MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:17 pm

A woman who divorces after 46 years of marriage is not doing it for the money.

It's symbolic, a fantasy, or just something on her bucket list, but it's not for the money.

You should dispute your belief that you will be rid of her if you settle - the settlement she want is to asssure your future entanglement. She is not going to prattle around that house on her own, she will use it to mess with you.

You would be better off selling the house and splitting the proceeds. You are both retired with your respective passive income streams, alimony is not necessarily awarded in these cases as it is related to working and generating income. Liquidate the assets and split them - this alimony situation may not apply in your case as neither of you are working nor expected to work.

Do you have grandkids?
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Cyberbull1 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:06 am

Bart, Nail on the head, that's my first back up plan as I was the one that left. If she want's to be homeless I'm willing. My lawyer has all her web selling on paper. If we split and she does get alimony it's around 4 hundred max, my half of the equity would pay that monthly for years, and at 68 might not be that long. Just money in the bank for me. My head is clear. Just lawyer's can ruin a nice day with trick's. Hopefully the mediator will get it right. I appreciate all in put on this forum. It has been good for me. Truthful answer's and in-put from experienced men.
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:17 am

Mediator get's it right? Oh dear.

You don't have a clue what the mediator does. They have no authority, they have no obligation to be fair, nor truthful. They can lean on the weaker party to settle, and take a side.

The mediator only has one job - get a deal.

Here's the test for the success of mediation - can just you and the wifey sit at the kitchen table and hash out a deal? If yes, then mediation will work. If no, then mediation without a looming court date is useless - you must be able to get up from the table and say "Let's see what a Judge thinks."

So what's your answer to my kitchen table test?
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Cyberbull1 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:24 am

Bart, I'm on the same track, no quick deal, SELL. Only reason for mediation is it's required here in NC. Got to do it before or after. Look's good before I would think. Wifey can't sit and talk, brings out forty year's of crap. Come's down to court then sell, split and be done.
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:39 am

Looks don't matter. Not sure where you got that silly notion.

What is the minimum amount of time you must spend in mediation?
Will the two parties be in separate rooms? Mediator as go-between?
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Cyberbull1 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:55 am

Look's, like I'm trying to do what the court ask. Mediation separate rooms, cost split between parties. Lawyer's present. max 2 hours, $400 each !!
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Cyberbull1 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:57 am

Just a court ordered thing to cost more money and the court don't want to hear the whining
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby BartSimpson » Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:08 pm

The separate rooms prevents you from walking out. The skilled mediator will manage that circumstance so that you can't leave because it will seem very awkward.

I get you are doing what the Court asks, but the Court could actually ask again, so can the other party, and so can you. This session does not slam the door on future requirements for mediation; the Judges favorite trick to kick you both out of the Courtroom when it's about 40 years of wrong-doing.

Mediation is a massive drain on resources, and an incredible distraction in the process when preparation for trial would be much less expensive. I could do your divorce on the back of a napkin because it's just dividing by 2. What's there to mediate?

A two-hour deposition would cost you the same, get the wifey on record, and serve you far better than shuttle diplomacy in mediation. When mediation fails, and you are headed to trial, that same deposition will cost you twice the fees because of the added complexity of failed negotiations.

Have you read the posts in our Reference forum about mediation? Read the one by DefaultUser, he's around and would be happy to answer any questions you might have specific to your circumstances.
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:17 pm

Bart, Nail on the head, that's my first back up plan as I was the one that left.


Why now, after this long?
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: MY FIRST MEDIATION THIS WEEK

Unread postby Cyberbull1 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:22 pm

Bart, thanks for the link. Yes the back of a napkin is very exact, it's just the way to get there with NC law. The cost are controlled by the system, but sometime's some one comes along that don't want to play. Me 50-50 out of here. Just complying with the lawyer request. I stated one shot to my lawyer, this is it. Don't work, then sell it. As I said 50-50 will last a long time for me.
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