Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Lion1234 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 8:02 am

How would my moving to another state help? Or do you mean all of us move? She can file in NJ regardless where I live.

We can't sell the house before it's completed. it's just not possible.

She knows nothing we sign now is binding at this point. Better not have anything, than have something that gives you a false sense of security. IMHO, at least.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Jan 21, 2018 8:06 am

Is there a law in your state that prevents homeowners from selling a home as-is? Please cite that statute.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Lion1234 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 12:16 pm

That's not what I mean. There is no C of O, so no one can occupy the house. We would take a huge loss selling it in this condition. Not even sure how to get it appraised like this, no way to get the comps.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:14 pm

Lion1234 wrote:We would take a huge loss selling it in this condition.
As discussed above, consider the alternative.

Lion1234 wrote:How would my moving to another state help?
1) You'd be out of NJ jurisdiction.

2) The residency clock would re-start.

3) You'd buy yourself additional time to:
a] Implement austerity measures,
b] Build a well-orchestrated game plan, and
c] Establish status quo.

4) Hell, she might even get a job - because if she does, it would reduce both child support and alimony obligation.

Tom
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Lion1234 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:22 pm

1. She won't sell the house until it's finished
2. She won't move out of this town. Certainly, not until school year is over, if at all. She can file where she resides, not where I reside. It would only help if we both moved.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:35 pm

re: moving -
None of what I said wouldn't work unless you moved your entire family out of NJ.

Lion1234 wrote:1. She won't sell the house until it's finished
2. She won't move out of this town.

Sounds like someone's coaching her.

Q: How did your move from NY to NJ came about??
1) What were the circumstances?? and
2) Why, all of a sudden, the divorce??

Tom
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Lion1234 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:47 pm

We moved to NJ specifically because of the schools. We bought this house with thought of extending it, but for one reason or another it didn't work out. We knocked it down in July and started building a new one in its place. Meanwhile, we rented an apartment in town so the kids could attend local schools.

2-3 weeks after we moved (Sep 5th) she dropped the D-bomb on me. Whether she planned it or not (I believe she did), doesn't matter now.

No one is coaching her. She's been involved with real estate for many years, she knows what's what. One thing we both agree on is that we will not find better schools in NJ. These here are top 5% in the state, only Princeton might be better.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:30 pm

Lion1234 wrote:We moved to NJ specifically because of the schools.
Initially, whose idea was it to move??

Lion1234 wrote:2-3 weeks after we moved (Sep 5th) she dropped the D-bomb on me.
I'll bet a month's pay she talked you into it into moving.

Lion1234 wrote:Whether she planned it or not (I believe she did), doesn't matter now.
It does matter. It's a classic sign she's 10 steps ahead of you and you're having to playing catch-up; and you're having a tough time doing it.
Consider this:
1. She won't sell the house until it's finished
2. She won't move out of this town.
No foregone conclusion Bro, she's working her game plan. She's got you hemmed in on all sides. You've got no wiggle room.

Who's building the house?? Who's doing the actual work??
How are you paying for the build??

Tom
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby Lion1234 » Sun Jan 21, 2018 3:49 pm

Moving was a mutual decision. This particular town was the most affordable choice.

I understand how it looks, but I honestly do not believe she's working me. However, it doesn't matter what I believe - I will do what I think I need to do. Selling the house now is not the right move.

We have a contractor who is building it. Everything is being paid from our formerly joint account. Since I moved the money, no work has been performed unless it was already paid for.
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Re: Working on settlement, but cannot file yet

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:06 am

Lion1234 wrote:Since I moved the money, no work has been performed unless it was already paid for.
You have admitted you now control the money, are you going to keep funding the build? If so, why?

If you stop funding the build, what type of pressure with that put on your STBX? Think of all angles and post them here of what she might experience if you halt funding construction.
Last edited by LovingDadof2 on Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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