30 yr old, in the thick of it

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:41 pm

Campfire wrote:Boost,

It's quite possible she's setting you up to be arrested for domestic violence. Just so we are clear, it will be a felony charge.

You will be incarcerated. Your mugshot will be in the public domain.


You first line of defense to such garbage is to establish firm boundaries. Right now, you are France. You wanna be Russia.

If Guy haven't yet, could you please go to Wallymart tonight and pick up a digital audio recorder (DAR) and a jumbo pack of AAA batteries? Pick up the biggest SD card that will fit the DAR as well. Post the make and model of the recorder you pick up and we can provide helpful advice on that specific recorder.

This recorder is to be running 24/7, even if you are in a different county/state/country/planet. This is strictly a defensive measure. The only time anybody would typically know about this recorder is if you are being arrested for a false domestic violence claim. This recorder is an unbiased observer.

You are treading in shark filled waters and your manpon is missing. Eliminate this issue tonight.


Well yea. I’m not willing to meet with her anywhere anymore since this crap happened with the trespassing order. I’m definitely protecting myself at this point. I know I need to go get one. And I going to talk with my attorney about doing exchanges at the police surveillance area where they do Craigslist deals. It’s basically in a big parking lot, and 4 spaces have multiple cameras and are audio recorded as we’ll. The police officer I spoke with last night advised me to not meet with her one on one anymore. And I agree with that.

massdad1234 wrote:you are both drama queens. Back rubs? really? Get over it, you two need to live separate lives.

Do you have a DVR on your person? is the child spending the night with you?
s4boost wrote:My attorney is well aware of these interactions and plans to embarrass her in court.

You two are perfect for each other, a train wreck. Do you really want to play your petty drama out in the courts using up precious time?

We just broke up a month ago dude. Chill. I’m obviously dealing with a crazy person. Funny thing about crazy people is they often times make the other person (me) feel like they’re the problem. What exactly is dramatic about what I’ve said. We broke up a month ago. I have been trying to get her to agree to mediation to get at least something accomplished there. Clearly that’s not gonna happen. But once this motion was filed with a restraining order involved, I wanted my attorney to be equipped with the evidence he needs to prove that a restraining order is unnecessary and a tactical play by her attorney to make me look bad in court. Each time she hung out with me after I told her I received that motion, her case got weaker and weaker. You don’t hang out with people and bring them food when you’re trying to get a restraining order on them.

Moving forward, I have no reason or desire to meet with her or speak with her about anything other than our daughter. And o think it’s best to meet with LEO’s present, or at least where there is video.
s4boost
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:52 am

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby Campfire » Thu Nov 09, 2017 11:57 pm

Boost,

What you are describing is called "gaslighting". Don't feel embarrassed. I bought that T-shirt years ago and was far worse than you. I didn't even have any friends at the end. Pathetic, eh?


By the way, Walmart is still open. I missed being arrested by luck. How lucky do you feel? Stop telling us to "chill". We are on the same side. What really sucks is when a new member such as you posts about his incarceration. It sucks having to read about a guy who didn't think a $50 DAR was that necessary. Do what you wanna do, dude. I'm not buying it for you.
The List: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divor ... hp?t=13374


The question is how much conflict you can control, negate, or avoid.
Campfire
2.5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2914
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2014 11:12 pm
Location: Northern Illinois

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:15 am

Campfire wrote:Boost,

What you are describing is called "gaslighting". Don't feel embarrassed. I bought that T-shirt years ago and was far worse than you. I didn't even have any friends at the end. Pathetic, eh?


By the way, Walmart is still open. I missed being arrested by luck. How lucky do you feel? Stop telling us to "chill". We are on the same side. What really sucks is when a new member such as you posts about his incarceration. It sucks having to read about a guy who didn't think a $50 DAR was that necessary. Do what you wanna do, dude. I'm not buying it for you.


I’m losing friends as well. They’re sick of the drama. So am I.
I just went and bought one... with rechargeable batteries. Olympus vn 541pc

Question for you guys. I have a number of videos of my ex yelling screaming slamming doors crying uncontrollably. My attorney asked to see a couple of them and mentioned if we needed to we could have her psychologically evaluated. Does anyone have experience with this? In all reality she is a great nurturer, but she has major anger issues and her mood fluctuated rapidly and drastically. He mentioned that alone could cost 15-20k
s4boost
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:52 am

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:14 am

This says volumes, and it's the same sentence!!
s4boost wrote:In all reality she is a great nurturer

Betrays this
s4boost wrote:but she has major anger issues and her mood fluctuated rapidly and drastically.

Attempting to show how unfit the mother is is a terrible strategy and how lawyers get a new car. Your chance to screen out the mother before you inserted your penis inside her and made a baby is over, you cannot go to the courts and seek relief.
massdad1234
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1225
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2016 8:34 pm

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:18 pm

massdad1234 wrote:This says volumes, and it's the same sentence!!
s4boost wrote:In all reality she is a great nurturer

Betrays this
s4boost wrote:but she has major anger issues and her mood fluctuated rapidly and drastically.

Attempting to show how unfit the mother is is a terrible strategy and how lawyers get a new car. Your chance to screen out the mother before you inserted your penis inside her and made a baby is over, you cannot go to the courts and seek relief.


You’re right. I should have been more clear in my statement. She is a good nurturer to our child BUT Her mood fluctuates rapidly when dealing with me.
s4boost
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:52 am

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby vlsora » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:32 pm

s4boost wrote:
Campfire wrote:Boost,

What you are describing is called "gaslighting". Don't feel embarrassed. I bought that T-shirt years ago and was far worse than you. I didn't even have any friends at the end. Pathetic, eh?


By the way, Walmart is still open. I missed being arrested by luck. How lucky do you feel? Stop telling us to "chill". We are on the same side. What really sucks is when a new member such as you posts about his incarceration. It sucks having to read about a guy who didn't think a $50 DAR was that necessary. Do what you wanna do, dude. I'm not buying it for you.


I’m losing friends as well. They’re sick of the drama. So am I.
I just went and bought one... with rechargeable batteries. Olympus vn 541pc

Question for you guys. I have a number of videos of my ex yelling screaming slamming doors crying uncontrollably. My attorney asked to see a couple of them and mentioned if we needed to we could have her psychologically evaluated. Does anyone have experience with this? In all reality she is a great nurturer, but she has major anger issues and her mood fluctuated rapidly and drastically. He mentioned that alone could cost 15-20k


Don't waste money on a psych eval... that is not going to help you. learn to manage your lawyer. Those videos aren't going to matter much either. Forget the drama...

Like someone already said, the presumption in your state is joint. Focus on showing your a good dad and that you are capable of joint.

Your biggest weakness is clearly your not over your ex. Stop all contact with her unless it is about your kid. You guys are done, she is clearly not going to give you join so you will have to go to court and see it through. If you stop looking weak maybe she will fold before the trial when she realizes what the law is and that she has no case.
vlsora
New
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:50 pm

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby dadee_tx » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:52 pm

s4boost wrote:
You’re right. I should have been more clear in my statement. She is a good nurturer to our child BUT Her mood fluctuates rapidly when dealing with me.


Keep in mind that your child is still very young. When they get a little older and start asserting more independence ie. not doing exactly what Mom wants do you really think that she's going to be able to magically contain her temper? Leopards don't change their spots.
dadee_tx
100+ Posts
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2015 10:59 pm

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby afc » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:56 pm

s4boost wrote:
You’re right. I should have been more clear in my statement. She is a good nurturer to our child BUT Her mood fluctuates rapidly when dealing with me.



That doesnt mean she is unstable, just that she hates you.
afc
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7555
Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:22 pm

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 2:06 pm

Op great job on getting the DAR! This will somewhat alieve a worry that you can now shelve and concentrate on the game plan you must employ here. The gents and auxiliary here WILL help you as you can see.

Now make sure no one and I mean no one including your kids, family, atty, buddies NO ONE is to know about that recording device as you have been told it may save you from a falsely accused FELONY.

Let that soak in brohammer FELONY. Don't be the Thatguy who comes back here and says "I should have listened to you guys here and had that thing going 24-7". Trust me it has happened many times here and we don't want it to be you.

Stay close to the forum and I see that your skin is thickening up as you swallow you pride and ill-conceived notions that we ALL had when we first got in this spot.
”No.” is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
User avatar
Havalu7
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1672
Joined: Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:43 am

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Fri Nov 10, 2017 3:46 pm

vlsora wrote:
s4boost wrote:
Campfire wrote:Boost,

What you are describing is called "gaslighting". Don't feel embarrassed. I bought that T-shirt years ago and was far worse than you. I didn't even have any friends at the end. Pathetic, eh?


By the way, Walmart is still open. I missed being arrested by luck. How lucky do you feel? Stop telling us to "chill". We are on the same side. What really sucks is when a new member such as you posts about his incarceration. It sucks having to read about a guy who didn't think a $50 DAR was that necessary. Do what you wanna do, dude. I'm not buying it for you.


I’m losing friends as well. They’re sick of the drama. So am I.
I just went and bought one... with rechargeable batteries. Olympus vn 541pc

Question for you guys. I have a number of videos of my ex yelling screaming slamming doors crying uncontrollably. My attorney asked to see a couple of them and mentioned if we needed to we could have her psychologically evaluated. Does anyone have experience with this? In all reality she is a great nurturer, but she has major anger issues and her mood fluctuated rapidly and drastically. He mentioned that alone could cost 15-20k


Don't waste money on a psych eval... that is not going to help you. learn to manage your lawyer. Those videos aren't going to matter much either. Forget the drama...

Like someone already said, the presumption in your state is joint. Focus on showing your a good dad and that you are capable of joint.

Your biggest weakness is clearly your not over your ex. Stop all contact with her unless it is about your kid. You guys are done, she is clearly not going to give you join so you will have to go to court and see it through. If you stop looking weak maybe she will fold before the trial when she realizes what the law is and that she has no case.


Excellent advice. I'm learning. And no, in some way or another I'll probably always wish that it didnt have to be this way. This is certainly not how i was raised, or how i wanted to live my life, or how i wanted my children to be raised. My grandparents were married 67 years and died 28 days apart. My parents have been married 37 years and ive watched them overcome their own struggles. Now they both drive porches and live on a fancy country club. Point is... i dont think most men want this for themselves, and the desire for my daughter to have an intact family is still there... yes i have sucked up a lot of pride and am beginning to understand just how little power i have until a judge grants it to me. sad state of affairs for single fathers. I have no further reason to contact her about anything. She wants to do it the hard way, we'll go to court.. fine. Im sick and tired of being criminalized, manipulated and lambasted by her and her acquaintances. Moving forward, i will only speak with her in writing, or with a recording device on me. And I have made it clear that i want to meet in a place with video and audio recording. So hopefully ill be protected.

dadee_tx wrote:
s4boost wrote:
You’re right. I should have been more clear in my statement. She is a good nurturer to our child BUT Her mood fluctuates rapidly when dealing with me.


Keep in mind that your child is still very young. When they get a little older and start asserting more independence ie. not doing exactly what Mom wants do you really think that she's going to be able to magically contain her temper? Leopards don't change their spots.


sad that she doesnt understand that her actions today will have lasting consequences.

afc wrote:
s4boost wrote:
You’re right. I should have been more clear in my statement. She is a good nurturer to our child BUT Her mood fluctuates rapidly when dealing with me.



That doesnt mean she is unstable, just that she hates you.


is this even a question at this point? She is very unstable. she also hates me. which is fine. She hates herself the most.

Havalu7 wrote:Op great job on getting the DAR! This will somewhat alieve a worry that you can now shelve and concentrate on the game plan you must employ here. The gents and auxiliary here WILL help you as you can see.

Now make sure no one and I mean no one including your kids, family, atty, buddies NO ONE is to know about that recording device as you have been told it may save you from a falsely accused FELONY.

Let that soak in brohammer FELONY. Don't be the Thatguy who comes back here and says "I should have listened to you guys here and had that thing going 24-7". Trust me it has happened many times here and we don't want it to be you.

Stay close to the forum and I see that your skin is thickening up as you swallow you pride and ill-conceived notions that we ALL had when we first got in this spot.


Pride? whats that? lol. the state of tennessee took that from me on may 16th when i became a father haha. but anyways, yes, the DAR has already been helpful. Her and i were discussing time for me to be with the baby next week and she flew off the handle saying "you know what, im just not gonna let you see her anymore until court. you want me to be a b itch, ill be a b itch." probably wont use that in court as evidence cause then she'll know im recording her, but its helpful to have that recording so that my attorney and the court can see how argumentative she is. she was mad that i want to meet at the police station because of the event that took place at her work. I spoke with an officer who was adamant that i meet with her with an officer present, or in a video and audio recorded area for my protection. The place she wants to meet is right beside her work, the place i want to meet is 15 minutes out of her way (there and back). I dont feel bad about inconveniencing her whatsoever. I am permanently banned from an entire apartment complex now because of her stupid friends. So she can deal with the consequences of that. Now shes guilt tripping me about meeting at the police station syaing she doesnt want our daughter to associate that with us. Well, in my opinion, she has been crazy enough to get me arrested and make false accusations, so for the forseeable future i want to be protected, besides, our daughter is 5.5 months old, she doesnt know if shes at disneyworld or prison. And im not willing to risk my freedom.

in the restraining order she tried to get on me back in march, my attorney read it, and was like, "is she serious? i cant even believe a judge signed this." so she'll definitely make irrational decisions to have the control.
s4boost
10+ Posts
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:52 am

PreviousNext

Return to Parenting - Child Custody Forum and Child Support Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot] and 7 guests