Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby americandadof5 » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:22 pm

Unless mediation is required by the courts before going to trial then i wouldnt waste my money or time on it. Shes not going to agree to 50/50 so why bother. Save up for trial

As far as costs go, it sounds like a private firm if they are somehow charging $1000 per hour.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby a dad » Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:40 pm

Starting with no current parenting plan, $1000/hr is steep.

Verify that your latest court docs dont specify the mediator, then research local mediators that work with the court. You can do this online but I'd start by calling the court to see if they have internal mediation services and/or a possible list of mediators to begin calling.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby gamingdad » Thu Apr 20, 2017 9:55 pm

$1000 an hour? Holy < edited >!
I have to reiterate what others have said about checking to see if family services offers mediation.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:36 pm

It's a scam. Tell them to never call you again.

A mediator is simply a lawyer who says they are one. A lawyer who charges $1000/hr to mediate is ripping you off. There is not special training, no magic sauce, nothing that deserves such outrageous costs.

The cost is part of the tactic - They likely depend on the sunk costs of mediation affecting the male parties more than female. After you've burned $4000 for nothing, and the mediator is leaning on you with certainty that you'd never do better in Court, you'll probably fold.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby Texas3Step » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:42 pm

I am so sorry. It's $1000 for a full day. Not per hour. I was trying to type while making lunch for my kids.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby Texas3Step » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:43 pm

BartSimpson wrote:It's a scam. Tell them to never call you again.

A mediator is simply a lawyer who says they are one. A lawyer who charges $1000/hr to mediate is ripping you off. There is not special training, no magic sauce, nothing that deserves such outrageous costs.

The cost is part of the tactic - They likely depend on the sunk costs of mediation affecting the male parties more than female. After you've burned $4000 for nothing, and the mediator is leaning on you with certainty that you'd never do better in Court, you'll probably fold.


Wouldn't you think I have a pretty strong case in trial? Status quo of 50/50 for 5 years. Mother has shown no significant change of circumstances to warrant changing schedule.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby Texas3Step » Thu Apr 20, 2017 11:45 pm

americandadof5 wrote:Unless mediation is required by the courts before going to trial then i wouldnt waste my money or time on it. Shes not going to agree to 50/50 so why bother. Save up for trial

As far as costs go, it sounds like a private firm if they are somehow charging $1000 per hour.


It's $1000 a DAY. I didn't mean to type per hour. Apologies.

But I agree. I don't want to waste time if she's not willing to be flexible. I'll take my chances with status quo.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby rclv83 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:34 am

meh. I'd show up, say "50/50 remains with no CS or I walk. No negotiation". The mediator will dance around for a bit but you could be out of there in 45 minutes and it'll cost you $100.

50/50 for 5 years is going to be next to impossible to overcome.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:36 am

So Doc you are recommending radio silence and ignoring the requests directly from the "scam artist -SA" aka attorney acting as a mediator selected by her OC. In this type of scenario wouldn't this SA be in effect part of the OC's team?

I like the suggestion that if it's not mandated why not take it to trial? You can go thru mediation and at the courthouse steps if you have not gotten your STBX to sign (or in NV) to agree and get it entered into the record by the judge, the STBX can change her mind, and your going to trial anyways.

Story time relevant to this thread - I have a friend that I can't get to use the forum who is thinking about using a mediator because it looks like it "may be amicable", but the same scenario in that I am recommending paying for counsel to at least look over this "supposed" amicable agreement that will be drawn up thru third parties since there is a TPO against one party because of some verbal threats and non physical abuse.

So same thing in that if there is NOT a requirement and you can't get the parties to sit at the kitchen table and hash it out; why not go to the courthouse steps OP and save your money for your counsel?

Does that make sense or is this another one of my posts that I will end up editing for clarity later? BTW it's 5 am here :roll:
Last edited by Havalu7 on Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Judge orders mediation - can't afford it

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:30 am

Texas3Step wrote:We have been sharing 50/50.....
At trial, you can argue "status quo." But in TX, unless both parties agree to 50/50, the best you're gonna get is "Expanded Standard."

Clearly, NJ has invoked "woman's prerogative." They often do that.

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