STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:08 pm

It should be worrisome that your attorney advised you to violate the court order, which not only puts the community assets at risks, but both of your credit ratings. I'm guessing the judge may have your < edited > over this.

Your attorney is worried that the fact she is not making any money will backfire and force you to pay more? Pay more with what? Now you have to explain why you violated the court order, talk about risk of backfire!

To me you need to get in front of a judge ASAP to order that house sold with a plan to get current on that mortgage.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:23 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Someone is coaching her.
^^^^^ Pay attention, Bro:

1) She pinned you with phony DV accusations. Whether they stuck or not makes no difference.

2) Her phony DV forced you out of the house and she got exclusive use and occupancy. That's all that matters.

3) She lost her job. Now she's claiming to be financially destitute. You can bet she's gonna play that card for all it's worth.

Research California case law Gavron vs Gavron (aka, Gavron Warning).

If you end up paying alimony, you're gonna want strict terms and conditions written in your decree including, but not limited to: termination date certain; non-modification clause; alimony provision is modifiable only if you lose your job or you hafta take a pay cut. You don't want her coming back and having alimony modified or revisited.

What other advantage does she have that I failed to mention?? Because frankly, she's light years ahead of you and you have no clue how she got there and your attorney has no clue what to do about it.

Do you see how she's working her game plan?? Everything she's done is right out of the DV Shelter Playbook. But what's troubling is that your attorney has no answer for any of the above. It's as though he's capitulated to the other side.

Q: Have you consulted with another attorney??

Instead of having exclusive use, she should have limited use; or perhaps provisional use.
Because what she's got now is nothing short of a blank check. Unless you take action, she's gonna play this house thing for all it's worth. File a motion and show cause. Put the house on the market.

FYI - Getting her out of the house will level the playing field considerably. With that in mind, selling the house must be your primary focus.

Q: Is there any reason the house can't be put on the market immediately?? Is the house in salable condition?? Can it be shown at any time?? Will she allow you to do an inspection?? You've gotta stop being afraid of her.

BTW - Getting 50/50 is the one thing you got right. Cudos on that!!

$64 Question: In addition to marital debt et al, are you paying temporary alimony??

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:54 am

Q: Have you consulted with another attorney??


I have not, this is my second attorney (and this attorney was much "better" than my last...)..

File a motion and show cause. Put the house on the market. FYI - Getting her out of the house will level the playing field considerably. With that in mind, selling the house must be your primary focus.


It is my primary focus, and I want to do it asap but still not sure on how exactly this is done.


Q: Is there any reason the house can't be put on the market immediately?? Is the house in salable condition?? Can it be shown at any time?? Will she allow you to do an inspection?? You've gotta stop being afraid of her.


I am not afraid of her. Just honestly unsure on how exactly do i put the house on the market..The house/mortgage is in her name...It is not on my credit report and I am on the deed only....nonetheless, the house is in great condition and will show well but its all a moot point if I try to put house on the market and the very next day she simply contacts realtor and takes house off the market.....thats my hurdle....any action i take with respect to the house, she will simply cancel/negate..things only happen in my case if court ordered.....Its as if I need a court order to force the sale of the house..

BTW - Getting 50/50 is the one thing you got right. Cudos on that!!

Thanks im still elated at that...

$64 Question: In addition to marital debt et al, are you paying temporary alimony??


As part of the pendente lite order from last June 2016, I pay her 150 dollars per month in "unallocated" support. ....this was a huge step down from what she was asking for (at that time she was asking for 500 per week in "unallocated support")........but Im on the hook to pay 100% of all bills/debts and expenses that equate to more than my monthly earnings...

at our last motion hearing she tried to get me on the hook to cover her legal fees and advance her more money for lawyer costs etc...luckily the judge denied that..and "scolded" her as having an archaic mindset that reaks of tender years doctrine and that the mom has no responsibilty...
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:43 am

If she does not agree, I can't see how that house can be put on the market without a court order. I am assuming that in addition to you, she is on the deed as well.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:59 am

truemort wrote:The house/mortgage is in her name.....It is not on my credit report and I am on the deed only.....
Why didn't you say so?? This changes everything. If you play your cards right, this could be a significant bargaining chip.

Remember, never surrender a bargaining chip without getting something of significance in return.

truemort wrote:As part of the pendente lite order from last June 2016, I pay her 150 dollars per month in "unallocated" support.
An order for unallocated support is much better than an order for temporary alimony. I know this is New Jersey. But if she's not getting alimony now, there's a 50/50 chance she won't be getting alimony post-divorce (unless you agree otherwise). More often than not, status quo prevails.

Your job is to simplify and get laser focused. As far as I can tell, your case boils down to the lowest common denominator; namely, the house and alimony. With 50/50 locked in, all this other crap is nothing more than psychological warfare.

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Q: Have you consulted with another attorney??
Pay attention, Bro. I didn't ask if you hired another attorney. All I'm asking is, "Did you get a second opinion??"

Come to think of it, talking to a father-friendly para legal would likely be the thing to do. If you let him do a little research on your behalf, you'd be better able to proactively manage your case and thus, your attorney.

Tom

truemort wrote:STBX conveniently "lost" her job......
In all likelihood Bro, this was a well-orchestrated termination.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby grandetaco » Mon Apr 17, 2017 11:22 am

Storytime: My ex did the same, magically she lost her job a year before she filed.
and magically she got rehired after the judge imputed her on her last salary there.

Consulting a different atty: I did this when I figured out my first green horn atty was sacrificing my chunky < hindquarters > to please OC.
Find the best male atty around and setup a consultation hour, pay for it, and lay it down and ask for help with strategy.
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Apr 17, 2017 11:35 am

grandetaco wrote:Find the best male atty around and setup a consultation hour, pay for it, and lay it down and ask for help with strategy.
^^^ Yep!! Money well spent.

grandetaco wrote:.....and magically she got rehired after the judge imputed her on her last salary there.
Will wonders ever cease!! It's amazing what NJ's can do when a judge forces their greedy little hands.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Mon Apr 17, 2017 12:25 pm

grandetaco wrote:Storytime: My ex did the same, magically she lost her job a year before she filed.
and magically she got rehired after the judge imputed her on her last salary there.

Consulting a different atty: I did this when I figured out my first green horn atty was sacrificing my chunky < hindquarters > to please OC.
Find the best male atty around and setup a consultation hour, pay for it, and lay it down and ask for help with strategy.


thanks guys. i get it. I will consult with a diff attorney asap. My calibration has been off due to the effects of this psychological/financial warfare for over a year......i know that I was becoming battle weary and frusutrated with it all.......but i will get laser focused on this......

Why didn't you say so?? This changes everything. If you play your cards right, this could be a significant bargaining chip.

Remember, never surrender a bargaining chip without getting something of significance in return.


how exactly can this be used in my favor? I do know that it gives me leverage but was unsure how to execute it.

In a similar fashion, i honestly feel that the debt load also gives me a bit of leverage to barter against any alimony payouts...but unsure on execution....
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Apr 17, 2017 10:54 pm

truemort wrote:How exactly can this be used in my favor? I do know that it gives me leverage but was unsure how to execute it.
At some point, someone's gonna want you to sign a Quit Claim on NJ's house (Actually, it's your house too). When you sign, is NJ gonna give you something of significance in return??..... or - Are you just gonna sign it and forget it??

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:57 am

At some point, someone's gonna want you to sign a Quit Claim on NJ's house (Actually, it's your house too). When you sign, is NJ gonna give you something of significance in return??..... or - Are you just gonna sign it and forget it??


she is of the type that will not want or push me to sign a quit claim deed. she is content to just let things remain exactly how they are...

why would she want to get me off the deed if she doesnt have to?

what benefit does it do her? she does not intend on selling the house and is lazy/crazy enuff to just let things be.....
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