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby TJinCA » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:10 pm

calihome wrote:I could put a sibling on pay roll or just 1099 and have them do work for my company/business. It would be tax compliant and a way to move money to their accounts legally.


Would this sibling be willing to testify under oath (which is to say, perjure themselves) that the money you paid them belonged to them now, and they're not just holding it for you until you've sufficiently screwed your wife over in the divorce?

Seriously, having a strategy is good and you want to maximize your chance of getting a fair settlement, but you seem to have a pretty sketchy mindset that's likely to get you into trouble.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:21 pm

Well said TJ.

OP, what you're tentatively planning is completely illegal. We aren't helping you come up with ways to break the law.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby grandet2 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:35 am

calihome wrote:Does slowly withdrawing cash work? How far back do bank statements need to go during the "discovery" process? Over 12 mos? 24 mos?

grandet2 wrote:What is failing?
1 Year old? - Is she suffering from post partum? If yes, she needs help, it does not matter if you guys are not together you need to help her to be 100%, she is the mother of the children.

$$$ - slowly lose the money, I mean make small cash withdrawals and stash it away, give it to fam, buy yourself nice clothes.



I will tell you what my loving ex did:
1. Spend nearly 1k on clothes on CC every few weeks and then returned for cash.
2. gave cash gifts to bf, friends and family, ranging from few hundred dollars 3k.
3. Withdrew cash from ATM machine many times a month, 350, 500, 400 and so on. Everyone needs smokes, gas money, support your neighborhood kids.
4. Stashed money in a separate account and did not reveal it during discovery and the court did not give shite. [don't do this]

It is not illegal to go to the casino and have a good time, it is illegal to take out cash and spend it. But whatever you do has to pass the smell test.

Talk to your accountant about prepaying vendors and other ways to keep your books light.

Hiring your bro: if you do it now, you will get killed in court, if you do then you need to pay "reasonable" wages.
You could say that the stress of your relationship failing is bearing down on you and you needed help to handle business, you needed someone you can trust.

Bottom line, as Tom pointed out, you gots time brother, so use it, sit down and think it through.

Hiring your sibling is not illegal, this is family court brother, he who lies most and lies convincingly wins, unfortunate but true. It is a free for all. You need to have a story is click with the judge, that will have the court clerk shed tears for you.

As long as your brother files taxes with the income stated in 1099, you are fine, be ready to explain what he does for you. I have clients who pay $100k a year for dedicated concierge service. $100k plus a year for a pilot to fly them few times a year on their private jets.

In MI they take a 3 year average for income for CS calc. So go figure out what is the rule in your state.
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby grandet2 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:52 am

TJinCA wrote:Regarding getting her back to work: Depending on how young your kids are, somebody is going to have to provide care for them. So you need to figure out if it makes more sense and is better for the kids for you to pay a higher amount in child support so mom can continue to care for them, or for mom to work so the two of you can pay for 3rd party child care. There's no set answer for that, it's an issue that needs to be addressed.

Regarding your business: It's almost certainly going to be ruled a marital asset, so part of your planning needs to be how you're going to buy out her 50% share. You should be talking to an accountant about how to provide a valuation of the business that she'll agree with or alternatively will stand up in court.

And once you file probably one of the first things she'll do is hire an attorney who will be very interested in learning all about your finances. You'll be legally required (very possibly under penalty of perjury) to satisfy his curiosity. So if I were you I wouldn't even think (much less write) about rigging the books of the business or misleading her about it, or hiding funds or (again) about "bending the rules". When that stuff inevitably comes out in court it's likely to be a very bad day for you and will probably stain you in the judge's eyes on every issue not just the financial one. It's just not worth it.


I with TJ and I tried this but my loving ex, took the mula and put the kids in daycare while she shacked up with her loving caption save a hoe. Diaper rash has my child's middle name. The court did not give a shite.

Every business cooks their books, even our dear loving el presidente donnie. So relax. Never do anything that does pass the smell test pls. You run your business as you see fit. Just don't transfer all the money to your mother the night before filing for divorce.

Story time: My ex planned the divorce for nearly 2 year if not more, nobody in court cared about the shite she did.
Also never TELL your own attorney anything you don't want the judge to hear, he/she will rat you out off the record.
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby grandet2 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:54 am

afc wrote:You have to support her in it and be a cheerleader for her.

You have to show that you absolutely positively never have a doubt that she can support herself and make it in the career world.


Yeap, make it all about her, do you can do it, empower her, incite a riot
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: If you had time ahead, what would you do?

Unread postby calihome » Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:24 pm

I also think recording someone without their knowledge is against the law (depending on the state) yet I see that pushed on here very often.

I am trying to do my best to mitigate my financial loss vs someone who I know can be very vindictive.

Lastly; I appreciated the long game super dad advice and will heed that, I was just looking for ways to protect myself further. Thx.



Chaos wrote:Well said TJ.

OP, what you're tentatively planning is completely illegal. We aren't helping you come up with ways to break the law.
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