Clothing and Finances

Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.

Clothing and Finances

Unread postby skiutah » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:33 am

I recently finalized my divorce and as I am sure some of you slowly realize, I didn't think of some issues and still don't know how to approach them.

We have 50/50 custody, no child support, no alimony. We basically earn about the same amount, but my ex has fewer expenses (her parents gave her a house after the divorce).

We split up the clothes initially, but I am realizing that over time, I haven't bought many new clothes, or any shoes. My ex just bought all the kids winter boots and when the kids come over, they wear those new clothes and boots. I sort of feel like I should help with these purchases, since the kids are using them during my parenting time, but at the same time, my ex buys things more often and higher priced items than I would like.

Any suggestions on how to "financially support" my ex with these clothing purchases, but not give her a blank check by saying, "Let me pay for 50% of the clothing budget."
skiutah
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:15 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:12 am

Stop. Jut stop. Spending time with the kids benefits them the most. Help the kids by paying for more experiential things when they are with you.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23688
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby a dad » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:34 am

Since kids grow out of clothes so quickly, lose them, and bring them to the ex's house, I get less expensive clothes but a higher quantity. If it's something they need more of and inexpensive or on sale, I'll easily get 2 or 3 of the same item.

If they're outgrowing socks and underwear, I'll get enough of the larger size to fill both closets.

Winter clothes like rain jackets, boots, and umbrellas are kinda different because they should have a set at your house in case they need it, yet changes in the weather may have them bringing the stuff to the ex's and not back. So that's the one category that can be tricky.

When buying clothes, keep in mind that sizes can cover multiple years so it's smarter to buy multiple sets when your kid is at the younger age of a size. For instance an 8yr old will likely fit in size 8-10 for 3yrs, whereas a 10yr old, only 1yr.

Baby's and toddlers have a size for every year, while teenagers may be looking for certain brands, but I'm right in the middle there, for now.
User avatar
a dad
Moderator
 
Posts: 9730
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 2:49 pm
Location: The Wild West

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 6:35 am

Q: Where do you all buy your kids clothes?

I remember reading here one father bought a tub of online somewhere? I'd love to buy in bulk if possible and then get the single items (Winter jackets, etc.) when they are on sale. I plan to mimic a dad's recommendation of high quantity but less expensive.
User avatar
LovingDadof2
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:34 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 7:23 am

There are two used kids clothing stores in my area that specialize in just kids clothing where I get clothes from. I just recently got my son 4 pairs of pants and 6 long sleeve shirts for $20. I bet if you looked around you have similar stores too and just about everywhere there is a goodwill.

You haven't yet cut the cord with your ex wife. What she does and what she buys has nothing to do with you.
the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it
lovingfatherof2
2.5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2540
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby _ProudPoppa_ » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:03 am

Old Navy has huge sales from Black Friday through Christmas. I think they do a pre-summer sale, too.

Most online retailers have clearance sales sections, too.
_ProudPoppa_
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 105
Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 7:28 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby Broken Machine » Fri Dec 08, 2017 11:17 am

I just buy my kids clothes to wear while they are here. Of course if they wear something that I bought them when they go to their mom's, I don't make an issue of it. Ironically, STBX sends them back to me wearing the same clothes. STBX buys the kids clothes as well and they wear them when they are with her. I will only make an issue of it if they arrive to me in rags or torn clothing.
Broken Machine
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 146
Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 7:35 am

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby skiutah » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:05 pm

The clothes are not much of an issue, but could develop. Mainly, I am wondering how people with 50/50 and no child support deal with buying shoes. I know it may sound trivial, but you basically wear the same shoes everyday, for the most part. I don't think you can completely cut the cord when you are sending the kids back and forth with shoes that only one parent has bought.
skiutah
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:15 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby afc » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:36 pm

Buy a pair for your house
afc
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7704
Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: Clothing and Finances

Unread postby Broken Machine » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:44 pm

I've wrestled with it too when I bought my kids new shoes for the school year. I was worried that the STBX would keep the new shoes and send them back to me with their old shoes. I even thought about keeping their new shoes with me and having them wear their old shoes on swap days. But none of that worrying changes the fact that my kids need shoes. So I said "< edited > it" and got them new shoes. If STBX never gets them new shoes, so be it. As long as I am doing my part for my kids. What ended up happening is that STBX bought them new shoes as well. Now, the new shoes she bought them are NEVER worn on swap days. But that's ok. It shows her lack of trust with co-parenting and it will lessen the wear and tear of the kids wearing them all the time. This is the same for clothing and toys as well.

It just comes down to doing your part for your kids. Your ex might play nice or she might be shady as a willow tree. And if she is shady, well it won't be a surprise to you because she is your ex for a reason. Right?
Broken Machine
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 146
Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 7:35 am

Next

Return to Finances & Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron