How screwed am I?

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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Lion1234 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 1:52 pm

I am 4+ months into "I want a divorce" and although it's gotten a lot easier emotionally, I still have days when I question her reasons. One thing to do is to not try an understand why it's happening, but just to accept it and not go on blaming yourself or even her. When I am on an emotional low, I WANT to talk to her, but I find this is when I am most vulnerable. It's best to not communicate at all in these times. It's probably best not to communicate at all, in fact.

But it will get better with time.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Schleprock » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:31 pm

Again, thanks guys. I don't know any of you, but I feel like you have my best interest in mind. I don't have too many people to talk to in person, and my wife, who has always been there to talk to pretty much acts like I don't exist unless it's the 1st or 15th... Getting easier to process every day I'm ignored.
Anyway, I managed to borrow the money for the retainer (which I hated to have to do) and I don't think she will have a way to hire an attorney on her own (any friends she could ask are broke dicks that I have had to help in the past). Would it be advisable to have the lawyer draft paperwork for how I see it getting split and hope she signs? Should I spring a court date on her?
Every day that goes by I can feel the chances of fixing this slipping away. That's what upsets me as much as anything. I stood up in front of God, and our families and friends and made a commitment. I don't have any words to describe how disappointed I am in myself. Helpless is a pretty good word.
I have temporarily sold a few things, and taking a vacation day to take some other stuff to my dad's house. But how much of my own things can I take before it's abandonment?
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Schleprock » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:40 pm

I'm 2 weeks into her dropping the D word and I'm already getting pissed off. No way I'm putting up with this treatment for months. If she (and 1 sd14) wants me gone, I'll be Keyser Soze... And the kiddos will have to find out the hard way we don't have a money tree in the back yard.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:45 am

Don't move out. Nothing drags a divorce out like moving out. She gets rid of you and you get ordered to pay the bills. She has no motivation to settle if you leave.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Schleprock » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:40 am

I don't plan on moving out again. I already did that once at her request and without really thinking. All it got me was broke. Who knows what her ignorant sisters are telling the kids, she's nuttier than squirrel poop and owes us about 30k. I don't expect to ever see that again
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:17 am

Her sister owes the both of you 30k? For your case, I hope you have sufficient proof it was a loan. Otherwise expect her sister and your wife to claim it was a "gift".
The only way out is through.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Schleprock » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:40 pm

HaltAndCatchFire wrote:Her sister owes the both of you 30k? For your case, I hope you have sufficient proof it was a loan. Otherwise expect her sister and your wife to claim it was a "gift".


That money is long gone. It's been years now but it's just icing on the cake.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby SoxFan1986 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:38 am

OP good job on borrowing the money and hiring a lawyer. Get her served with papers (ones that waive spousal support) ASAP. She will have two weeks respond and the ball will be back in her court. Whether she has money for a lawyer or not, is not your concern.
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Schleprock » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:51 pm

I'm going in on Monday to get the paperwork drawn up. Hopefully he can word it how I want and she signs. Shes pissed and says she doesn't want anything so we'll see how it goes. She started in on me today and tonight, blaming me for everything so I'll let her think it's her idea and just move it along. Look for a place starts tomorrow. I < edited > hate moving. Man I'm going to miss my dog
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Re: How screwed am I?

Unread postby Havalu7 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:58 pm

Dude DO NOT MOVE OUT!

Yes I am shouting at you. Get that digital audi recoder (DAR) running covertly if you have not already.

Did I say dont move out already?
"No." is a complete sentence.
Do not move out of your house.
What are you grateful for?
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