Let me start by saying that I am going to make an assumption that most of you guys have not been married 39 years. No matter what happens you have to think that the other person has been a part of your life almost your entire life.
As a younger person it may not be so hard to just flip a switch and stop caring about your family, her as well as the kids. This is killing my kids. We talked for hours and they are trying everything they can to get me to try to patch things up. By not try in to patch things up (AGAIN). it is tearing them apart as well.
Do I want to be married to her any longer? No
Do I want her to live under a bridge and not get the medicines she needs to not die? NO
Do I want her to not see Doctors, eat or not have a bed? No.
Do I want my sons to be disappointed in me for this? No
Now as I said from the start, I don't have much of an income and virtually no money in the bank. I do own land and a mobile home free and clear, two cars and some "Stuff."
Most the "Stuff", is no big deal and was here to please her, I have my tools and things. Do I want little figurines, stereo, furniture? Not really don't use it much anyway, so I might as well let her have all that stuff.
I am moving on so why not let her have the place? I'm not a "I got to beat her down and ruin her forever kinda guy." I really don't care about the property.
I asked the boys to help her figure out what she wants because I can move on no matter what. She can't and no matter what she did she deserves something for the years together, bring my boys into the family and helping raise them to be respectful, responsible and honorable. I could sell the property but I would only get half and it would not be that much anyway and letting her have it would make my boys happier and help relieve any burden on them to support her than if I just open the door and throw her out.
My sons are men, good men and they are on my side as far as this was going too far and understand my needing to split. However, they don't want to see me be vindictive. They would understand but they would be disappointed in me. The boys are worth one hell of a lot more to me than a bit of cash. No matter what, she will be gaining problems and I will be set free, I'm good with that.
As for those that say I'm scared of her or don't have a backbone, well lets see you cut off an arm. Something that's been with you for a long time is hard to just get rid of. Plus as I stated before, even though I was done wrong I am unwilling to break the code I live by.
Are they negotiating my divorce? Yes and the worst they can do to me is what I am willing to do on my own.
I have the backbone to stand tall in the face of adversity, hope everyone here that can't will give it a try.
If your goal in your split is to destroy the other, maybe you need to look hard in the mirror. Split up and move on.