School attendance

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

School attendance

Unread postby thenextstep84 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:22 pm

Hi all,

Thanks for the help you've given me thus far...and the saga continues for us...

D3, NY. I have parenting time every other weekend and one night a week on opposing weekend.

The current situation that doesn't sit well with me is that the X just decides under her own volition what days and times my daughter is in pre-school. We had a parent-teacher conference today and it seemed my daughter's teacher didn't want to get anyone in trouble but clearly stated that there was a problem with consistency in attendance. Both days and times she is dropped off is erratic.

So, am I being an overly sensitive Dad, or am I doing the right thing by re-enforcing a positive behavior of giving my daughter a consistent drop off/pick up schedule at school? I know she's young, but my gut tells me the right thing is for her to have a normalized schedule.

Thanks in advance...
thenextstep84
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:56 am

Re: School attendance

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:42 pm

thenextstep84 wrote:.....the X just decides under her own volition what days and times my daughter is in pre-school.
This will be a problem when D-3 enters K-12 - but not so much for pre-school.
At this stage, pre-school is akin to daycare. It's not required by the state.

But nevertheless, you should be documenting this in your well-written journal. You need to establish mother's behavior over time.
There may come a day when you'll need to show how this behavior started in pre-school and continued into K-12.

Are you getting copies of D-3's attendance records??

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7740
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: School attendance

Unread postby thenextstep84 » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:49 pm

Thanks Tom...I will be continuing to document.

I do not have a copy of the record, I did ask the teacher for it but was kind of blown off about it. Will ask again tomorrow morning at drop off.
thenextstep84
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:56 am

Re: School attendance

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Dec 21, 2017 11:52 pm

What does the child do when she's not in day care? Hang out with mom? Duct-taped to a chair in a closet while mom binges on crack?

There is no such thing as a necessary "consistency" for babysitter attendance. Just stop.

Think of it this way - if your child can adapt easily to a changing day care schedule, she'll better be able to adapt to the exponential change in the world all the more readily.

Sounds to me like daddy and babysitter have the bigger problem. One that may involve helocopopters.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23657
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: School attendance

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:13 am

thenextstep84 wrote:.....I did ask the teacher for it but was kind of blown off about it.
I'd say D-3's teacher is a gatekeeper, an important member of the other side. And in this game, the other side is everybody but you. That makes you an army of one.
That means it's incumbent upon you to manage your case personally, proactively, and preemptively.

D-3's teacher needs to know you're actively involved with D-3's academic career and her success is important to you. You should also take this opportunity to get acquainted with D-3's principal and office staff.

Here's the deal: Establishing contacts at every level is critical. You must never be afraid to take this attendance thing to the supervisor in charge. Never take "No" for an answer.

Bottom line: You need to know where you stand at D-3's school. For example, are you on the school's emergency contact list??

Like I said, pre-school for D-3 is not as important as K-12.
But nevertheless, pre-school for D-3 is also pre-school for you. It is here that you hone your skills for K-12 gatekeepers you will likely encounter - not to mention their cohorts in other in other fields.

Never lose sight of the fact that you are Dad. And whether D-3 knows it or not, she's counting on you.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7740
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: School attendance

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:27 am

Tom, Tom, Tom...seems you are indulging in a bit of the Oregon seven-leaf tonight. It's a day care, not a school. Turn down the Bob Marley tunes, put down the Doritos and Oreos. :)
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23657
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: School attendance

Unread postby a dad » Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:55 am

No need to document nor get attendance records until your child reaches the compulsory school age of 6yrs old in New York.
User avatar
a dad
Moderator
 
Posts: 9729
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 2:49 pm
Location: The Wild West

Re: School attendance

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:46 am

Manufactured drama.

Mother is under no duty to place D3 anywhere regularly other than dads court ordered parenting time.
User avatar
Fatheroffour
Moderator
 
Posts: 36721
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:37 am
Location: Top of the world

Re: School attendance

Unread postby empowering » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:14 am

Does Preschool enrollment really matter? My Ex wont even tell me where she enrolls my son in preschool during her days. I haven't bothered her as i dont want to open can of worms. I thought its from k-12 that really matters and even in our Decree, there is no mention about preschool or daycare.
empowering
New
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2017 12:18 pm

Re: School attendance

Unread postby a dad » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:55 pm

No.
User avatar
a dad
Moderator
 
Posts: 9729
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 2:49 pm
Location: The Wild West


Return to Parenting - Child Custody Forum and Child Support Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu and 8 guests