Should I seek a CS modification?

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Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby dogcatcow » Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:55 am

Sorry in advance for long post.

I'm trying to decide when the time is right, if ever, to seek a CS modification. Specifically,

* What conditions can require a modification
* Do those conditions exist
* Is it too risky for me to even try (will explain)

First, I did have a pretty good attorney throughout my dissolution, but when I asked about modification when we were going through this, he gave only very general guidance and made it clear this would be another "job" that I would have to retain him for later.

Facts are:

* State is Ohio.
* Amicable dissolution was settled in mid-May.
* I make about $40k a year more than her.
* We were married 20 years.
* Three minor kids, 13, 15 and 18 (although still in high school so still subject to shared parenting plan)

I made out well; long story short, she simply agreed and had no attorney to convince her otherwise:

* I got the house.
* I got to keep my retirement.
* No alimony.
* I did assume a *little* more debt than her
* I am residential parent during the school year; otherwise, supposed to be 50/50 time split; EOW all year
* She agreed to pay me CS

Child support details:

* When we put our information into the calculator and identified her as the obligor, even with me making more salary, it said she should pay me about $1,000
* When she saw that, she freaked out and then she freaked out more when she learned Ohio takes it directly out of your paycheck, so to calm her down because I was afraid she would run to an attorney, I agreed to reduce that to $150 per kid per month

Now I'm trying to decide if I can get some of that money back. Here's why:

* She would not take the kids for half the time during the summer, making constant excuses, leaving me to manage everything as a single parent; she did honor EOW, but kids wouldn't always go and she always asked them "if they wanted to see mom this weekend" rather than just get them.
* She's alienated the 15 and 18 YO to the point they will not visit her and she refuses to reconcile so she can do her part
* When she moved out, she moved half an hour away, and almost two months ago moved in with a boyfriend that lives 45 minutes away
* Due to her not living up to her part of the 50/50 in the summer and EOW for the 15 and 18 YO, I'm going through a lot more in terms of child rearing responsibilities and costs than I planned when I agreed to the reduction to $150/kid/mo

Don't get me wrong, I love time with my kids and I love to provide for them, but I don't want her to get off with doing nothing. If she won't give time, she needs to give money.

Ohio will do an administrative review of child support every three years. That obviously is a ways off and a lot might change before then.

My questions are:

* Is her not honoring the 50/50 time split (I log every day; her percentage of days with the 18 YO since split is 1.99%, 5.3% for 15 YO and 12% for 13 YO) enough for me to ask for a recalculation?

* Is the only reason she's ordered to pay me because she agreed to be the obligor? In other words, if I rock the boat on this one, am I putting myself at risk of being ordered to pay her CS because a) it's shared parenting and b) I make a lot more than her?

* Am I just being a greedy bastard?

Also, she is NOT under financial hardship. Yes, I make more than her, but she still makes around $70k a year and has almost no expenses.

Obviously, my big worry is that the only reason she is the obligor is I told her she needed to pay me child support, she agreed and that's how my attorney put it into the calculator. I'm worried that if this goes in front of a judge or magistrate for a recalculation that the question of who is the obligor will be re-opened and I'll be ordered to pay her.

Thanks.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:06 am

Don't poke the bear.

Ask yourself what's really at the center of this pebble in your shoe. Most of us would take the deal you've gotten and never blink about CS from the mother.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby dogcatcow » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:07 am

Thank you.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:15 am

Hello,

As the primary parent, it is your job to make the children available, but the mother has no obligation to exercise her parenting time.

Child Support is not per deim, it is an annual amount divided into 12 payments - the fact she does not exercise her time yesterday does not make her liable for more support tomorrow.

Your two children who refuse parenting time with the mother are placing you in contempt of court, not proving anything about the mother.

You agreed to this settlement - while the Court always reserves the right to review child support, you certainly are opening the serious potential that you would pay support, if that is what the Guidelines suggest. Given your own description of the circumstances, how’d you like the entire divorce set aside for lack of representation and fraud? That’s your risk.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:24 am

Your two children who refuse parenting time with the mother are placing you in contempt of court, not proving anything about the mother.


Pushing back a little.

Contempt is an offense against the judge. A teen refusing to go with the mother is not the father offending against the judge.

In my state, the parent of a teen refusing < parenting time > cannot be held in contempt. OP's is likely similar.

Also, in my state you would not be able to request a modification until year three since you settled for below guideline. Again, likely similar in OP's state as well.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby dogcatcow » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:35 am

BartSimpson wrote:As the primary parent, it is your job to make the children available, but the mother has no obligation to exercise her parenting time.


I'm not the primary parent. It's a 50/50 shared parenting plan and I'm deemed the residential parent for purposes of the school year. You are throwing around legal terms that don't even apply and you don't even understand.

BartSimpson wrote:Child Support is not per deim, it is an annual amount divided into 12 payments - the fact she does not exercise her time yesterday does not make her liable for more support tomorrow.


OK, but the order is very clearly a monthly order per kid. It's worded very specifically in our settlement contract. What Ohio statute overrides our settlement? Cite it.

BartSimpson wrote:Your two children who refuse parenting time with the mother are placing you in contempt of court, not proving anything about the mother.


When the mother is directed in the agreement to drive to where the kids are and get the kids and she instead decides not to drive to where the kids are and not get the kids, her actions do not place me in contempt, friend.

All you know is what I told you yet you dream up your own unstated assumptions and try to toss wrenches into other people's plans.

I've lurked on this forum a lot, and I've seen you do this to others.

Get off this forum. You are hurting dads, not helping them.

BartSimpson wrote:You agreed to this settlement - while the Court always reserves the right to review child support, you certainly are opening the serious potential that you would pay support, if that is what the Guidelines suggest.


What I agreed to, she is not doing. You are giving no more information here. I asked what the guidelines suggest. If you don't know, don't ask again.

BartSimpson wrote:Given your own description of the circumstances, how’d you like the entire divorce set aside for lack of representation and fraud? That’s your risk.


What fraud?

You are a joke.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Oct 19, 2017 9:39 am

Why are you so rude? I am a volunteer here to assist others.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby gamingdad » Thu Oct 19, 2017 1:43 pm

Yes, take her to court for a CS mod. Get your money back with arrears if you can. Maybe as a courtesy, send her an email about your plans so she can start saving money for the arrears.
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Re: Should I seek a CS modification?

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:10 am

dogcatcow wrote:What fraud?
You are a joke.

OP, not sure what your motive is, but Bart is one of the most respected and helpful volunteers on this board.

You really need to take a moment and pause. You may not agree with his recommendations (others have politely disagreed) but you need to find a better way to communicate. Just because you read answers that weren't what you wanted or hoped, is no reason to lash out and be rude.

If you ask for help here, be prepared to hear both the good and the bad. These guys know what they are talking about. They have helped countless Dads (including myself) navigate this mess. They will help you too... if you let them.
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