Need some advice about keeping the house

Get financial tips on divorce and asset division including child support laws, property division, and divorce settlements.

Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Indiana44 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:31 am

My wife and I have 2 kids 2,6. We are getting divorced in Indiana, and she was caught having an affair. We have come to terms that divorce is the only option. She's a teacher but stopped working 2 years ago to be with the baby. She has no income and we have a 250k house. I make 100k a year, and can afford the house with the child support payments. She's leaning on me to keep the mortgage and let her keep the house so that the kids won't have to move. I know there is a huge risk in doing that and I don't want to. Our house has about 50/60k equity in it. Should I even consider it? Her parents already said they could all move in which I think would be better for her and the kids then her struggling to make ends meet when she gets a job.
Indiana44
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:40 am

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:58 am

No.

Absolutely not. You should not have financial entanglements after the divorce.

Let me guess - the mother says your mortgage payment would be in lieu of child support?
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 26772
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Indiana44 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:28 am

She crunched all the numbers and said she can make payments when she is working. She just can't take on the loan because she's been out of work for 2 years. As a teacher she will have steady pay, but I won't be able to get a loan on a new house. Says that the kids need to stay in that house, but it's financially a pain for everyone except her. I love my kids and would do anything for them. But I don't think this is as much about them as it is about her
Indiana44
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:40 am

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby madalex » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:36 am

Do you even remember the house you lived in when you were 6 years old? Probably not.

Your kids aren't going to be scarred for life if you have to sell the house and they have to move. Do not do what you STBX asks. Work through the divorce. Get 50/50 custody. If she wants and can afford the house, let her buy you out. But do not under any circumstances agree to let her live there after the divorce while you remain on the mortgage.
madalex
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 918
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:28 am

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:38 am

No.

Absolutely not. <---- do you see the period?

If the mother cannot refinance it now on her own, then it isn't up for discussion.

And you are ignoring the obvious - she has tested her value in the marketplace, and she will not be single by this time next year. How would you feel about making the mortgage payments while her Mr. Wonderful is living there, too?
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 26772
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:53 am

The kids don't have to move. They stay there living with you. That way she can continue hooring around to her heart's content.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23422
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby BrilliantBastard » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:57 am

Here the injured party seeks and typically gets exclusive use of the marital home. I would start the process to force her out.
User avatar
BrilliantBastard
500+ Posts
 
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:53 am

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:10 pm

She just wants the the comfort and spoils of being married without actually being married.

She is hoping that you are weak enough to buy into her "it's all about the kids" nonsense.

My opinion is always to sell the house. No one gets it.
the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it
lovingfatherof2
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2483
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Havalu7 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:16 pm

OP you can do this and while not easy the home is a major bargaining chip so do not give it away.

End all entanglements and force her out. The process and day to day gets stressful; but with proper preparation and mental focus on your end game it's doable.

Stay close to the forum for more strategy and keep that covert digital voice recorder humming in your pocket to protect your self against false domestic violence charges.
She may be being coached so stay focused and sharp.

The goal line is in sight and the game (some say war) has begun.
”No.” is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
User avatar
Havalu7
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1677
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:43 am

Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Indiana44 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:36 pm

Haha thanks for all the advice. I'm glad there is a place for men like this. I really didn't expect much of a response. I am totally for selling the house. She downplays the value of it, and in no time soon would she ever be able to pay me off. My intentions are to tell her tough < feces >. I do like the, "she tested the marketplace and found her value" that's awesome. I was really just curious if anyone had gone through this. I was at home taking care of my kids and being a good father when all this < feces > went down. She deserves what she has coming to her.
Indiana44
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:40 am

Next

Return to Finances & Divorce Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: dadforever and 8 guests