Preschool

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Preschool

Unread postby OrigamiDragon » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:49 am

Mother is not taking S5 to preschool. He is behind as noted by a speech therapist, his pediatrician, and a CPS investigator, as well as mothers admission. She agreed to the school but refused to talk start dates. I started him on my holiday weekend since there are only a few months until Kindergarten and he is years behind in some skills. Should I stop paying immediately? Lawyer is waiting to see what OC files claiming kidnapping over a (likely intentional) miscommunication over makeup time. Meanwhile OC has failed to write up a verbal entry from March 2nd remotely accurately; transcripts arrive next week. What are my options? I feel like I should be filing now instead of letting OC craft whatever narrative she wants. GAL is moving very slow, hasn't even talked to mother once yet. OC is flooding GAL ear of fabricated awful things while my lawyer is telling me to restrain reaching out to GAL. I am being given low attention and my lawyer keeps getting caught off guard by OC even though I am wasting money keeping him up to date every time something happens. Very frustrated, very broke.

Just for icing, mother took away his Birthday present from me (analog watch) which I feel should be a breach of non-disparagement.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:41 am

"Should I stop paying immediately?"

For what preschool?

Clarification please Sir.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:42 am

Sounds to me like you need to find a new attorney. Do not stop paying child support unilaterally no matter what reason. You need a more aggressive attorney that furthers your interests. I've been with an attorney like the one you are describing yours like, and I think the problems you are having are squarely because of his incompetence.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby OrigamiDragon » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:49 am

Havalu7 wrote:"Should I stop paying immediately?"

For what preschool?

Clarification please Sir.


Only talking about preschool, but I want to file a modification based on bearing 100% of the costs.

whatever_works wrote:Sounds to me like you need to find a new attorney. Do not stop paying child support unilaterally no matter what reason. You need a more aggressive attorney that furthers your interests. I've been with an attorney like the one you are describing yours like, and I think the problems you are having are squarely because of his incompetence.


He is highly respected and well known in the court. I am a very poor client. It is clear his strategy is patiently wait for Mother to hang herself further. However I am done playing chicken with my son's well-being. There is plenty of evidence of neglect and malicious, court defying gatekeeping. He wants to keep things to "one motion at a time" and OC is deliberately stalling on that. I don't like how often they talk about the case "off the record" to keep her cool, I have no idea what he is promising her on my behalf.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:02 pm

OrigamiDragon wrote:He is highly respected and well known in the court. I am a very poor client. It is clear his strategy is patiently wait for Mother to hang herself further.


or hang you out to dry.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:46 pm

JimRockford wrote:
OrigamiDragon wrote:He is highly respected and well known in the court. I am a very poor client. It is clear his strategy is patiently wait for Mother to hang herself further.


or hang you out to dry.


Thats the thing.

You need an attorney who is all of the above and has a good rapport with you and looks out for your interests too. Sometimes highly respected lawyers are just not interested in your business. You should definitely find another if this one is not meeting your needs.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby JimRockford » Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:52 pm

Also by stating that you are a "very poor client" emphasizes that you have let your guard down and feel grateful for whatever you are getting.

And the other statement, " I have no idea what he is promising her on my behalf."

Dude, you are setting yourself up as sheep to the slaughter and you seem to somehow be okay with it.

I'm hoping that you're not thinking that if you somehow stipulate to something that you don't want, that the court will take sympathy on you later and let you out of it. That won't happen!
Last edited by JimRockford on Fri Apr 21, 2017 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby skyhappynwb » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:23 pm

My 2 cents for the preschool: is there something at preschool that is specifically addressing speech issue? Or do you have something in writing from expert that says going to preschool helps with speech issue? If there isn't something at preschool that an expert says addresses this issue, then it likely can be argued that it is just daycare.

If there is not something specific at preschool helping him, I would push to get him to seeing a speech therapist regularly. Try to schedule so you can take him, but let NJ know when it is in advance.

I also think your lawyer is generally right that S5's mom is hanging herself and it's not clear to me getting to court a few weeks earlier gives you much advantage. I am not exactly sure what happened that you have these transcripts but no court order for parenting, but it seems like you should have something clear when you have the transcripts that there is an agreement that you have a mid-week dinner (at least). Send her direct polite emails saying any Tu/We/Th dinner time works for you and let her refuse. She might argue that you interfered with her custodial time *one time* due to what you believe is a misunderstanding. But you are going to have her on the hook for interfering with your time for weeks on end.

What is your goal for parenting time? You should have your eyes on the prize of what is going to happen for the next 10 years+ with your kid. Your main goal should be to get a court order locking down the parenting time you want. Don't get bogged down in the weeds that she is taking away his birthday present or she is not taking him to preschool. You should only care about that stuff to the extent that it gives you ammo for the judge. Remember, if she was smart and was just on her best behavior, she could almost certainly get you locked down with an EOW screw job order. Don't get pissed off when she does this crap. Just write it down as another bullet in the gun for when you go to court.
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Re: Preschool

Unread postby OrigamiDragon » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:46 pm

skyhappynwb wrote:


The speech is not the only thing he is behind in. My goal is at least 50/50 time. We already agreed to IPTG+Holiday+Extended time, with midweeks on Wednesday, GAL and 50/50 legal. I thought that included midweek overnights, it wasn't specified. Her objection is all about control and money, she literally isn't even there on Wednesday nights.
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