Her imputed income

Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:51 pm

It's tough.

I've been pretty good at setting boundaries. Looking to protect yourself, looking to divorce, want advice on how to end a relationship, I might be your guy.

Maintaining a LTR, not so much.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 36389
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:44 pm

lionel,
Don't you see, it doesn't matter what you would have done you would have been the bad guy.

Keep the CC - and your labeled as an abusive controlling husband who wouldn't let her do what she wanted.

Give her the CC - and your not setting boundaries and your Credit takes crapper or your so far in debt.

Either way, it's not her fault.


My Ex just lied and racked up the CC. She figured it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I say it's poor communication, over spending, and those extra Dixs that ruined my fun.
Phoenix
User avatar
Phoenix853
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1512
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:50 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Feb 23, 2017 2:54 pm

Don't you see, it doesn't matter what you would have done you would have been the bad guy.

Keep the CC - and your labeled as an abusive controlling husband who wouldn't let her do what she wanted.


Bad guy to her. Labeled abusive by her.


To the sane, she is an irresponsible spender that cant be allowed unrestricted access to money that isnt hers.



You have to be your own person, of your own mind. If you are all that concerned about what others think of you, you probably need some bigger problems.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 36389
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:02 pm

Personally, I had no debt when I divorced (after was a different story). I was accused by her and attorney of being controlling because I didn't allow her to have her own credit card, instead of a joint credit card.

I shut down the excessive spending after her $10K trip to Spa and had them tear up the contract since I was lied too.

I didn't care about playing the bad guy, as long as I had food on the table and roof over my kids head.
Phoenix
User avatar
Phoenix853
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1512
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:50 pm
Location: Arizona

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby lionel2013 » Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:47 pm

If you are all that concerned about what others think of you, you probably need some bigger problems.


As I said, I was afraid she would accuse me of being controlling and of demeaning her.

She accused me of those things anyway, then she cheated (at least emotionally) on me, then she filed anyway, despite my efforts over four months to save our marriage.

So yep, what I did was not at all helpful, but hindsight is always 20/20, no doubt.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
User avatar
lionel2013
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1991
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 9:29 pm
Location: Northern Illinois

Re: Her imputed income

Unread postby lionel2013 » Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:59 pm

Another big mistake I made (as if the rest of them weren't enough) is that I never told anyone about this until after the divorce. Not my parents, not my sister, none of my friends. Nobody. I thought I was sheltering her and my family from aggravation and embarrassment. I'm thinking, had I talked to somebody about it, maybe somebody would have slapped me silly and made me wake up. But nope, I kept my mouth shut until it was too late.

So this is one huge lesson learned, hopefully some of the men reading this will take note and not make the same mistake.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
User avatar
lionel2013
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1991
Joined: Sun May 19, 2013 9:29 pm
Location: Northern Illinois

Previous

Return to Finances & Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests