Deferred status / reconciliation question

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Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby BigDog » Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:07 pm

Hello all. My wife and I got divorced 4 years ago. We did a (deferred status divorce) so that she could keep using my health benefits... (not sure what deferred status even means). Anyhow, we are back together dating, and thinking about moving back in together (into her house).

Question 1. If I do move back in (using her/our place as my home of residence) will that be considered reconciliation?

Question 2. She is in debt (IRS and medical bills both in collections), she doesn't have a job so they aren't garnishing anything because there isn't anything to collect. If I move back in can they garnish my check? or do we have to submit reconciliation papers for the courts to know that I am living back there and were together again?

We live in Ca
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby CentralORdad » Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:16 pm

Why would you do this to yourself???
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby BigDog » Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:21 pm

We have 2 kids together and we do love each other...
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby JimRockford » Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:31 pm

BigDog wrote:We did a (deferred status divorce)


Are you talking about a bifurcated divorce where you settled property and support, but are otherwise legally still married? California is one of a few places where you can do this. If that is the case, I don't believe you really have to do anything.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby BigDog » Tue Mar 07, 2017 6:34 pm

yes that is exactly what we did... I talked with the mediator that handled our case and she said that if I move back in then we are legally reconciled... I would think that you would have to report something to the courts for that to happen but...?
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby JimRockford » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:09 pm

In your case, I think it is six of one half a dozen of the other, as since you are still married once you move back in the clock starts all over again as if you just got married and your community property would start again as of that date. If there is no child support or alimony, I don't think you have to do anything.

However, you mentioned her house and her IRS and medical debt. That implies to me that the house is now her separate property. If you as the 'Kind soul" make contributions to her debts and the marriage goes south again, I am guessing that that money will be gone and you will have no interest in her house from the date of separation to the date that you resume living together. Your interest in the house will be limited to what you paid in from that day forward. The only things that could change that would be, you going on the title or signing over her interest as community property.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:32 pm

You will need to notify the Court of your change of address.
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:35 pm

You are crazy if you do this without setting some criteria...like her working full time. She suckered you for health insurance...now it's her debt...what's next?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby JimRockford » Wed Mar 08, 2017 12:08 am

Early on in my divorce process I went to a workshop where a mediator recommended this approach. In a traditional bifurcation you get a divorce now, and settle the assets later, this method turns that around to sell it as more of a kinder and gentler approach to divorce, where you don't have to completely pull the plug, plus have the advantage of tax deductions for health insurance and filing joint taxes. I must admit at first I thought it sounded like a great idea, as I was thinking more of the financial aspects than any reconciliation. Then I woke up.

When you look deeper into it all it does it maintain an unhealthy attachment for two people that should only have ties in regard to their children.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Deferred status / reconciliation question

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 7:41 am

One chance, per person, per lifetime.

Sounds to me like she is using you.
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