Unusual situation

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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:12 am

Life sucks and then you die, I'm just waiting my turn to hang up the tennies.


Life cycles. There's ups and downs. You weren't crying about how terrible life is when you fell in love, when you got married and when you're children were born.

You'll get through this and ride that upside again if you'll give it a chance.
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Kimo » Fri Feb 17, 2017 4:28 pm

OK, she called the kids into it. Both came over and talked to her. She told them what happened.

APPARENTLY I was giving my grand daughter "Zerbits" on the belly and when I raised up she quickly rolled over and I started going back to do it again and stopped BEFORE touching her on the back side.

She told the kids she knew it was wrong when she was saying it but it was already said. She does not know why I'm mad.

So, the boys came and talked to me and Both say they are confident that nothing happened. They talked to her about her mental health and all the things I was accused of all these years and they have seen some themselves. They told her she needs to get some kind of help.

They hoped to smooth things over but I told them I was done. She changed my life permanently.

They are going to get together and decide what THEY want for her. I offered the property and everything I own except my truck, tools and my income. She can leave but I will still keep my income, truck and tools. The three of them will be deciding which option is best for her.

She is really trying to get them to make it all better but they understand that I am FINALLY done and plan on helping her make the decision in what she will do.

I've made my list of things to take if I am the one that leaves or keep if I stay.

Kids are VERY disappointed but completely understand and support my decision.

She is staying with one of the boys until further decisions are made.

We will see what happens.
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Timeflies » Fri Feb 17, 2017 5:37 pm

Listen to the advice you've been given. Go talk to a mental health counselor if you need to vent. But don't waste another minute not putting what you've been told into motion.

Accusations can be made at anytime. Like you've been told keep dvr running at all times. Hire a lawyer and get the process started now! Don't wait for her to tell you what she wants. Who cares! Start the process now.

She is extremely dangerous, I know because my Sbtx had some lines like that in the beginning. Until I developed a backbone. You can too!
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:53 pm

Kimo wrote:They are going to get together and decide what THEY want for her. I offered the property and everything I own except my truck, tools and my income. She can leave but I will still keep my income, truck and tools. The three of them will be deciding which option is best for her.

WTF man. Are you saying that your kids are negotiating your divorce terms for you? Seriously?
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Kimo » Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:48 am

Let me start by saying that I am going to make an assumption that most of you guys have not been married 39 years. No matter what happens you have to think that the other person has been a part of your life almost your entire life.

As a younger person it may not be so hard to just flip a switch and stop caring about your family, her as well as the kids. This is killing my kids. We talked for hours and they are trying everything they can to get me to try to patch things up. By not try in to patch things up (AGAIN). it is tearing them apart as well.

Do I want to be married to her any longer? No
Do I want her to live under a bridge and not get the medicines she needs to not die? NO
Do I want her to not see Doctors, eat or not have a bed? No.
Do I want my sons to be disappointed in me for this? No

Now as I said from the start, I don't have much of an income and virtually no money in the bank. I do own land and a mobile home free and clear, two cars and some "Stuff."

Most the "Stuff", is no big deal and was here to please her, I have my tools and things. Do I want little figurines, stereo, furniture? Not really don't use it much anyway, so I might as well let her have all that stuff.

I am moving on so why not let her have the place? I'm not a "I got to beat her down and ruin her forever kinda guy." I really don't care about the property.

I asked the boys to help her figure out what she wants because I can move on no matter what. She can't and no matter what she did she deserves something for the years together, bring my boys into the family and helping raise them to be respectful, responsible and honorable. I could sell the property but I would only get half and it would not be that much anyway and letting her have it would make my boys happier and help relieve any burden on them to support her than if I just open the door and throw her out.

My sons are men, good men and they are on my side as far as this was going too far and understand my needing to split. However, they don't want to see me be vindictive. They would understand but they would be disappointed in me. The boys are worth one hell of a lot more to me than a bit of cash. No matter what, she will be gaining problems and I will be set free, I'm good with that.

As for those that say I'm scared of her or don't have a backbone, well lets see you cut off an arm. Something that's been with you for a long time is hard to just get rid of. Plus as I stated before, even though I was done wrong I am unwilling to break the code I live by.

Are they negotiating my divorce? Yes and the worst they can do to me is what I am willing to do on my own.

I have the backbone to stand tall in the face of adversity, hope everyone here that can't will give it a try.

If your goal in your split is to destroy the other, maybe you need to look hard in the mirror. Split up and move on.
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Chaos » Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:55 am

It sounds like your kids will be there for both of you no matter what happens. Sure they'd rather you suck it up and deal, but they're going to support you both. That's pretty awesome. Good job dad. Good job both of you.

You're dealing with a personality disorder. You already know that. That sucks, but you've done it so long, it's a relief to be free. I get it. Personally, I'd rather see you nail her < hindquarters > to the wall, but I have my own history with false allegations. So I do not agree with your choice, but I respect it. You do you boo-boo. If you're good with it, so am I.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Timeflies » Sat Feb 18, 2017 3:23 pm

You do whatever you have to. You asked for advice, got it and didn't like it. I can't think of a worse allegation than sexual or inappropriate touching of child. If reported to the police or child services your butt is so far up crap creek you won't know what to do. Good luck, report back down the road and let us know what happened...
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Re: Unusual situation

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:42 pm

Were a tactic and strategy group and see your situation all the time. Doesn't matter if it's been 5, 10,15 or ever 39 years of marriage. People fall in love initially and it's always hard to break it off. your 39 years of marriage means little and can happen to anyone.

We will warn you of the possible dangers and spare you the cuddling and hand-holding that some come her looking for. We are not going to sugar coat our advice and hope you head some of the words written. Don't take it personal. Sometimes the truth is hard to hear. Remember you came here asking for advice.

If all is said regarding your wife and her mental state, your looking at a fight in court. This is going to split your family. Some will side with you and some will side with your wife. Bank on that.

I wouldn't be so quick to give her all the "Stuff". You will need to live on something. The sooner you begin thinking of your needs and not hers the better you both will fare. You in a fog of divorce and most people don't think clearly or want to fall on the sword and give into all the demands just to get it over. That is where mistakes that last a lifetime happen.

Recorder 24/7 when around her.
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Protect yourself and your assets.
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