When she first told me she was giving it to her parents to put into an account, I took her back to court to get it reduced. She boo-hooed and said she had to go back to work full-time, so the court continued it, despite my objections and despite the fact that she never actually went back to work full-time. I didn't think I could appeal. Now he's 13 and is old enough to legally babysit other kids (per our state laws) and she still wants me to continue paying daycare, even though I KNOW she's still not using the money for that. I have objected in writing to her parents watching him in the past but she has ignored me. They are 78 and 83 years old and supposedly in and out of the hospital a lot, like every time I want to take him on vacation, when my family's in town, etc. Yet she still thinks they are capable day care providers.
In my state, child support and child care are two separate payments. My attorney says that there's a statute that states that the portion attributed to child care must be used for child care. Reducing that portion of it doesn't reduce my child support obligation. In essence, she's getting 30% more than she should be because she lied to the court. I'll still be paying over $1500 a month, even if the day care part goes away.
We're headed into mediation in the next month, in advance of a hearing, because her attorney has indicated that she will still need day care for him for the foreseeable future. Of course, if she'd let me see him, I could provide the "day care" he needs for free.
Yeah, I should have hopped on this sooner. I know that. It's hard to admit that I've let her bully and manipulate me into doing everything she asks, just to keep the peace. It's time for that to stop, though.