Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby steelmark » Tue Oct 03, 2017 8:41 am

This comment isn't to beat up OP, but an open ended modifiable alimony clause like that should be avoided at all costs.

Holy Wild West on that one.

In regards to the move, with her being custodial parent and no verbiage restricting a move away, there isn't a lot you can do without seeking a modification to the existing decree and having a GAL determine that moving isn't in the best interest of the kids.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby Outis » Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:09 am

steelmark wrote:In regards to the move, with her being custodial parent and no verbiage restricting a move away, there isn't a lot you can do without seeking a modification to the existing decree and having a GAL determine that moving isn't in the best interest of the kids.

We don't know that. It's unclear what his documentation of 60% is - it could be the golden standard of documentation for court. It could be a guesstimate. Heck, I haven't even seen OP lay out the ordered schedule.

Like OP, the forum has focused on the alimony.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:40 am

Enough with the alimony already. It looks like its modifiable but it is a secondary issue right now.

Lets talk about what actually matters, the kids.

What is the court ordered parenting plan?
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:59 am

#1-- get in your kids life more. If you move closer then them being in a different school district wouldn't be as big a deal would it? If you already are maxing out your time, always be available for more (if you don't at least have 50/50). Document me each and every day where the kids are-- who they are with, what they have done or reported to you. It's going to be a life journal you're going to need at some point. Having that in a court case when/if a parenting time (I hate the word custody) modification request comes-- you're going to make you ex look foolish in attempting to refute your documented timeline.

#2-- marriage/alimony-- I went through that BS... the spousal support waiting game. Order of Gavron, order of Richmond. Those two helped push my case through when I requested spousal support be terminated due to cohabitation... But you have to look at your own situation--- if shes freshly moved in with Mr. W... you have to give them time to get settled--- it's like fishing-- you pull the hook out every 30 seconds-- you're going to fail to get what you want. I gave my ex 3 years to hang herself with cohabitation-- she and her BF professed they were in love on FB, in a relationship (I snapped pictures of that). then they got a new truck (in both of their names), and she had a cell phone for 2+ years-- in his name. In your case with an open ended SS payment (which is pure BS).. it should be of interest to see what her timeline vs. $$$ to fight it now works out to be. $800 a month from now until 12 months (if she were to get married in 12 months) vs. pushing for cohabitation in 3 months (and she bails out on Mr. W.)-- you're out the $2400 sure, but you'll also stand a good chance of losing the case + she'll NEVER get married at that rate to keep that $$$ coming in from you.(I hope you are deducting that $800 from your taxable income at the end of the year--- it's a deduction for you, and taxable income to her--- if you failed to do that back to 2015-- you can amend your tax returns--- which will put her in trouble with the IRS if she didn't claim the $$ herself as income).

#3--- If you get spousal support terminated--- make it non-modifiable once terminated-- it's done and over.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:18 am

I asked about an appeal but my lawyer said it would take twice as much money and the judge would be mad because I disagreed with his findings.


No ... we shouldn't stop the discussion about alimony because that is what the OP is inquiring about ... isn't he?

While it is true that family court judges have great latitude when ruling on these cases ("anything goes"), not quite ... anything ... goes, really. The OP's lawyer at the time of the divorce was a complete idiot. He should have screamed bloody hell for permanent maintenance for a nine year marriage, for crying out loud. And that bit about the judge being mad because he disagreed with his findings ... complete stupidity. Appeals are heard by different judges -- not the same ones who preside in regular family law courts.

If I were him I would get a new lawyer, petition for reduction or termination of maintenance, or appeal the original ruling.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:24 am

I don't see how its permanent.

It says modifiable and indefinite in duration.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby steelmark » Tue Oct 03, 2017 10:34 am

Outis wrote:
steelmark wrote:In regards to the move, with her being custodial parent and no verbiage restricting a move away, there isn't a lot you can do without seeking a modification to the existing decree and having a GAL determine that moving isn't in the best interest of the kids.

We don't know that. It's unclear what his documentation of 60% is - it could be the golden standard of documentation for court. It could be a guesstimate. Heck, I haven't even seen OP lay out the ordered schedule.

Like OP, the forum has focused on the alimony.



If he has solid documentation, he still has to take some sort of action to prevent the move.

There doesn't appear to be any built in geographic restrictions, or perhaps he hasn't mentioned them yet.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby Outis » Tue Oct 03, 2017 11:46 am

lionel2013 wrote:No ... we shouldn't stop the discussion about alimony because that is what the OP is inquiring about ... isn't he?
I disagree.

A court won't rule on alimony until after she's living with the boyfriend. Even then, the experience of the board is that he'll have to prove a lot more than just living together. The issue is more complex than he thinks, but at the end of the day, can't be addressed until they are living together - at minimum.

Meanwhile, custody can be addressed at any time. With notice of her intention to move, especially with it requiring a change of schools, OP can file for an injunction and motion for a change in the custodial arrangement - especially with actually having the kids more.

Further, custody matters have a more significant impact for all parties than does alimony. Kids always come before money.
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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Oct 03, 2017 1:42 pm

Outis wrote:.....the experience of the board is that he'll have to prove a lot more than just living together.
The bar for co-habitation is higher than it is for marriage.

For starters: They must hold themselves out to the world that they are a couple. Monies; assets; finances; property ownership; usually hafta be co-mingled.

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Re: Ex moving in with boyfriend - will alimony stop?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 2:12 pm

Further, custody matters have a more significant impact for all parties than does alimony. Kids always come before money.


Read the last part of the title of this thread, please. Nobody's saying money comes before kids.
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