How to cope?

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: How to cope?

Unread postby spritom » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:02 pm

There's a thing that even some small battles now prevent large "status quo" things later

Can you elaborate on this please?


It's just a method of picking your battles.
Sometimes, certain issues aren't the biggest issues in the world and there's no need in that case to go nuclear war and $8,000 attorney fees over getting every other Groundhog-Day-Eve in the decree as a holiday.

On the other hand, there might be a small issue that the Ex is trying to nickel-and-dime you over...it's not the biggest issue. But it might be important to stay firm on that issue to:
* set the boundaries now with the Ex so you don't have the Ex going ballistic over penny-stuff for the next dozen years ("nip it in the bud" strategy)
* to prevent what was a little thing and you tried to be nice with a one-time exception and the Ex trying to claim to a court later that it's always supposed to be that way ("status quo" argument)

Deciding whether to be firm or compromise though will end up being your decision as how you see it. And yeah, it takes a little practice, and there will be hits and misses.
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Re: How to cope?

Unread postby Lord Random » Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:31 pm

Trevor wrote:Every time your x brings something to court, you need to raise the stakes with modifications and counters, so she would have to think about her costs of continuing down the scorched earth path.


That's a good plan. In my case I have an ex-wife that just ups the ante with increasingly horrendous violations. Instead of playing "whack a mole" with filing a motion every time something came up (I tried this last summer and it didn't go well) I decided to bundle everything up and get ready to file a blockbuster.

That's happening now and with everything I'm sitting on I fully expect her, her attorney and even the judge to be blown away with what's going to end up being printed on the 5 lbs of paper it'll probably take to print my motion and supporting evidence.

After hearing the horror stories of other men and their legal hassles as well as my own experience, I see it as necessary to go with the nuclear option or MOAM -- MOTHER OF ALL MOTIONS -- to eliminate the problem once and for all.

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