Shared parenting with no job

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:57 am

I saw my therapist yesterday and on learning that I have a job lined up and my wife is still jobless, my therapist told me that the lack of a job will count against my wife getting full custody. I was expecting the opposite effect. My wife seems to be making a case for more custody as she is caring for kids full time now. I was worried that she might get more in child support too, since I have a job and she doesn't. I am aware of imputed income but I am nervous about the judge's discretion.

My therapist says that the judges look favorably upon the parent who holds a steady job and can provide for the children. She said that they want the parent who has a steady income to stick around in the children's lives. But my concern is that this "favorable look" should not translate into less time parenting and more money supporting - which is my wife's expressed goal.

Thoughts?
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:58 am

Don't take legal advice from your therapist.
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:01 am

I was in court once and heard the judge say Well, she's not working so she's available to care for the kids and then set the schedule accordingly.


My advice to any father is don't go anywhere near the presentation that your job limits your ability to care for the kids.
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:09 am

Fatheroffour wrote:My advice to any father is don't go anywhere near the presentation that your job limits your ability to care for the kids.


Thanks FoF. I wasn't going to go there. My argument is that I have a good well paying job (soon) with excellent benefits for the children. I have the flexibility to switch hours and to work from home on some days. I have been a caring, involved, hands-on father. And now, I was able to get a BETTER (more paying) job MUCH quicker than my wife so I am a good provider for my kids.
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:02 am

When you step out of your comfort zone and re-read your post with scrutiny, you will discover she's speaking out of both sides of her lying mouth: Daddy working is good; Mommy not working is bad. Why is she telling you this?? How would she know??

Q: Suppose she's wrong??.....or even half wrong?? And if she's only half wrong, which half is wrong??

Q: Do you see any set-up here?? Did it ever occur to you your therapist may be sexist??

In this game, you hafta learn to trust your gut. In this case, your therapist is obviously aligned with the other side.

Tom
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby grandet2 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:10 am

You should not care what the flip your nj says or the court might think.
Your job is to make a case for what you need and how is the best for the children. They will not give it to you if you don't ask for it and make a rational case for it.
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:28 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote: Daddy working is good; Mommy not working is bad. Why is she telling you this?? How would she know??

Q: Suppose she's wrong??.....or even half wrong?? And if she's only half wrong, which half is wrong??

Q: Do you see any set-up here?? Did it ever occur to you your therapist may be sexist??

In this game, you hafta learn to trust your gut. In this case, your therapist is obviously aligned with the other side.

Tom


Tom,

She said mommy not working is good for me because judges don't look favorably upon that in the custody argument. I am fully aware that she could be mistaken about this. That is why I asked here.

I am fully aware of the sexism going on everywhere. I mean we all agree that the entire court system is sexist and the therapists are part of that system. We may have to challenge sexism at times, and we need to be prepared for it.

GT,

I agree that I need to prepare only my arguments. I am just trying to stay ahead of the curve by seeing how judges might look at the situation.
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:35 am

whatever_works wrote:She said mommy not working is good for me.....
I saw that, Bro. And that's the sexist's lie.

Tit for tat, Bro. Why should it be you that hasta get a job?? Why don't you become the say-at-home parent??

Tom
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby whatever_works » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:46 am

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Tit for tat, Bro. Why should it be you that hasta get a job?? Why don't you become the say-at-home parent??


The way I see it, I was being sexist thinking that judges would think it is OK if I work and the wife stays at home caring for the kids. The therapist is being the opposite of sexist by saying the the burden is on both parents to be gainfully employed and if the mom is not getting a job, she is going to be thought of as a lesser parent.
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Re: Shared parenting with no job

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:53 am

whatever_works wrote:.....and if the mom is not getting a job, she is going to be thought of as a lesser parent.
^^^^^ In no uncertain terms Bro, that's the lie.

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