Havalu7 wrote:Can you give us an elevator pitch of say 10 floors with four or five points of what you would do over and four or five things you feel you did right?
Sorry for writing too much. I thought more detail would be better.
- Stay in the house until progress was being made and a divorce was imminent.
- I started off paying all of her house bills (since it was a joint mortgage and she had no income) and I would put money in her hand whenever she would ask for it. I would have forced a judge to determine temporary support which would have highlighted that we could not afford to keep the house and my apartment and pay all of the bills.
- Similar to above, but force the sale of the home sooner.
- Realize sooner that all she wanted to do was feed the lawyers. She was unwilling to make a decision on her own without a $300 lawyer consultation. I would have completed a cost/benefit analysis of the remaining contested issues and just given up sooner to put less money in lawyers pockets.
- Settle, settle, settle. In hindsight, the whole process was a waste of time and money. The final divorce outcome was marginally different than what would have been agreed if we started in mediation.
- The kids. I spent as much time as I was permitted with my kids. I took them for mental health therapy. Initially they hated the idea, but after the first session, they were open and willing to continue.
- Always communicated respectfully. She had no evidence of me writing mean, nasty things but I had a stack of emails and texts that were inappropriate.
- Settled (eventually). If I had done the deposition and trial, there would have been bigger lawyer bills and no money left to share.