demanding make up time

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: demanding make up time

Unread postby hopeful dad » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:42 pm

Due to the pestering nature of ex. Someday in the future she will ask make up time with specific dates
Moving forward with distress behind!
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Re: demanding make up time

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:50 pm

This is clearly something on which you need to expend effort: a personal plan to cultivate emotional intelligence in yourself.

It's nonsense that you can't imagine radio silence. Or not being able to ignore texts and emails. How old are you?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: demanding make up time

Unread postby hopeful dad » Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:01 pm

This one would be addressed with RS. May be I am influenced by her recent pleadings with more lies and painting me as a non-cooperative and difficult ex.

The other thread is more burning!
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Re: demanding make up time

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:34 pm

are you under the impression that a judge just believes what the mother says carte blanche? You need to work on your fear of the mother and stop making yourself so available to her. She knows she can pull your string and you will play along. Start disconnecting your buttons or this will be non-stop.

Next time tell her in advance what days you would like to swap before agreeing. It is pretty simple, quid pro quo. Otherwise, you are sitting around waiting for your ex to provide you with dates after you already agreed to do something? Why did you feel the need to answer right away? Why didn't you ask for your make up dates up front? What do you think will happen if you decide not to allow the child to go on those dates during your court appointed time?
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Re: demanding make up time

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:52 pm

I always accepted my x's offers to take the kids, unless it was impossible for me to do so (i.e., work travel).

But if she ever asked for comp time, it was always at my discretion, not hers. I never chose to be a jerk about it, despite her regularly scheduling events on my parenting time. Whenever I was made aware of this, I just advised her the kids wouldn't be there, unless of course she preferred to switch, and I always got the comp time before her switch days.

Sick time is different, though. If i was ever sick, that meant I was unavailable for parenting, so I lost out. Same thing for work travel. I was lucky to be able to plan my travel for my non-parenting time, though, for the most part.

A rule of thumb is, switch when there is something cool or important for the child to do (providing your comp time happens first). If either parent is unable to meet the responsibility of their parenting time, however, they lose that time, unless the other person feels gracious.
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