The money is still in my 401K and cannot be transferred to her until the judge signs the stipulation. The stip has like a $20 filing fee that she claims that she is too poor to pay, so she dropped it off without paying the fee and the court won't move it to the judge without the fee. Even after the fee has been paid, the amount on the stipulation for the 401K provider has already been established, to change that would require having the outfit that did the QDRO to update the amount and draft a new stipulation. Had she paid the fee, this would have been taken care of months ago, and the money would have been in her account earning returns. So in the meantime, my account benefits from the total balance.
Her whole game right now is, "I'm so poor and no one will hire me because I'm 50 years old, so I need lifetime alimony at half of Jim's salary." Never mind that she's an experienced attorney licensed in two states. However, to play this out at the level she is, is beyond stupid. I mean if you were going to go that route, I'm sure there is form that you could file with the court that would waive the fees, but she won't file it, as I'm sure that when they would dig into her financial situation, they would see her for what she is.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.