Facetime at your house when ex is a nutjob..

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Facetime at your house when ex is a nutjob..

Unread postby ScaredNConfused » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:55 am

First what does it matter to give your ex a little glimpse into your home? Do you have a St. Andrew's Cross in your living room that you don't want your ex to see? Really what is she going to gain with you stressing about it? I know my ex is likely telling everyone my house is filthy because she sees the kids toys on the floors for our S3 and D1, but you know what? It doesn't matter.

Your second part is something I still struggle with, while it does feel like intrusion into "my time", I'm working on a perspective shift of it's the kids time. If the ex wants to talk with the kids and the kids are willing at that age, let them.

Once my kids are older, I wouldn't be opposed to setting a rule that the facetime happens in their bedroom.
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Re: Facetime at your house when ex is a nutjob..

Unread postby lieu910 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:31 am

My children are now in their late and mid teens; however I have always allowed it and encouraged it despite a very strained relationship with my ex. In fact, I encourage my children to call and check in with their mother, especially on vacations, etc. I always try to give careful and pragmatic thought to decisions or actions that may show my children bias against their mother and seek solutions to avoid that perception.

What works for my household may not be applicable or practical with yours. I never felt any infringement on my privacy when they are face timing their mother, but it's understandable to me why people might. I guess if it were me, and the issue of privacy or feeling like she was trying to monitor things under my roof, then I might consider designating a room for face time with mom.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll come up with a solution that works best for you and your family. Be wary of those here that think they know your own situations better than you and have THE definitive answer. There is no one size fits all methodology to parenting.
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Re: Facetime at your house when ex is a nutjob..

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Tue Jan 16, 2018 8:41 am

hoosier_dad wrote:I allow it in their bedrooms only, and just audio outside of their rooms.

I do the same. When asked why, I responded to both children and XW with 'I want my privacy'.
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