How shouled I go about ex either getting or been married?

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Re: How shouled I go about ex either getting or been married

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:34 am

TJinCA wrote:
Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
MarcoPoloDad wrote:.....or registration of a new domestic partnership.....
^^^ This is laughable.

Q: Since there's no law against couples living together, I wonder how many couples actually register??

Notice how WA State provides a loophole for couples merely "living together." For the payor, nothing changes. Alimony payments must continue unabated.


Couples register domestic partnerships in order to gain the legal benefits of marriage (family health care plans, hospital < parenting time > rights, inheritance rights, etc.) without being married. In CA, RDP is only available to same-sex couples (who until recently were legally prevented from legally marrying) and opposite-sex couples where one partner is over age 62. I don't think it's generally available to heterosexual couples living together, like an ex and her Mr. W.

There certainly is an alimony loophole for a receiving party who chooses to live with Mr. W and not get married. But it can potentially be closed by claiming that sharing a household is a change of circumstances that reduces her need for support, and requesting a modification therefor.

^^^^ Family Code section 4323(a)(1) provides that “there is a rebuttable presumption, affecting the burden of proof, of decreased need for spousal support if the supported party is cohabiting with a person of the opposite sex…”. If your former spouse is in a romantic relationship and cohabitating with that person, that may be enough to seek a decrease in your alimony payments. <---- that's what saved me approx. $19k in SS payments 8 )
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Re: How shouled I go about ex either getting or been married

Unread postby TJinCA » Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:40 am

Yeah, that's in California law, and it's nice "rebuttable presumption" puts the burden of proof on the receiving/cohabitating party to try to prove that their expenses are NOT reduced. My understanding is that unless the receiver makes a pretty good case, the typical reduction in spousal support is on the order of 50%.

I don't believe Washington law (applicable to OP) contains that language but it does allow for modification based on "change of circumstances". But I believe that would put the burden on the paying party to demonstrate reduced need.
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Re: How shouled I go about ex either getting or been married

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:39 pm

From the cases I witnessed, plus my own (which we reached an agreement when I went toe to toe with my ex's attorney about it, and she caved/agreed that she would lose her request to keep ss), if a person is cohabitating in a romantic relationship in CA (acting and functioning as a married couple), that is grounds for termination of SS.

Early on my ex was living with her BF, and I attempted to get SS terminated in the beginning. Both my Ex and her BF gave declarations to the court that on the 1st of the month, my ex was paying $500 a month "rent" to the BF's parents, they didn't share expenses, she pays her own way, etc. -- 3 years later when I went again for another bite, the ex has a new truck in both her and her bf's name, FB posts "in a relationship with", and her cell phone caller ID resolved to the guys name. That was long enough for me to pull the trigger on a request for termination of support.

My ex's attorney claimed I entered into the MSA knowing that they cohabitated, and there has been no change of circumstances. That's when I remembered the 2 declarations in our file to the court from 3 years prior. I explained to the attorney -- that simply living together as "roommates" does not constitute cohabitation, so based on their declarations, and associated information regarding monthly rent payments, I was given the impression they weren't cohabitating then, but you now are telling me they WERE cohabitating-- so based upon your statement I am requesting documentation of Who the $500 a month rent was paid to, proof of monthly payments, bank statements, cancelled checks, etc. If you cannot produce that information, it is highly likely that both my ex and her bf lied in their declaration, perjury is a felony and includes fines. Which story do you want to stick with?


She agreed to terminate support, though modifiable, I went with that-- 2 years later, made it permanent. My nearly 100% increase in salary is mine to keep, not to feed her (overweight) (mule).
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