STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Apr 12, 2017 12:15 pm

truemort wrote:.....there's nothing much I can really do.....how can I implement austerity in these circumstances? My health insurance plan for the family is $1,500 alone per month.
It's all about pushing the envelope, Bro.

For example, of you shop around, I'll bet you could find a medical plan with a higher deductible and a lower monthly premium. In this game, nothing is guaranteed unless you become willing to take risks.

truemort wrote:Do i simply contact realtor and say i want to list hoiuse for sale?
You've got a financial entanglement. This is the whole point about not moving out.

Q: What makes you think she'll move out after divorce is finalized??

You need to sell the house. The sooner, the better.

Tom
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Thu Apr 13, 2017 8:13 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
truemort wrote:.....there's nothing much I can really do.....how can I implement austerity in these circumstances? My health insurance plan for the family is $1,500 alone per month.
It's all about pushing the envelope, Bro.

For example, of you shop around, I'll bet you could find a medical plan with a higher deductible and a lower monthly premium. In this game, nothing is guaranteed unless you become willing to take risks.

truemort wrote:Do i simply contact realtor and say i want to list hoiuse for sale?
You've got a financial entanglement. This is the whole point about not moving out.

Q: What makes you think she'll move out after divorce is finalized??

You need to sell the house. The sooner, the better.

Tom


I understand. we are pushing for the house to be sold or for her to buy me out of the equity...but until that happens is there anything i can do?

It seemed as if I "had to" move out due to the constant abuse/DV.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:11 pm

truemort wrote:It seemed as if I "had to" move out due to the constant abuse/DV.
Getting you out of the house, by any means necessary, was exactly her game plan. IMHO - Someone is coaching her.

truemort wrote:.....we are pushing for the house to be sold.....
The house isn't gonna sell itself, Bro. It's incumbent upon you to embolden yourself to push the envelope in this regard. Waiting for something to happen will get you nowhere.

Bottom line: The house needs to be actively "on the market." That means the house must be in a constant state of readiness to be shown and/or sold at any time. If, for any reason whatsoever, she's unable to do that, then she needs to move out.

Simply stated, as long as she remains in the house, you're gonna have a financial entanglement. And if she's in the house after divorce is finalized, she'll never leave.

truemort wrote:.....or for her to buy me out.....
Q: Seriously?? Is this a realistic option?? Since it isn't, why make it an option for her??

Tom
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:46 pm

I understand bro, i guess where im lacking is the actual strategy on how to get the house on the market when im ordered to maintain the mortgage pendente lite?

Is this something I simply just go ahead and do? (when meanwhile I have 50/50 with kids and live elsewhere?)...should I be instructing my attorney to do something? and if so, what? some kind of motion?

And how does one simply put the house on the market when the other party can simply take the house off the market at will?

Any advice on righting this ship? I am willing to be bold and take actions outside of comfort zone. I just want to make it count.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:18 am

Are you stating that she has exclusive use and possession of the house, and that you are also ordered to pay for the house in addition to providing her support? Outside of a DV order in her favor, I can't see how she could get such an order.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:14 pm

JimRockford wrote:Are you stating that she has exclusive use and possession of the house, and that you are also ordered to pay for the house in addition to providing her support? Outside of a DV order in her favor, I can't see how she could get such an order.



yes. this is basically exactly my position that im in. There was no DV order in her favor.. I was the DV victim....

We have not gone to trial yet and have had numerous failed mediations..

After the numerous DV's, I filed a motion to "correct" the previous judge's ridiculous order that only gave me non-overnite parenting time 3 days a week (while i was still living in the home....which literally makes less than no sense)..

My motion was successful in that the new judge recognized the illogical position i was in and provided me with the 2-2-3 50/50 i was fighting for....the other side at that time asked for exclusive use of the home and got it.....so since Jan of 2017 I am no longer in the home but have the 50/50 i wanted....

yet, the previous pendente lite financial obligations still persist where I am ordered to maintain all expenses...including the mortgage...

now, thrown in, is the the fact that my stbx conveniently lost her job..

How do I make a move without it somehow back firing? The previous pendente lite obligation to cover all expenses needs to be nixed somehow or house taken out of the equation somehow..
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:27 pm

So after she supposedly lost her job, she got a modification to the order, to have you pay more?
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:33 pm

JimRockford wrote:So after she supposedly lost her job, she got a modification to the order, to have you pay more?


no..i know its confusing..

1) the order that put me on the hook to cover all expenses occured in June 2016! I should have never been ordered to pay everything because she did indeed have a job/income.....this gave her the free ride during the divorce...
2) so all this time ive been forced to pay everything..
3) the DV and me getting 50/50 and moving out occurred in jan 2017.
4) meanwhile im still paying all expenses....
5) we just now got letter stating she lost her job a cpl weeks ago...

6) I was about to file a motion to try to force court to change my financial obligation during this pendente lite period based on the fact that she does indeed work and that i no longer live there but yet she still is getting a free ride.....but now that she "lost her job"..i dont know what my next move is....


because she is getting a free ride, she has no incentive to mediate, settle or end the divorce because it means that the gravy train is over...she is totally content to just have things last like this for as long as possible so its in her best interest to delay this and make it last as long as possible while im forced to cover all expenses...

how do i remove this comfort from her?
Last edited by truemort on Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:39 pm

So in this case, it seems like her lost job is more of a sideshow issue, in that it did does not affect your current financial situation. For that, you need to go about things properly with a vocational evaluation in order to get income properly imputed to her. If quitting or getting fired was all it took to get on the lifetime support train everybody would do it.

For now, what is your attorney recommending? To me you have to somehow get in front of a judge to get some emergency relief and an order to get that house sold ASAP. Otherwise, if you just stop paying the mortgage when you are ordered to do so, you run the risk of violating the order.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:00 pm

JimRockford wrote:So in this case, it seems like her lost job is more of a sideshow issue, in that it did does not affect your current financial situation. For that, you need to go about things properly with a vocational evaluation in order to get income properly imputed to her. If quitting or getting fired was all it took to get on the lifetime support train everybody would do it.

For now, what is your attorney recommending? To me you have to somehow get in front of a judge to get some emergency relief and an order to get that house sold ASAP. Otherwise, if you just stop paying the mortgage when you are ordered to do so, you run the risk of violating the order.


yes its a sideshow that muddies waters a bit....

my attorney had recommended filing a motion to get emergency relief but now in light of her losing her job my attorney is fears that this might backfire with me being ordered to further support her....

it was actually under my attorney advice to stop paying mortgage for a month or 2 and use that money to catch up on other bills...because the current order puts me on the hook to pay more monthly expenses than i can actually afford!

but the water has been muddied now with her losing her job because she had a job all this time with ability to earn 83k per year but deliberately would work abbreviated hours because she was getting a free ride...

so...im guessing i should get my attorney to file a motion to get in front of judge to get an order to get house sold?
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