Need some advice about keeping the house

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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:57 pm

Indiana44 wrote:.....I have decided that theres no reason to not go for 50/50 custody.
Good decision. You have nothing to lose.

Indiana44 wrote:Does anyone know what role having evidence of the affair will have in Indiana?
Adultry makes a difference in some Southern states. But in IN, it'll make no difference. You should check with your attorney on this.

Indiana44 wrote:I have looked into nannies for my kids.....better than giving her $1100 a month.
You get a child care tax credit on one of these options. The other is tax-free money. Can you guess which is which??

Tom
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Indiana44 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:11 am

Well I ran the numbers, if I get child care for the kids and she goes back to work she will be paying me. Unless she does the same but my guess is she'll use her parents to watch the kids. On top of that my work gives a yearly 1800 credit for child care so I'll recoup even more. I'm just afraid for some reason I won't get 50/50. Stbx will freak when she finds out I'm fighting her and Indiana says they'll do 50/50 if the parties can agree. I can live with her seeing the kids all she wants, it's their mom, but if she finds out she's not getting the house she might fight me. I have no baggage or ghosts for her to find. I work, play sports and take care of my kids. Not much more to me then that.
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby steelmark » Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:40 am

Indiana44 wrote:I'm just afraid for some reason I won't get 50/50.


Fear will bury you. You need adopt the mentality that you will stop at absolutely nothing to achieve 50/50.

You must be willing to go to the mat.

You have one shot at this.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:31 am

Indiana44 wrote:Indiana says they'll do 50/50 if the parties can agree


If you haven't already, you'll want to review the following statute that defines the factors the judge will use to determine custody and plan your case accordingly:

IC 31-17-2-8
Custody order
Sec. 8. The court shall determine custody and enter a custody order in accordance with the best interests of the child. In determining the best interests of the child, there is no presumption favoring either parent. The court shall consider all relevant factors, including the following:
(1) The age and sex of the child.
(2) The wishes of the child's parent or parents.
(3) The wishes of the child, with more consideration given to the child's wishes if the child is at least fourteen (14) years of age.
(4) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with:
(A) the child's parent or parents;
(B) the child's sibling; and
(C) any other person who may significantly affect the child's
best interests.
(5) The child's adjustment to the child's:
(A) home;
(B) school; and
(C) community.
(6) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved.
(7) Evidence of a pattern of domestic or family violence by either parent.
(8) Evidence that the child has been cared for by a de facto custodian, and if the evidence is sufficient, the court shall consider the factors described in section 8.5(b) of this chapter.


I can also tell you from personal experience that Indiana does not require the parents to agree in order to award 50/50 physical custody. I will say that custody awards can differ quite a bit from county to county in Indiana, some more progressive towards shared 50/50 physical custody, and others that rubber stamp the standard EOW parenting schedule.
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:12 pm

Indiana44 wrote:I'm just afraid for some reason I won't get 50/50.
Unless you take off the gloves and pin her to the mat, you'll never get 50/50.

In this game you hafta be willing to step out of your comfort zone. You hafta be willing to push the envelope. And you hafta become even more willing to take risks. Because he who risks little gets little.

Indiana44 wrote:Stbx will freak when she finds out I'm fighting her.....
She can freak out 'til hell freezes. This is her weakness. And it's incumbent upon you to capitalize on that weakness and use it to your advantage. You've got nothing to lose.

Disconnect your buttons, Bro. She's not your wife any more.

Indiana44 wrote:.....Indiana says they'll do 50/50 if the parties can agree.
That's why you hold her feet to the fire and get her to settle out of court.

BTW - The rules are there are no rules. This is where surprises come into play. Surprises are what knock the other side off balance. Surprises are what level the playing field.

FYI - The vast majority of cases are settled at the 11th hour on the courthouse steps. That's what you've gotta prepare for.

Indiana44 wrote:.....but if she finds out she's not getting the house she might fight me.
Let her fight.

Never lose sight of the fact that the marital residence is your soft underbelly. He who gets the house also gets the kids.

Remember, you get exactly one chance to get this right. There are no do-overs. Whether they realize it or not, your kids are counting on you.

Tom
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Indiana44 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:12 pm

I understand totally about going all out. I have zero care for her or what happens to her. Personally I want her life to turn to < feces >. I want her crying cause she messed up. I want my kids with me and under my care. I also want them to have her cause she's there mom, but beyond that I want nothing to do with her. She can't afford the house so she will never get the house. Is it better to fight for full custody instead of 50/50? I work 6-2, she works 8-4. That's the only difference except she's not working yet. Also once I file can I move my direct deposit into my new account? I pay all the bills so why should she have access to any of it
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Re: Need some advice about keeping the house

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Feb 27, 2017 9:29 pm

Indiana44 wrote:.....she's not working yet.
There's absolutely no reason why she can't get a job right now. But as a matter of strategy, I'll bet she's gonna hold off getting a job for as long as possible. Q: Can you guess why?? A: She's gonna pull the SAHM and "tender years" card.

Indiana44 wrote:Is it better to fight for full custody instead of 50/50?
As a general rule, he who gets the house also gets the kids. Do not move out of your house.

Indiana44 wrote:She can't afford the house so she will never get the house.
Perhaps not. But she can still get Temporary Exclusive Use and become Temporary Primary Parent until divorce is finalized. And what she gets in the way of a temporary order today will undoubtedly become permanent at trial.

Indiana44 wrote:Also once I file can I move my direct deposit into my new account?
You should be doing that right now. You should also be implementing austerity measures.

Tom
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