I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor $

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I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor $

Unread postby regret143 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:19 pm

Hi,

I have joint/shared custody in Texas.
In the divorce, she kept the house but she is supposed to pay me back 35k for my share of the equity.
One month after I divorced, I lost my job and couldn't pay CS, and in all the emotional roller coaster at the time, I messed up and did not file for modification of CS. Go ahead and call me stupid, I will agree with you.
I am now working again and paying CS, the same amount as before, even though I am making 30% less (Call me stupid again), and then some as defined by the AG office for the arrears.

So now she retained a lawyer and sent me "settlement letters" to forgive the 35k in exchange for all I owe, that according the the first letter is:
- 9000 for CS (true)
- 1500 for my 50% of medical expenses (lie, she later send receipts the real number is 400)
- 3200 for child care (lie, but arguable in court)
- 2400 reimbursement for health care while unemployed (she got medicare for the kids, so actual spending was 0)
- 10000 for damages and sanctions
========
26,000.00 total claim
So, what I actually owe is 9400.
She knows I can't afford going to court, so her strategy is to BULLY me into giving her more than she is owed.
Other relevant facts: She doesn't work and never did by choice and is currently in medical school. She will remarry soon (when she does, does it matter?). Her father is a multi millionaire (net worth ~20m).

I need advice on:
- Can I completely end any CS payments in court?
- What are her chances on getting more than what is fair from my 35K from the house?

A friend of mine who is a lawyer in another country, said that maybe I can show the court that she is trying to get way more than what is fair, using coercion, and the court will see and consider that. Is this true, and to what extent?

I appreciate anyone's input.

Tks!
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby Outis » Fri Oct 06, 2017 6:17 pm

When was the divorce finalized? Why haven't you filed for a modification of CS? How many kids, and how old are they? And how much time do you spend with them?
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby regret143 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 6:53 pm

Divorce was final in dec, 2015
2 kids (s4, d7), one week with me, one with the mom
Will file for mod soon, bc I'm an idiot.
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby Outis » Fri Oct 06, 2017 7:35 pm

How soon? It should be like Monday morning soon.

Congrats on 50/50 in Texas. That's a really good deal. How's you end up with that?

To answer your financial questions, no, these are separate issues. The money the mother owes you is between you two. The money you owe her is for the kids, and cannot be waived. Now if you get $35K from her and apply that to back CS, then go for it. But these aren't offsetting penalties with a replay of the down.

Why's this an issue now? What brought it up?
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby regret143 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:43 pm

So, i got 50/50 because she never wanted the kids full time.
Regarding the money owed, she's the one that wants to wave the debts on both sides.
The monthly payments for cs, she only gets it bc my income was higher. If hers was similar or higher, I'd be paying zero or getting paid. The formula is to calculate each one's percentage of income according to the guidelines, and the difference is paid to the one who makes the lesser.

So my question is, how can someone struggling to makes the end meet be considered the one to pay, when the other lives off of a humongous estate and will never need to work a single day in life?
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby americandadof5 » Sun Oct 08, 2017 3:55 pm

regret143 wrote:So, i got 50/50 because she never wanted the kids full time.
Regarding the money owed, she's the one that wants to wave the debts on both sides.
The monthly payments for cs, she only gets it bc my income was higher. If hers was similar or higher, I'd be paying zero or getting paid. The formula is to calculate each one's percentage of income according to the guidelines, and the difference is paid to the one who makes the lesser.

So my question is, how can someone struggling to makes the end meet be considered the one to pay, when the other lives off of a humongous estate and will never need to work a single day in life?


Sounds like a even break if you add in the 10k youre gonna spend on attorneys fees if you fight this. A clean slate on child support may be the better offer. Definitely modify so your payments reflect your true income and ability to pay

Is she receiving state benefits on behalf of the children because she most likely will not be able to waive amounts owed to the state?
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:02 am

Seems you are mistaking negotiation for extortion. It's only extortion if it's not justified by fact and that there is nowhere else for you to go for a solution. All she did was open negotiation with terms favorable to her. You are not compelled to agree; you should never sign an agreement that causes you to lose sleep (or involves cement shoes).

We advocate using the CS Agency to transmit CS payments to the other parent. How are you paying CS presently?

Your homework today: contact the CS Agency in your location and discover how to set up your CS payment scheme through them. They may be able to handle the mod for you, since it is a simple mathematical equation. The courts very often outsource this function to the CS Agency who can easily handle the tasks involved. And no lawyers.
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby regret143 » Mon Oct 09, 2017 9:59 am

Americandad: I'm not sure, because her only sure claims sums up to about 11k at the most. That's 24k from what she owes me. She is BS'ing a lot on her claims, according to a lawyer I talked to.

Trevor: Of course it is not literally an extortion, that would be a crime and I would have gone to the police already. Extortion is how I few because she is relying on the fact that I have no financial means to fight this in court properly and is taking advantage of that to make a profit.
I don't manually make payment for CS, it is garnished from wages by the State.
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Oct 09, 2017 10:03 am

And it feels like extortion because you seem unaware that there are solutions, even though I just told you of a good one. The CS Agency handles the garnishment. Have you done your homework yet?
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Re: I'm being extorted by ex. I owe back CS and a few minor

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Oct 09, 2017 10:14 am

I stand corrected. viewtopic.php?f=7&t=74091&p=813853#p813853

You've been told about all this stuff and failed to execute it back then. Almost 2 years ago.

How many times do you need to be told something before you bother to act upon it?
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