Long story and advice needed

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Long story and advice needed

Unread postby seriousdad » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:50 pm

Mississippi
1 marital child 14 you daughter
1 step child (exs son who I raised from 18 months old)
Married 15 years

Weve been divorced since December, during the 60 day wait time for divorce to be final I found out my wife had allowed our daughter to go to her friends house where she had sex, she gave her a morning after pill and hid this from me. When I found out I immediately changed the primary custody in the divorce to me, with her having every other weekend.
In the time up until march we were actually doing 2 week rotations as I thought everything was going smoothly and it seems she was actually being a parent.

The entire marriage I was the disciplinary, she wanted to be the kids "best friend" not a parent, and is a huge reason we wound up divorced.

Fast forward Until March. I found out the ex was allowing my 14 yo daughter to have an intimate relationship with an 18 yo man. He was there every single day. This was hidden from me. She even walked in and caught them half naked one night and hid it from me. Had given her pregnancy tests and never mentioned a word to me about any of it. Then I find out she had been trying to get up the money to have the custody changed to her having soul custody. One day I was at her Private school paying her tuition for next year and the 18 yo picked her up. That was 7 weeks ago, I immediately took her from his vehicle and from her mother, and she hasnt' seen or talked to her but one time since and that was last Friday.
My daughter was adjudicated as a neglected child and I received full custody with only supervised < parenting time > with her mother at "my discretion" . The things I have seen in texts between the boy and my daughter and my daughter and the ex are sickening. I haven't slept in almost 2 months because of it. I cannot leave my daughter unattended for any amount of time, because I cannot trust her.
I have an attorney and he is good. I have only one thing working against me in this case preventing full soul custody if we go to chancery court. My daughter wants to see her mother, because she thinks it will be the "fun House with no rules".

I have been trying to negotiate with the ex to allow < parenting time > and at some point possible overnight stay IF SHE PROVES SHE IS DOING BETTER AS A PARENT.

My question is this. I know my ex is selfish to no end. She only cares about herself. She has lost her job as a nurse due to hot drug test and missing work to be with her FELON (domestically violent currently in domestic classes) live in boyfriend. ONe day she is begging me to see her and she will do better. The next she is demanding I let her see her and saying she is going to take me to court. The best she would ever get out of chancery court would be every other weekend as the Albright rules are in play.
I am focusing all of my attention on this case.

Should I try to negotiate with her and allow her at some point to have some type of custody or should I take her to court fight for full custody, child support, attorneys fees ($40k so far), and a very maximum supervised < parenting time > at a later date.
My daughter does want to see her mother, but it is a terrible situation. She is a bad influence, her entire family has been pregnant before the age of 18, they are all broke, she has no job, and the ex is obviously on or has used drugs at some point because there was THC present in a drug test at juvenile court.
Morally what would be the right decision? Because I have a feeling everything will go good for a little while then everything will start all over again and my daughter will be begging to be with her mother again.
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Re: Long story and advice needed

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:55 pm

Hello,

That was confusing, but please don't repeat yourself - who has custody and what is the current court ordered parenting plan?
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Re: Long story and advice needed

Unread postby seriousdad » Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:21 pm

I have sole custody with her mother having "only supervised < parenting time > at my discretion"

This order is good until Chancery/County Court hears the final case in December.
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Re: Long story and advice needed

Unread postby ScaredNConfused » Thu Apr 20, 2017 5:02 pm

Even though you'll be the bad guy, what are your State laws around statutory rape between an 18 and 14 year old?
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Re: Long story and advice needed

Unread postby Lord Random » Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:35 pm

Given everything you said I wouldn't be nice at all or in any way accommodating. You tell her when to be over your house for a visit and what hours she's allowed there. End of story.

Letting her underage daughter engage in such behavior means she should not and cannot be trusted and shouldn't be given an inch of latitude.

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seriousdad wrote:Mississippi
1 marital child 14 you daughter
1 step child (exs son who I raised from 18 months old)
Married 15 years

Weve been divorced since December, during the 60 day wait time for divorce to be final I found out my wife had allowed our daughter to go to her friends house where she had sex, she gave her a morning after pill and hid this from me. When I found out I immediately changed the primary custody in the divorce to me, with her having every other weekend.
In the time up until march we were actually doing 2 week rotations as I thought everything was going smoothly and it seems she was actually being a parent.

The entire marriage I was the disciplinary, she wanted to be the kids "best friend" not a parent, and is a huge reason we wound up divorced.

Fast forward Until March. I found out the ex was allowing my 14 yo daughter to have an intimate relationship with an 18 yo man. He was there every single day. This was hidden from me. She even walked in and caught them half naked one night and hid it from me. Had given her pregnancy tests and never mentioned a word to me about any of it. Then I find out she had been trying to get up the money to have the custody changed to her having soul custody. One day I was at her Private school paying her tuition for next year and the 18 yo picked her up. That was 7 weeks ago, I immediately took her from his vehicle and from her mother, and she hasnt' seen or talked to her but one time since and that was last Friday.
My daughter was adjudicated as a neglected child and I received full custody with only supervised < parenting time > with her mother at "my discretion" . The things I have seen in texts between the boy and my daughter and my daughter and the ex are sickening. I haven't slept in almost 2 months because of it. I cannot leave my daughter unattended for any amount of time, because I cannot trust her.
I have an attorney and he is good. I have only one thing working against me in this case preventing full soul custody if we go to chancery court. My daughter wants to see her mother, because she thinks it will be the "fun House with no rules".

I have been trying to negotiate with the ex to allow < parenting time > and at some point possible overnight stay IF SHE PROVES SHE IS DOING BETTER AS A PARENT.

My question is this. I know my ex is selfish to no end. She only cares about herself. She has lost her job as a nurse due to hot drug test and missing work to be with her FELON (domestically violent currently in domestic classes) live in boyfriend. ONe day she is begging me to see her and she will do better. The next she is demanding I let her see her and saying she is going to take me to court. The best she would ever get out of chancery court would be every other weekend as the Albright rules are in play.
I am focusing all of my attention on this case.

Should I try to negotiate with her and allow her at some point to have some type of custody or should I take her to court fight for full custody, child support, attorneys fees ($40k so far), and a very maximum supervised < parenting time > at a later date.
My daughter does want to see her mother, but it is a terrible situation. She is a bad influence, her entire family has been pregnant before the age of 18, they are all broke, she has no job, and the ex is obviously on or has used drugs at some point because there was THC present in a drug test at juvenile court.
Morally what would be the right decision? Because I have a feeling everything will go good for a little while then everything will start all over again and my daughter will be begging to be with her mother again.
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