30 yr old, in the thick of it

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sun Nov 12, 2017 8:27 am

good luck with Melrose place divorce. If you actually want to figure out how to protect your rights as a dad feel free to come back otherwise, don't forget to grab something at the gift shop on the way out since you got this figured out.
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Sun Nov 12, 2017 2:59 pm

massdad1234 wrote:good luck with Melrose place divorce. If you actually want to figure out how to protect your rights as a dad feel free to come back otherwise, don't forget to grab something at the gift shop on the way out since you got this figured out.

I was never married. How about instead of the passive aggressive insults you enlighten me?
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Mon Nov 13, 2017 4:35 pm

So. Any advice on custody schedules? Not sure how week on week off 2255 3344 differ. I understand on 2255 it’s possible someone get only weekdays. Week on week off seems most fair. I’m open to thoughts. I’m going to fight for one of these at 2/3 years old.
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:40 pm

Nothing?
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:38 pm

If you can't get it now the chances are slim you'll get it later. The courts greatest bias is status quo. It'll be very difficult to change later and even more difficult to change drastically.

At 2/3 the courts are highly unlikely to give you week on week off. Don't get too far in the weeds on deciding what kind of 50 50 youre going to fight for later. You'll be very fortunate to get it in any form.
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:25 pm

First offer to me was a 3 year tiered plan working up to every other weekend at the start of the 3rd year........... wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Edit: off to trial we go.
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby vlsora » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:18 pm

s4boost wrote:First offer to me was a 3 year tiered plan working up to every other weekend at the start of the 3rd year........... wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Edit: off to trial we go.


Hopefully you are realizing you are in a battle for your child now, you are not going to work anything out by being nice to her.

A lot of similarities to my story, I used all the stuff my ex did as motivation, became super dad and fought as hard as I could, losing was not an option. I got joint custody after she saw my resolve and that I was not backing down. Then primary, and now recently sole custody as her life has fallen apart. Be patient and focus on doing the right things, you are your own worst enemy. I made a lot of mistakes early on and somehow made it through. You are already ahead of where I was with the advice you are getting on here.
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby dad2grls » Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:10 pm

I'm a bit late to this thread, 5 pages in, you're on the way to trial and you've made a ton of mistakes which are understandable, but unfortunate. What you do early on can make much more of a difference than what you do later.

What I will say is that you are receiving excellent advice on this thread, with the occasional snarky sarcastic comment thrown in by nonhelpful posters which you should just ignore.

I hope you now realize that your strategy of trying to prove her to be an unfit mother because she's some sort of psychopath is a fail strategy, you need to prove that you are capable of being a 50/50 parent not that she cannot be. Just curious, now that you look back on your "giving her backrubs to avoid a domestic violence charge" do you realize that was rather foolish?
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby s4boost » Tue Dec 12, 2017 11:36 pm

dad2grls wrote:
I hope you now realize that your strategy of trying to prove her to be an unfit mother because she's some sort of psychopath is a fail strategy, you need to prove that you are capable of being a 50/50 parent not that she cannot be. Just curious, now that you look back on your "giving her backrubs to avoid a domestic violence charge" do you realize that was rather foolish?


indeed i do. however, i believe the point remains that she is not in fear for her safety and can no longer use that as her ploy to keep me away from my daughter.

maybe im doing this wrong, and im open to advice, i have been trying to do what i feel is the right thing. The TPP agreement i have is monday wednesday and friday 8-6 and every other sunday overnight. My daughter is 6 months old now and i work nights so im able to spend that time during the week with her. With that said, i have offered to share the time with mother on occasion as to hopefully foster a better relationship with her. It doesnt seem to be working. It terms of what a judge will say, is this appropriate behavior for me to offer to include her in my time, or should i not make the offer? Also, in February, she is going on a family trip that i was supposed to go on. She has mentioned that she will need to take my daughter during my parenting time friday and will not return her until during my time monday. My attorney has suggested i give her the time without asking for anything in return. THoughts on that?

Our ability to communicate has taken a sharp dive. She wouldnt even speak to me today about a change of babysitting plans for our daughter tomorrow. She refuses to compromise on any level, and clearly does not want to co parent in any way. This is not at all how i want to parent, however, shes calling all the shots. Refused my paramour provision after she had already agreed to it, because i didnt hear back from her today i had to ask my parents to watch my daughter tomorrow
since the baby sitter is sick which is about a 20 minute drive for her each way. I told her i was going to try to get my parents to watch her more often so i could save money and she flipped said she wasnt driving there, and then asked if some days id take her to her dads. I simply pointed out in text that she is asking me to compromise, but refusing to compromise herself. I know the paramour provision made her mad but in my state a judge cannot add it to parenting plan so im SOL on that one, however, my ex has almost always had very promiscuous encounters with men and i truly feel like it could teach my daughter some bad habits about romance, and potentially expose her to abuse. Im not sure how to protect her from that anymore, but i told my ex look, this is a healthy boundary, im happy to change the verbiage on the agreement or the time if you like, just tell me what you didnt like about it and ill have it changed to something we can both agree to. She said nope. Not agreeing to it. So its evident shes not willing to communicate or compromise if it doesnt solely benefit her. My question is, how does a judge view this inability to work with me on any level? I have documented a number of occasions where i asked her to go to co parenting classes, co parenting counseling, mediation and she has refused each one. I still went to the class.


thoughts on this?
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Re: 30 yr old, in the thick of it

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Dec 13, 2017 12:45 am

She said nope. Not agreeing to it. So its evident shes not willing to communicate or compromise if it doesnt solely benefit her.


Your ex is right to refuse such a request and if the shoe were on the other foot we would advise you to refuse it as well.

It's a form of control and an insult that says you (she) , the parent, is not fit to make such a decision.
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