STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:33 pm

truemort wrote:Why would she want to get me off the deed if she doesnt have to?
Whether you realize it or not, your name on that deed is a bona-fide bargaining chip. Trouble is, you've got a propensity for minimizing what precious few bargaining chips you actually have. Have you taken a thorough inventory of your bargaining chips??

In this game, whether it's little or whether it's much, you've gotta use what you've got. At the race track, "You run what you brung." For the rest of us, "You play the hand you've been dealt."

Bottom line: Sooner or later, whether it's now, or whether it's 20 years hence, she's gonna want your name off that deed. And whether you realize it or not, you're gonna want your name off that deed too - prior to divorce being finalized is much preferred.

In case no one's told you, your name on that deed has significant potential for financial entanglement and/or liability. The trick however, is getting your name off that deed and getting something of significance in return all at the same time.

truemort wrote:.....I have been locked into a pendente lite order that forces me to cover 95% of all expenses.....
And what are you getting in return??

Stated differently, in addition to her low wage status, is she getting all the tax benefits for 2016??.....Dependent deductions??.....Head of Household??.....Interest deduction on HER mortgage??.....etc??

If she's relying on this, what are you relying on??
truemort wrote:I have been relying on hard evidence.....
Hard evidence?? Who told you this??

Q: Why is it incumbent upon you to hold yourself to such a high standard??.....when preponderance is all that's necessary??

truemort wrote:It seemed as if I "had to" move out due to the constant abuse/DV.
$64 Q: Were you forced to move out by court order??

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Cropduster » Sat Apr 22, 2017 11:13 pm

OP....You need to consult with another atty as Tom has suggested.. I'm in Jersey and although my divorce was 12 years ago, the conditions were similar regarding finances, support and custody..However I didn't leave the house even after two false DV claims that were litigated.

I had one of the best family atty's in Jersey..Feel free to PM me if you're interested in contact info
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Cropduster » Sat Apr 22, 2017 11:25 pm

Sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been addressed..But how much of an income offset exists?
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:19 am

Cropduster wrote:Sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been addressed..But how much of an income offset exists?


I earn typically between 135 and 150k per year as a 1099 employee software developer paid to my LLC business name.

She would typically earn anywhere between 55 to 65k as a W2 employee until she left her job in 2014.

In 2015, she re-entered the workforce as a 1099 software developer just like me and had a contract at 40/hr or 80k per year...

this is the job she recently quit or was terminated from in March 2017.

She is arguing that her income potential is 20k (because she only made ~20k in 2016, yet had ability to earn 80k..)

She is also claiming that i "run a successful software company that requires valuation"...but meanwhile the LLC is simply a passthrough for our 1099 incomes because we were 1099 employees/consultants.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:25 am

$64 Q: Were you forced to move out by court order??

Tom


Yes. I stayed put the duration through it all (the DV, etc). Until at my motion hearing, where i requested a proper parenting schedule she asked for exclusive use of the home and it was granted and I was granted the 2-2-3 50/% custody i was gunning for.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Cropduster » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:16 pm

Well hopefully your atty is arguing the fact of her being willingly under-employed due to the matters at hand. The court will impute income as a last resort. But as noted, your atty should be all over this.

Granting her sole use of the residence strikes me as odd. Is there something more to this DV charge you bring up? Didn't your atty argue that "you have no place to go" and cannot afford another residence? Unless there is evidence of DV, rarely do I see a court "throwing you out". The police telling you that you cannot stay is one thing, the court is another.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby truemort » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:34 pm

Cropduster wrote:Granting her sole use of the residence strikes me as odd. Is there something more to this DV charge you bring up? Didn't your atty argue that "you have no place to go" and cannot afford another residence? Unless there is evidence of DV, rarely do I see a court "throwing you out". The police telling you that you cannot stay is one thing, the court is another.


See the thing is, the motion hearing was not even about the DV.....the motion hearing was about correcting the previous judge's ridiculous order that gave me non overnite parenting time while still living in the home (which made no sense).....prior to the motion hearing we had a trial on the DV and Restraining orders which was thrown out due to "lack of evidence on the predicate act". When the DV occured, I immediately contacted police and got a RO against her and had her removed from the home....Strangley, the very next day she went and got a RO against me which was a moot point at that point...nonetheless, a month later a trial occurred on the DV/RO's an dthe judge tossed both of them, thus placing her back in the home...

Meanwhile, I had a pending motion hearing that I was waiting to be heard from months prior on other various issues including thee whole "non overnite parenting time" fiasco which was making my life miserbale because the stbx would interpret that as me not being allowed to see/interact with children in the evenings/while they are sleeping....(she would lock them away in other rooms, etc whle im sleeping in the home..under the argument that "I have non overnite parenting time"...)..when that motion hearing occured, thats when my stbx argued for exclusive use of the home (since I was asking for 50% custody/parenting time of children), and she argued that I have family that lives close by where I can live at and parent children from during my 50% when meanwhile she has no family and no where to go.

The judge granted her request giving me 50/50 and stating "its bizarre that the 2 of you are attempting to cohabitate under vitriolic circumstances".... but effectively removed me from the home while at the same time I still have the lingering prior pendente lite financial obligation active to cover all expenses.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby Cropduster » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:30 pm

truemort wrote:
Cropduster wrote:The judge granted her request giving me 50/50 and stating "its bizarre that the 2 of you are attempting to cohabitate under vitriolic circumstances".... but effectively removed me from the home while at the same time I still have the lingering prior pendente lite financial obligation active to cover all expenses.


That's the biggest bunch of crap. I did it...For over a year even after two failed DV claims from my ex. It's far from uncommon. I wonder how long this judge has been sitting on a "family court" bench. Regardless of why you left or were forced to leave, leaving the residence is slowly establishing a status quo. Where she might fight for the residence in the future and get it. Under a large portion of your dime. Which i assume is the pendente lite hearing in the future.

The biggest thing for me during all the bs I went through was getting 50/50 of my kids. Which eventually occurred and appears you have established that. So moving forward, is litigating anything worth it? Seems you're just sending your atty's kid through one year of schooling. And it is my opinion your atty is not right for you.

Do you plan on selling the marital residence? If you want to keep it, is a buyout an option for you financially?
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 28, 2017 12:46 pm

OP:

I see two problems here, and the title of this post is not one of them. Yes, that's an issue, but it is really a sideshow. However, Your issues are:

1. This order which has you paying for the house and SS to her
2. Your attorney that let you get into this situation even though you were the DV victim

Given that your attorney is also advising you to violate a court order and not wanting you to fight this in fear that you will tick off the judge, is proof that he is either lazy, incompetent or has capitulated to the other side.

You need to get a new attorney ASAP that will fight this for you, or you are going to needlessly go down in flames. You also need to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and post the issue appropriately, as you posted this on April 5th. I believe that had you posted it correctly, other members could have more quickly helped ride to your rescue.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: STBX conveniently "lost" her job...what now?

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 28, 2017 1:32 pm

Do you owe your attorney any money right now?
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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